General Etiquette > Family and Children

polite way to express displeasure?

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I don't know what kind of diapers you use, my kids rarely wet one through in only 2 hours.

If your son was asleep when he was picked up how would the provider even realize his diaper had failed?  I certainly wasn't inclined to wake my kids if they were asleep just to check for wetness. How do you know he was left for hours and not minutes?

The cat nipple thing, and the unfamiliarity with young babies would cause me not to return to this person, but I can't see that the child being picked up asleep is indicative of that bad a care situation.


--- Quote from: LilacGirl1983 on September 29, 2013, 09:04:37 PM ---Hey ladies I am so upset. I try not to post to much since I know some of you are in worse spots or have more on your plate. We had to use a daycare for a couple of hours until my SIL could pick up baby boy since my hubby graduated from college today! When I got there the house was cluttered. There were two other babies there sitting in bouncy chairs..Some things she said (we never met) 1) he favors one side and recommended a chiropractor, 2) her cats like to chew the nipples off bottles ?!? 3) Asked me if he crawled yet? No he is 3 months then does he roll? No he is 3 months does he sit on his own? What part of he is only 3 months is confusing? (Didnt say that) I told her I just changed him but I think he is wet. And gave her his bottle 4) does he need it warmed up? I told her yes...but thats not what upset me a lot

My SIL picked him up 2 hours later..his diaper is soaked..she never changed him..his onsie around the armpits and neckline were soaked..she didnt change him into his spare clothes..there was another baby just left in a pack and play in the back room..she was originally in the bouncer..She had 9 other kids there. The fact she let my poor son sit in a soaking wet diaper for hours and clothes..makes me see red!

My SIL gave him a bath and comforted him..he was sleeping when she picked him up..I am thinking of reporting it to licensing? Am I being over dramatic? Should I contact her first or go straight to licensing? I need some help framing it politely about how upset I am to licensing since I know they tend to downplay things so I need polite but firm statements in letter format. Not sure how to even go about it?

--- End quote ---

I'd draft an outline of what happened and report this to the state ASAP.

How did you find out about this daycare?

Is the owner giving the impression that she is licensed, when she is not?  (I hasten to add that non-licensed care can be perfectly okay in some instances - in my area, a caregiver can care for two kids without being licensed).

I do agree that no-diaper-change in two hours really is not alarm-provoking.  I never woke my own kids up from naps in order to do diaper changing and certainly wouldn't have expected a daycare to do so.

Whether or not to report it is your call, but you have to accept some responsibility here, yourself.  You are saying yourself that you never personally met the daycare provider?? (if I'm understanding correctly).  While your husband's graduation ceremony was a milestone, I would never have left my own kids with an unknown daycare in order to attend the ceremony.  Life deals us hard choices, sometimes.

ETA:  re your complaint #4 - not all bottle-feeding parents warm up the bottles.  I've known some who say that their babies take cold bottles just fine.

I agree it doesn't sounds great, but I'm not sure what you actually KNOW.

You thought he was wet when you dropped him off.  He was very wet when he was collected.  Are you certain his nappy was never changed?  Are you certain his clothes had been soaked through for hours?

9 kids seems excessive, I agree.  Are you certain she was the sole carer on duty?

I don't think the questions about whether he can roll or sit to be that unusual.  Some kids are advanced.  Its fair that she should ask this.  Same about bottle warming.

If you can be certain of the other things, then I'd make a complaint.  If you're not certain, I'd enquire with the carer.

I agree a bit with the others. For example, my first was fine with cold milk and seemed to prefer it. My second likes it warm. My first was rolling at six weeks (fwiw, she actually crawled and walked late but she was an amazing roller at six weeks) That's important stuff to know. In general, I would not expect a care give to change a diaper during a two hour stint, and rely not if the baby was napping.

The only really dreadful thing is that Nine kids seems completely wrong. My daycare has a limit of four for under three years and eight for up to five years.

I would be unlikely to use that person ever again but side from the numbers, I don't see much reportable.


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