Hostesses With The Mostest > Entertaining and Hospitality

Doggie bags at dinner parties - today's Dear Abby

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siamesecat2965:
Third letter - http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20130929'

LW hosts a dinner party, for eight, and served an "expensive meat" veggie, salad and great dessert, and was shocked that some (?), all (?) guests asked for leftovers!  She said she felt if they were nervy enough to ask, they deserved them, but DA disgagreed.

She said she would never ask, as it was rude, alhtough she did point out some hosts do offer. She also told the LW if she wanted to keep them for herself, she should have said no, politely, of course. I think the LW's guests were rude in asking. IF she had offered, fine, but she didnt. I think she also should have polished her spine, although  Ican see how she might have felt put on the spot.

I totally agree with this. I would never ask someone who hosted a dinner party for leftovers. When I host, if I have a lot, I will offer, but if not, I don't, and no one has ever asked me for any either. But my dinnes are usually less formal, and consist of something like lasagne, where there is potential for a lot of leftovers.  I also host friends for Thanksgiving, and since its just 3 of us, I always offer, but only one takes me up on it!!!

But if I had made invididual steak, or something where there wasn't a lot left, I wouldn't offer as it would be another meal for me.

Peregrine:
The only way I would ever dream of asking for a leftover would be if I the host/ess offered dessert, but I knew I was too full to eat it at the time.  I might (and it would highly depend on the situation and my relationship to the host) if I might ask to have a dessert to go.

However, my answer is given through the lens of how people in my social group host.  My group tends to host family dinners, rather than dinner parties.  These are usually much more casual, have very casual food, and often as not an offer is made to bring something (dessert, wine, a salad, some fresh garden produce to round out the meal etc.) and is normally accepted.  So asking for a dessert to go would not be out of place.  At a formal dinner party with people that was completely hosted would involve me bringing a bottle of wine for the hosts and asking for no leftovers!

Dragonflymom:
I've had someone ask for leftovers once, but it was a small gathering, her husband found out he couldn't make it at the last minute, and I'd made something he particularly liked.  Under those circumstances I didn't think it was rude, but I think it would be in almost any other circumstances.

siamesecat2965:

--- Quote from: Dragonflymom on September 30, 2013, 12:56:57 PM ---I've had someone ask for leftovers once, but it was a small gathering, her husband found out he couldn't make it at the last minute, and I'd made something he particularly liked.  Under those circumstances I didn't think it was rude, but I think it would be in almost any other circumstances.

--- End quote ---

I'd be totally fine with this! In fact, if I knew someone's DH couldn't make it at the last mintue, I'd put together a doggie bag for him!

menley:
It's funny - I would never dream of asking for leftovers myself. Yet I wouldn't have a problem with it if my friends did.

I don't generally cook what I would term "expensive" meals for friends - yes, it certainly costs more than it would to just cook for my family, but I'm not serving caviar and Dom. I think I'd actually be flattered - if they want to take some home, then they liked it!

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