Author Topic: Yes, I do mind...  (Read 8478 times)

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gramma dishes

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Re: Yes, I do mind...
« Reply #30 on: October 06, 2013, 01:21:08 PM »
I agree that the OP phrased it perfectly and left no room for the SIL to misinterpret her meaning. 

I think the reason SIL is miffed is because it was embarrassing to her to have to admit to the child that no, as a matter of fact, she could not make the child a sandwich right now.  Up until that point, the child probably thought Grandma was all powerful and invincible and could (and would) do whatever she wanted. 

I think SIL felt "overidden" and usurped of some of her 'power' in the child's eyes and possibly also her own.  I suspect that both child and Grandparent thought they could do whatever they pleased, whenever they pleased.  This was a tough awakening, but I have no doubt the OP was gentle in her response and it was an awakening that really needed to happen!


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Re: Yes, I do mind...
« Reply #31 on: October 06, 2013, 02:47:00 PM »
I think it was rude for SIL to even ask.  It implies that the OP's hospitality was not sufficient. 
What kind of kid asks one adult to "make" another adult do something? 

We struggle with this a bit with DD.  We can see her ribs, and we struggle to get her to eat.  Root cause is growth problem that is being treated.  But, it is still hard to say no to any food requests. 


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Re: Yes, I do mind...
« Reply #32 on: October 06, 2013, 06:51:49 PM »
I just can't get over the fact that the poor kid probably doesn't even know what the word "dinnertime" means.  Unless meals at her house are different than Grandma's, she may have heard something like "No, I won't make you a sandwich because Blah Blah Blah."

I know parenting styles are different and the kids actually are fed, but the idea that Grandma will not feed you unless you specifically ask for it, upsets me deeply.  Kids should not have to be in charge of their own meal planning.  I know to some people it sounds indulgent, but to me it sounds like Oliver Twist.

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Re: Yes, I do mind...
« Reply #33 on: October 06, 2013, 06:58:45 PM »
Actually, that segues into a recent thought I had about this thread--probably she fed her kids (and now her grandkids) this way because she doesn't really cook. So since she's not planning a meal, it's right within her *own* comfort zone to make whatever it is that has specifically come up.

And yeah, of course the kids are asking for specific food. Because she's not being proactive about feeding them--the OP said she "gets up" from whatever she's doing (at dinner time) to go make a single food item.