Hostesses With The Mostest > Entertaining and Hospitality

So, What's 8+ more people? No biggie, right? DECISION MADE #31 -- LOL #39

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Please help me de-stress about this.

A month ago I sent out invitations for a party that I'm hosting this coming Saturday. BIL & SIL immediately declined due to a pre-arrange dinner party that they had planned on that date. So that meant their 2 DDs +BFs would also not be attending (meaning 6 people.)

I told the DDs that they could go ahead and invite a couple of extra friends. The guest list (23 people) was set by Monday of last week.

My utmost (tight-fit) max for comfortable inside dining is 25 people. This includes the enclosed patio table, dining room table & extends to the living room couches w/coffee & end tables if necessary.

If weather cooperates, we also have seating on the deck and blankets on the lawn.

However. It's suppose to storm all weekend  :( so other than the grilling, I'm planning on an inside party.

BIL e-mailed me today and said "You know, I was thinking . . . the guests that we invited were Jack & Jill. What about if we all just came to your house? Would that be okay?"

BG: Jack was a HS friend of LDH. I met Jack & Jill maybe 3 times? When MIL last came up from out of state for BIL's DD's HS graduation, she brought up Jack & Jill. SIL chimed in and said "I remember Jack!" endBG

So, Having Jack & Jill here would be really nice for MIL and SIL. Plus! Jack & Jill have a couple of (college-age) kids . . . don't know if they'll be coming or not.

In addition, I only have 25 firm plates/flatware, so I'll have to serve everything on paper/plastic . . .

How would you handle this?

"I'm sorry, but I've already finalized my numbers and can't accommodate any more people."   - if it is too much trouble to rearrange for the extra people.  If you don't mind having more people, go for it - nothing wrong with paper plates and I'm sure people can find places to spread out to (if you genuinely don't have room though, I'd pass on this).

Just say no.  You don't have the space, don't need the stress, and it's just not ok to do this at the last minute.  It would completely change the flavor of the event you were planning.  Lack of planning on their part does not constitute an emergency on yours.

It's not your job to facilitate Jack, Jill, MIL, SIL, etc.  They can make their own plans.

This is when you can deploy the old e-hell favorite "I'm afraid that won't be possible".  Send a very nice message back stating that unfortunately it won't be possible to accommodate any extra guests.  End with vague plans to get together at some other time.

Remember. It's Ok to say NO.

I would probably say "Okay," or something similar, and then stress out about it because it wouldn't be okay.
I do not recommend this approach.

I agree with NyaChan. I can't see that there would be a problem with saying "I'm sorry, I don't have room to add anyone else at this point," if you don't want the additional guests.

I think BIL's horribly rude for even asking this. (I don't subscribe to the 'it's not rude to ask' train of thought, as sometimes it is rude to ask and I think this is one of those times). I like NyaChan's wording.

It sounds to me like BIL and SIL can no longer be bothered going to the effort of hosting Jack and Jill and are trying to palm it off onto you instead. Having their cake and (possibly) quite literally eating it too.

If you'd like to see Jack and Jill, how about suggesting you meet up at another time, with BIL/SIL, maybe at a restaurant.


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