Hostesses With The Mostest > Entertaining and Hospitality

So, What's 8+ more people? No biggie, right? DECISION MADE #31 -- LOL #39

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shhh its me:
I think you can say " sorry no more room now , when you declined other guests were added"  not only without being rude but without even offended/irritating/hurting the feelings of even the most sensitive person. 

But if you want to say yes, say yes eat on paper plates and scrounge up some folding chairs.

hannahmollysmom:

--- Quote from: NyaChan on September 30, 2013, 10:07:31 PM ---"I'm sorry, but I've already finalized my numbers and can't accommodate any more people."   - if it is too much trouble to rearrange for the extra people.  If you don't mind having more people, go for it - nothing wrong with paper plates and I'm sure people can find places to spread out to (if you genuinely don't have room though, I'd pass on this).

--- End quote ---

I think I would go with this response. It sounds reasonable to me.

camlan:
First, do you really want to add 8 people to the guest list? Buy food for 8 more people? Squish 8 more people into a house that, it seems, is already at capacity? Will those 8 extra people bring joy and gladness to the gathering, or a feeling of being crammed into too little space with too many people? You were planning on real plates and flatware. How will paper plates and plastic flatware affect the mood of the party? The food that you were planning to serve? (Not everything can be cut neatly on a collapsing paper plate with a plastic knife.)

IMO, if MIL and SIL and Jack and Jill really want to get together, they would have done so already. They do not need your party in order to re-connect. If MIL is coming from a distance, you could let her know right now that Jack and Jill are in town and tell her to get their contact info from BIL. Then MIL and Jack and Jill can make plans to get together outside of the both the dinner parties.

Note: BIL did not think to invite MIL to the dinner with Jack and Jill.

With all that, I'd tell BIL that, sadly, once he declined the invitation, you filled up the guest list with other guests and there is no room for him and his dinner party to attend your dinner party.

Just because he asked does not mean that you have to say yes. Just because BIL has suddenly realized that your party is going to be the happening party does not give him the right to gate-crash at the last minute.

lowspark:
I'm terribly sorry but when you declined my initial invitation, I invited some other people so I just won't have room for the additional eight.

Would it work for them to come for dessert only maybe? Or after dinner drinks? That way, Jack and Jill would still have a chance to see MIL and SIL.

I agree with PPs. You have a right to say No.

Zilla:
Two ways that I can think of:

I would offer to pay for a dinner out for your daughters and their friends.

If this doesn't work, offer regrets to bil.

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