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Author Topic: What is the correct response in an unsual family situation?  (Read 6309 times)

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Roodabega

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What is the correct response in an unsual family situation?
« on: October 01, 2013, 07:51:28 AM »
My biological parent passed away a number of years ago.  I did not live with this parent, and had only infrequent interactions(once or twice a year) with them through the years.  This parent also had children after I was adopted out.  A recent Facebook post came up with them expressing how hard it is without the parent, and they tagged me in it.

I obviously had a different relationship with the BP than they did.  It seems wrong to offer condolences since it was a shared parent.  I just have a bit of sadness when I think about the passing of BP, not the great loss that my half-siblings have.

What is a good response in a situation like this?  So far, I haven't posted.  I tried a couple of times, but couldn't think of something meaningful.

MrTango

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Re: What is the correct response in an unsual family situation?
« Reply #1 on: October 01, 2013, 08:06:27 AM »
I wouldn't say anything at all.  Instead, I'd quietly untag myself.

Zilla

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Re: What is the correct response in an unsual family situation?
« Reply #2 on: October 01, 2013, 08:11:37 AM »
I wouldn't say anything at all.  Instead, I'd quietly untag myself.


Eh, I would just not say anything at all.  Untagging might be seen as negative.  I know I never check my notifications and have been tagged and didn't even know it. 

PastryGoddess

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Re: What is the correct response in an unsual family situation?
« Reply #3 on: October 01, 2013, 08:18:06 AM »
Untag and ignore
Maryland

Goosey

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Re: What is the correct response in an unsual family situation?
« Reply #4 on: October 01, 2013, 08:58:16 AM »
You can set your permissions so that no one can tag you without your approval. Too late for right now, but good for going forward.

I'd untag - they're unlikely to notice.

Sharnita

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Re: What is the correct response in an unsual family situation?
« Reply #5 on: October 01, 2013, 09:03:52 AM »
Even full siblings raised together could experience grief differently. I think you could just respind "Thinking of you" or something similar.

Lynn2000

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Re: What is the correct response in an unsual family situation?
« Reply #6 on: October 01, 2013, 10:02:16 AM »
I think it would be okay to not respond at all if you didn't feel like it. You could also untag yourself if you didn't want to be associated with the status at all. Personally I don't like being tagged in anything because I don't want others to know my business if I don't announce it myself--so untagging doesn't necessarily have to be seen as you rejecting anything, it could just be a privacy issue.

Though I admit "I'm sorry for your loss" might sound a little odd from you to them, Sharnita's suggestion is good if you really feel the need to respond.
~Lynn2000

Roodabega

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Re: What is the correct response in an unsual family situation?
« Reply #7 on: October 01, 2013, 10:18:55 AM »
Thanks Sharnita.  I think that's a good response in this situation.  I appreciate it.

Hmmmmm

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Re: What is the correct response in an unsual family situation?
« Reply #8 on: October 01, 2013, 10:55:45 AM »
I agree with Sharnita.

And unless you feel uncomfortable being tagged in the post, I wouldn't untag.

Sharnita

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Re: What is the correct response in an unsual family situation?
« Reply #9 on: October 01, 2013, 11:02:40 AM »
I'm glad that will work.

Arila

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Re: What is the correct response in an unsual family situation?
« Reply #10 on: October 01, 2013, 11:04:52 AM »
Are you the kind of person who might respond with an ascii picture?  It's vague enough to be taken in whatever good way the recipient wishes.

@}--,--'---

Roodabega

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Re: What is the correct response in an unsual family situation?
« Reply #11 on: October 01, 2013, 11:45:11 AM »
Are you the kind of person who might respond with an ascii picture?  It's vague enough to be taken in whatever good way the recipient wishes.

@}--,--'---

I'm more inclued to use smilies/emoticons in my posts.  A frown might have been OK but obviously not a smiley of any kind.  I have never done the ascii picture thing before.

snappylt

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Re: What is the correct response in an unsual family situation?
« Reply #12 on: October 01, 2013, 02:23:45 PM »
I think it would be fine for you to make a simple reply along the lines of "I am sorry for your loss."

starry diadem

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Re: What is the correct response in an unsual family situation?
« Reply #13 on: October 02, 2013, 01:50:55 AM »
Are you the kind of person who might respond with an ascii picture?  It's vague enough to be taken in whatever good way the recipient wishes.

@}--,--'---

What does that mean?  I'd be flummoxed getting something like that in response to a post in memory of a dead parent, especially if the meaning isn't immediately obvious.
Mysterious ravens go after local farmer's potatoes


StarFaerie

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Re: What is the correct response in an unsual family situation?
« Reply #14 on: October 02, 2013, 01:57:28 AM »
I'd probably post

:( ((Hugs))