My youngest son moved out to the west coast a few years ago. He had enough money for a couple of months and so needed to find a job urgently. He found a short two week one the first week, but it required him to have a car and he didn't have one. So, he went out and rented one!
He made $800 in those two weeks and had to pay $400 for the car, but he still took him <$400. Then, he walked up to Ventura Blvd and went into every restaurant asking to fill out an application even if they were not hiring at that time. It was hard, but he managed to find a job within two weeks.
It wasn't a good job either-- not enough hours, little pay. But, it was enough to keep him in LA. Then the restaurant closed and he was out of work for about a month.
In that month, he followed up with all the applications he had filled out before. He networked with people he met and finally found a job as a server that he still has two years later.
While working as a server there, he met a celebrity who invited him to work on some of her side projects and now works for her full time along withl doing shifts at the restaurant.
It has been a hard road, but being out on his own was a great motivator. And his hard work at finding a job, any job, has two years later paid off with a position that pays enough to live but ,offers him a future in the entertainment industry.
His is now on his way to fulfilling his dreams.
I think you need to stop worrying about how to handle mom and instead get out of the house and find yourself a job, any job. Start making some money and stop spending so much time at home. You will feel so much better about everything because you will have control over your life.
My oldest is working two jobs now because he wanted to travel with his band. Sometimes he works 80 hours in a week and he works seven days a week and its not a desk job.
He loves it because he is in control, does not have to answer to anyone and is chasing his dreams. I don't hesitate to help him out if he really needs it because I feel that I am contributing to someone who is already doing everything in their power to make a good life for themselves.
If he was sitting on the couch every day doing nothing but playing video games, then any help I gave would sabotage his success.
Your mom is actually doing a good thing for you by not allowing you to be completely comfortable living at home rent free. Instead of coming up with stock phrases to out her off, it might be in your better interest to embrace getting yourself out and about.