Author Topic: S/0 taking food for kids: taking food for vegetarians  (Read 14248 times)

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Teenyweeny

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Re: S/0 taking food for kids: taking food for vegetarians
« Reply #15 on: October 02, 2013, 09:12:17 AM »
I would leave the limited foods in the kitchen and let the vegetarians know where it is.  I'm of a mind that all goes if it on the main tables.


It would be nice for people to stop look and analyze before taking things but honestly it's a party and not a serious time.  They aren't doing it to be spiteful or deprive people of something.  It's up to the host/ess to think about logistics.

Oh, I agree it's not spiteful. But I do think it's thoughtless, and a little selfish.

If there are 50 cookies all the same on one tray, and 5 different cookies on a smaller tray, would you not wonder what was different about the other cookies? If you thought , "cool, different cookies" and just took one, when there are clearly more than five people at the party, then I call that thoughtless and selfish.

At best, you are taking a large portion of a highly limited resource for yourself, which I always thought was poor food etiquette (isn't that why we always offer others the last piece of cake, for example?), and at worst, you are depriving somebody of any cookie at all because those were the gluten-free cookies, for example.



Hmmmmm

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Re: S/0 taking food for kids: taking food for vegetarians
« Reply #16 on: October 02, 2013, 09:14:31 AM »
I would leave the limited foods in the kitchen or a 'private' place and let the vegetarians know where it is.  I'm of a mind that all goes if it on the main tables.


It would be nice for people to stop look and analyze before taking things but honestly it's a party and not a serious time.  They aren't doing it to be spiteful or deprive people of something.  It's up to the host/ess to think about logistics.

I agree with this.

At a party of 30-35 people, most guest would not know how many vegeterians were in attendance or how many veggie dogs or burgers had been made per vegeterian. If I saw a pile of meat and believed it was more than the guests could consume, I would assume the hosts made similar over abundance of the veggie option.

I do think a considerate guest should leave items obviously designated for a certain group alone until they are sure that group has been through the buffet line. But I think that it really falls upon the hosts to make sure there is plenty of both options. With so many people looking for ways to improve nutrition, I wouldn't find it odd for someone to say "oh, I've always wanted to try eggless egg salad" or want to sample the sugar free cheesecake.

But I've heard others on this board say guests shouldn't use parties as a chance to sample new foods they don't know they like because of the risk of not eating it and having it go to waste. So I'm sure others will disagree with me since I think buffets I host are great opportunities for my guests to sample something new.


Zilla

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Re: S/0 taking food for kids: taking food for vegetarians
« Reply #17 on: October 02, 2013, 09:21:26 AM »
I would leave the limited foods in the kitchen and let the vegetarians know where it is.  I'm of a mind that all goes if it on the main tables.


It would be nice for people to stop look and analyze before taking things but honestly it's a party and not a serious time.  They aren't doing it to be spiteful or deprive people of something.  It's up to the host/ess to think about logistics.

Oh, I agree it's not spiteful. But I do think it's thoughtless, and a little selfish.

If there are 50 cookies all the same on one tray, and 5 different cookies on a smaller tray, would you not wonder what was different about the other cookies? If you thought , "cool, different cookies" and just took one, when there are clearly more than five people at the party, then I call that thoughtless and selfish.

At best, you are taking a large portion of a highly limited resource for yourself, which I always thought was poor food etiquette (isn't that why we always offer others the last piece of cake, for example?), and at worst, you are depriving somebody of any cookie at all because those were the gluten-free cookies, for example.


Honestly I would think the hostess had only two different sizes platters to use and not think twice.  I don't see it as selfish or thoughtless either.  It's a party and guests are there to be jolly.  It's up to the hostess to think and make sure her guests are provided for by taking extra steps such as placing the limited foods in the kitchen etc.  And back to your cookie example, who knows if the hostess still have boxes of more cookies in the kitchen as I would have. 

LadyL

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Re: S/0 taking food for kids: taking food for vegetarians
« Reply #18 on: October 02, 2013, 09:31:32 AM »

If there are 50 cookies all the same on one tray, and 5 different cookies on a smaller tray, would you not wonder what was different about the other cookies? If you thought , "cool, different cookies" and just took one, when there are clearly more than five people at the party, then I call that thoughtless and selfish.


I disagree - I think most people appreciate novelty - if the 5 cookies look like a special treat of some sort (that there may only be 5 of because they are so good, people already ate the other 45) wouldn't you want to try one? As someone who has planned events, it is just a bad idea to expect guests surveying a buffet to follow the same set of unwritten rules you had in your mind. Either put the vegetarian stuff in another location, or have enough extra veggie burgers so that if everyone wants one you can make more.

Also, my experience as a meat eater is that good vegetarian and vegan food is often WAY tastier than run-of-the-mill bbq food (i.e. burgers and dogs). There are more varied and unexpected textures, flavors, etc. - so given a choice between a well done hamburger (meh) and a veggie burger I'm going veggie burger. It's also a health consciousness thing - I know the veggie burger is going to be lean and, well, have a serving or more of veggies; if I'm not up for a salty fatty meatfest a veggie burger is my preferred option over meat.

In my family there is one vegetarian  but lots of veggie burgers because she's recommended really good ones and lots of people have tried and liked them.

secretrebel

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Re: S/0 taking food for kids: taking food for vegetarians
« Reply #19 on: October 02, 2013, 09:39:03 AM »
At a lot of meals I've been to the vegetarians are given the first serving of the veggie dish and then only when people are having seconds do the meat eaters get invited to try it.

Teenyweeny

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Re: S/0 taking food for kids: taking food for vegetarians
« Reply #20 on: October 02, 2013, 09:50:07 AM »

If there are 50 cookies all the same on one tray, and 5 different cookies on a smaller tray, would you not wonder what was different about the other cookies? If you thought , "cool, different cookies" and just took one, when there are clearly more than five people at the party, then I call that thoughtless and selfish.


I disagree - I think most people appreciate novelty - if the 5 cookies look like a special treat of some sort (that there may only be 5 of because they are so good, people already ate the other 45) wouldn't you want to try one? As someone who has planned events, it is just a bad idea to expect guests surveying a buffet to follow the same set of unwritten rules you had in your mind. Either put the vegetarian stuff in another location, or have enough extra veggie burgers so that if everyone wants one you can make more.

I suppose that I was just brought up with very strict rules regarding communal eating, which were as follows:

1) Look at the dish being served. Divide it by the number of people there. Take that amount or less until you are sure everybody has had their first helping.

2) Don't take the last of anything without offering it to others first.

3) Take only what you are sure you will eat. If you want to try something new, take a tiny helping to taste.

4) If you touch it, you take it.

So, if there were 5 cookies (and they were presented in such a way as to make it clear that there were only ever 5 of that variety, and not 5 left from a batch of 50), then even if they looked delicious, politeness would forbid me from taking one because of rules 1 and 4. A whole cookie would be too much to take for just me, and there's no way to break a piece off without leaving an unappetizing piece that I've touched.

That's quite apart from any consideration as to why a host would serve 50 of one kind and only 5 of another, which is surely the first thought that would occur to me, leading me to conclude that there was something else at play here.



WillyNilly

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Re: S/0 taking food for kids: taking food for vegetarians
« Reply #21 on: October 02, 2013, 09:56:25 AM »
I'm an omnivore. I eat meat. But I'm by no means a "meat lover". I love vegetables. And I prefer cheese or spinach pizza to any other types of pizza. Just because I do eat meat doesn't mean I want every dish, or even every meal to have meat in it. And I get pretty insulted when vegetarians assume that because I do eat meat it means I always eat tons of meat to the exclusion of other foods.

As i said in the other thread, when at a buffet party people should do a quick scan of the number of people of at the event and at the number of servings of each food and only take one portion. But if all foods are presented to all the guests, every guest has equal rights to try any of the foods.

Teenyweeny

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Re: S/0 taking food for kids: taking food for vegetarians
« Reply #22 on: October 02, 2013, 10:00:35 AM »
I'm an omnivore. I eat meat. But I'm by no means a "meat lover". I love vegetables. And I prefer cheese or spinach pizza to any other types of pizza. Just because I do eat meat doesn't mean I want every dish, or even every meal to have meat in it. And I get pretty insulted when vegetarians assume that because I do eat meat it means I always eat tons of meat to the exclusion of other foods.

As i said in the other thread, when at a buffet party people should do a quick scan of the number of people of at the event and at the number of servings of each food and only take one portion. But if all foods are presented to all the guests, every guest has equal rights to try any of the foods.

I absolutely agree. I'm talking specifically about cases where it's clear that one dish won't stretch to give everybody present a reasonable helping (e.g. 10 veggie burgers and 25 guests). Then, if you aren't veggie, I think it's rude to take a veggie burger.



Zilla

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Re: S/0 taking food for kids: taking food for vegetarians
« Reply #23 on: October 02, 2013, 10:01:09 AM »

If there are 50 cookies all the same on one tray, and 5 different cookies on a smaller tray, would you not wonder what was different about the other cookies? If you thought , "cool, different cookies" and just took one, when there are clearly more than five people at the party, then I call that thoughtless and selfish.


I disagree - I think most people appreciate novelty - if the 5 cookies look like a special treat of some sort (that there may only be 5 of because they are so good, people already ate the other 45) wouldn't you want to try one? As someone who has planned events, it is just a bad idea to expect guests surveying a buffet to follow the same set of unwritten rules you had in your mind. Either put the vegetarian stuff in another location, or have enough extra veggie burgers so that if everyone wants one you can make more.

I suppose that I was just brought up with very strict rules regarding communal eating, which were as follows:

1) Look at the dish being served. Divide it by the number of people there. Take that amount or less until you are sure everybody has had their first helping.

2) Don't take the last of anything without offering it to others first.

3) Take only what you are sure you will eat. If you want to try something new, take a tiny helping to taste.

4) If you touch it, you take it.

So, if there were 5 cookies (and they were presented in such a way as to make it clear that there were only ever 5 of that variety, and not 5 left from a batch of 50), then even if they looked delicious, politeness would forbid me from taking one because of rules 1 and 4. A whole cookie would be too much to take for just me, and there's no way to break a piece off without leaving an unappetizing piece that I've touched.

That's quite apart from any consideration as to why a host would serve 50 of one kind and only 5 of another, which is surely the first thought that would occur to me, leading me to conclude that there was something else at play here.


Wow that takes out all the fun of a party to have to stand there and count the guests, looks at the different dishes offered and do math.  Then on top of that, ask the person anywhere close to you if they want the last servings etc etc.  I am not trying to be snarky but it does boggle my mind.  I just take a little from each platter and carry on.  Now I won't take the last scoop, that's just me.  I leave that for others but I wouldn't offer it or even think about it, I just skip it for the next fuller platter/offering.  But that's the extent of it.  Moderation is my motto.  And as I stated earlier, as a hostess, I have doubles, triples in the kitchen waiting.  I would NOT want my guests to sit there and worry about how much to take, how much is left etc.  That's my job, please just enjoy and be merry is what I say.

Two Ravens

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Re: S/0 taking food for kids: taking food for vegetarians
« Reply #24 on: October 02, 2013, 10:04:49 AM »
We have a couple of vegetarians in my office.  When we ordered pizza, there would be one veggie and the rest would all have meat of some sort, some all meat, some meat and veggies.  Drove me nuts that people would take the veggie and if the two vegetarians weren't near the front of the line, they wouldn't get at any.

We solved the problem by ordering two veggie pizzas and reducing the meat options by one.


See, I am not a vegetarian, but I do not like meat on pizza. Never have. Why should I have to take the pizza with meat that I do want? Am I being rude by taking what I like?

WillyNilly

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Re: S/0 taking food for kids: taking food for vegetarians
« Reply #25 on: October 02, 2013, 10:10:21 AM »
I'm an omnivore. I eat meat. But I'm by no means a "meat lover". I love vegetables. And I prefer cheese or spinach pizza to any other types of pizza. Just because I do eat meat doesn't mean I want every dish, or even every meal to have meat in it. And I get pretty insulted when vegetarians assume that because I do eat meat it means I always eat tons of meat to the exclusion of other foods.

As i said in the other thread, when at a buffet party people should do a quick scan of the number of people of at the event and at the number of servings of each food and only take one portion. But if all foods are presented to all the guests, every guest has equal rights to try any of the foods.

I absolutely agree. I'm talking specifically about cases where it's clear that one dish won't stretch to give everybody present a reasonable helping (e.g. 10 veggie burgers and 25 guests). Then, if you aren't veggie, I think it's rude to take a veggie burger.

So its rude for me to take the food I prefer because I'm not strict about never eating meat? Because I choose to be flexible in life I should not get my preferred foods at parties but rather should be relegated to eat what I don't want? That doesn't sound very polite.

Most vegetarians are so by choice not by necessity. And most vegetarians despite the rumors won't in fact get sick if they suddenly consume meat. So I really don't see why if someone chooses to not ever meat they should be granted things they like while the person who chooses to simply eat less meat should not get what they prefer because they are willing to compromise.

WillyNilly

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Re: S/0 taking food for kids: taking food for vegetarians
« Reply #26 on: October 02, 2013, 10:14:42 AM »
...I suppose that I was just brought up with very strict rules regarding communal eating, which were as follows:

1) Look at the dish being served. Divide it by the number of people there. Take that amount or less until you are sure everybody has had their first helping.

2) Don't take the last of anything without offering it to others first...

By your own rules aren't you pretty much obligated to offer the veggie options to everyone?

If there are 35 guests at a party - and all guests are equal human beings - then surely by your rule #1 everyone should get a first helping opportunity at every dish.

And even if there are only 5 veggie dogs, and by the time you get to them there is only 1 left, but there are 15 people behind you line, mustn't you, by your rule #2, offer it to the others in line before taking it yourself?

Roe

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Re: S/0 taking food for kids: taking food for vegetarians
« Reply #27 on: October 02, 2013, 10:16:57 AM »
I'm not a veggie but I prefer vegetables over meat any day of the week!  I suppose that makes me rude in the OP's eyes but if the host sets it on a buffet table, it's fair game.  Instead of being angry at the "dude" you should feel annoyed at the rude host.  The host didn't plan with her guests in mind.

Twik

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Re: S/0 taking food for kids: taking food for vegetarians
« Reply #28 on: October 02, 2013, 10:17:59 AM »
I have to say, if it's intended that certain foods (vegetarian, gluten-free, etc.) are intended for part of the group, this should be made public knowledge. You'd be surprised how often Ann may say she's a vegetarian, but her coworkers don't remember that, or factor it in, when they see the nice grilled vegetable wraps.

In a reasonable sized gathering, I don't think it's rude to announce, "Ann, we have vegetarian stuff for you over here," in a voice that carries to the whole group.

It should also be part of the planning to buy more vegetarian stuff than is the minimum required to feed the vegetarians in the group. More than one non-vegetarian may prefer the mushroom and onion pizza rather than the pepperoni.
« Last Edit: October 02, 2013, 10:20:17 AM by Twik »
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Re: S/0 taking food for kids: taking food for vegetarians
« Reply #29 on: October 02, 2013, 10:44:39 AM »
 It could just go in circles trying to defer to the next person all the time.  If I defer the last portion to be polite then is the next person expected to defer?  And on and on and on?  Who should be entitled to the last portion etc then? 

I do think it's rude to be a pig and take multiple servings of a dish before letting others have a chance....but it's a buffet.  Nobody is entitled to anything over anyone else.  You take your chances that you may not get what you want.  I have been disappointed about not getting what I want too but them's the breaks sometimes.