Holiday meals are complicated because people do get a feeling of, as my nephew put it, "it wouldn't be Christmas without nut roast." The nut roast was originally part of the Christmas dinner because his father is vegetarian. After his parents divorced, his mother was going to stop making nut roast, since she wasn't feeding any vegetarians at that meal. My nephew considered nut roast important to Christmas, so it stayed on the menu.
Granted, this was partly to make a child comfortable--I think he was 7 or 8 when he said that--but a lot of family holiday menus include things like "it wouldn't feel right without green bean casserole, I'll bring it if you like," among people who ordinarily would figure that whoever is hosting sets the menu. I don't think it's rude to ask, if it's "I really liked your vegetable risotto, are you planning to make it again this year?" especially if it's close family or you've been doing the meal together for a long time. Not being eight years old, I wouldn't put it in those "it wouldn't be a proper holiday" terms, but I do ask my aunt to get Kedem white grape juice for the Passover seder.