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Author Topic: S/O taking veggie food  (Read 9974 times)

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Re: S/O taking veggie food
« Reply #45 on: October 07, 2013, 09:23:54 PM »

It is not a negative comment to ones hosting, but it puts the hostess in an awkward position.

I think that summarizes it well, particularly for a holiday meal.

I find that accommodating special requests at a holiday meal like Thanksgiving is a lot more of an imposition than at a random meal. The Thanksgiving menu tends to be a pre-determined one - turkey, stuffing, gravy, mashed potatoes, cranberry sauce, and particular sides depending on your family background (sweet potatoes, squash, green bean casserole, etc). Pumpkin pie for desert.

Getting a full-out Thanksgiving dinner on the table at the right time is a fairly major undertaking - I find that I end up using the oven for most of the day, all four burners of the stove and the microwave to get everything done and on the table at the same time.

Adding separate versions of the existing dishes and a separate vegetarian main course adds significantly to the complication of an already complicated meal  - but it's something the host does if there's a need for it. I usually make the vegetarian entree the day before, and have it be something that can easily be reheated.

So asking the host for a special dish at a holiday meal when you don't need the accommodating makes the cooking more complicated and time consuming, and puts the host in the awkward position of having to say "No, I won't do it" when asked directly.   

White Lotus

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Re: S/O taking veggie food
« Reply #46 on: October 08, 2013, 12:04:23 PM »
I still say, give her the recipe and ask her to bring it.  That way, she can have the dish any time, so that is a real gift, she can have it on TG, and you don't have to cook it.  Presumably it coordinates, since you have served it on TG before.
What I hate is when people take it upon themselves to bring things that do not coordinate with the meal we have planned, and often without asking if it is OK. If you want to bring (as in, you are a raw vegan, or need a sugar free dessert, or you just can't imagine not contributing), please ask me, or the Prof, and we will work out something that fits in.  We don't mind more food, we don't mind people contributing, but we do mind somebody bringing, say, quiche, or cinnamon rolls (yes, it happened) to our planned Mexican feast, or Big Box Store Lasagna to accompany the homemade Chinese spread.  And, for us, don't bring a box of store cookies and leave them behind.  We won't eat them, they'll get tossed, and that is wasteful.