Birthday Invite

[BabyMama]

Just a quick question--we're doing a small birthday party for our kindergarten-aged DD this month. We usually do a huge party, but she got some things this year that were pretty spendy ($$ bike, and a pony) so we told her we weren't doing that this year. It'll be probably 8-10 kids, mostly her friends she doesn't see as often.

We're having a small party at our local children's museum from 2-4. I was thinking of including a note on the invite saying that we would be going to eat at a restaurant afterward, and anyone interested in coming with was welcome to come (on their own dime.) Is there a polite way to say this, or should I just not include it at all? Thanks!

[z_squared82]

I wouldn't put it in the invite, but let people know by word of mouth at the actual party. That way it is seen less as an extension of the party and no one will be confused as to who is paying.

[Zilla]

I agree with above poster, I wouldn't put it on the invite.  And as for mentioning it, I am trying to think of how you would say it.  "Oh we are going to X restaurant, they have a great lunch special there at this time.  Would you like to meet us there?"  But even then, that's kind of implied lunch is being offered.


I probably wouldn't say anything and just invite one or two special friends and pay for them.

[Hmmmmm]

I agree that I'd mention it in the invite. To me it's like have a wedding reception that is open bar for the cocktail hour and then cash bar for wine and drinks during dinner and after. A format I'm not comfortable with.

If you know the parents really well you can say in conversation "Hey, after the bday party we were thinking of going to Joes cafe for an early dinner. You guys want to meet us there?" But I wouldn't see who you'd extend this to all of the guests.

And honestly, a bday party from 2-4 on a Saturday was already a big chunk of my day and having a 5pm Saturday night dinner wouldn't be something I was interested in unless I was really close friends with you and wanted to spend more time visiting as an adult.

[Lynn2000]

I think I would just plan to have dinner there as a family, with no guests. If someone happens to say, "What are you guys doing for dinner tonight? Anything special?" you can certainly tell them, it's not a secret. And if they say they happen to be going there, too, you could say, "We're going right at five. If we arrive at the same time, do you want share a table/get tables next to each other?" But if it gets any more organized than that, you would have to make it clear you weren't paying for it and it's not an extension of the party so much as a happy coincidence. It might seem a little A-list/B-list to other people if it looked like you had planned for a subset of guests to go on and do more party stuff while the others went home.

[BabyMama]

I agree that I'd mention it in the invite. To me it's like have a wedding reception that is open bar for the cocktail hour and then cash bar for wine and drinks during dinner and after. A format I'm not comfortable with.

If you know the parents really well you can say in conversation "Hey, after the bday party we were thinking of going to Joes cafe for an early dinner. You guys want to meet us there?" But I wouldn't see who you'd extend this to all of the guests.

And honestly, a bday party from 2-4 on a Saturday was already a big chunk of my day and having a 5pm Saturday night dinner wouldn't be something I was interested in unless I was really close friends with you and wanted to spend more time visiting as an adult.

Most of the kids we're inviting are "not everyday friends," mostly the kids of parents DH and I are friends with and less her school friends whose families we might not know very well. The party's going to be in CentralCity, and almost everyone lives in OutlyingTownA and OutlyingTownB. There's no obligation for them to stick around for dinner, but adding something to the activity might make the drive more "worth" it. Sorry, that probably should have gone in the OP to make it clear that these aren't strangers we're inviting.

Thanks, didn't think there was a polite way to write it on the invite, but wanted to be sure We'll go with the verbal mentions.

[bopper]

After the party..."Are you guys heading back or thinking of getting something to eat around here? If so,  we were thinking of getting some dinner at Friendly's if you want to meet us there." 

[Deetee]

After the party..."Are you guys heading back or thinking of getting something to eat around here? If so,  we were thinking of getting some dinner at Friendly's if you want to meet us there."

I like this wording but I would say it before the party so people can think about it during the two hours.

[TootsNYC]

If all these people would be welcome, then I might slip an EXTRA note in that says, "After the party, our family is going to Restaurant for dinner. If any of you would like to go there too, let me know, and I can make your reservations with ours so we're all at the same table."

I think that implies that everyone is paying for themselves and that this is not officially part of the party.