Author Topic: that doesn't mean what you think it does....odd resolution #30  (Read 9617 times)

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LadyL

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Re: that doesn't mean what you think it does....
« Reply #30 on: October 08, 2013, 02:30:02 PM »
I would have left it alone because by the time I saw it, I am pretty sure someone a lot closer to her would have seen it and taken care of it.

A friend a few years older than I am sent a note on Facebook to another friend about the loss of a loved one, basically, "I am sad for you. LOL!", thinking that meant "lots of love", which it did many years ago. Oops.

Older people do know often what some things mean. It is kind of offensive to me that people think they are putting something over on me. I either look it up or ask, as you may have noticed. If it comes up with someone really close, I will mention it, but I never laugh behind her back about the situation, as some do. (Not in this thread, however.)

I think I saw an exchange on one of the humor sites where someone's parent was saying a three letter acronym thinking it meant "Welcome to facebook."  ::) :P As someone who is now aging out of knowing all the latest slang (I had to explain YOLO to LordL recently, and also looked up SMH -shaking my head - because I kept seeing it everywhere) I feel like it would be a kindness for someone to tell me if I was using something incorrectly.

Also the "bystander effect" refers to the tendency for people in a group to not say anything about something that is clearly off, assuming someone else will. This is often the case online. So I would rather be safe than sorry and tell the person. Also I checked her page again just now and it's still the same picture so no one else has caught it apparently.

ETA: I just got a reply from SIL, here is what she said:   "I saw that a long time ago. I think her daughters have mentioned the weird implication to her. I guess she doesn't care. However, next time I see her I'll mention it. Maybe she'll listen to someone other than her daughters."

How strange! This sort of cements earlier impressions I've gotten of the woman. Her profile is mostly blank otherwise and it would be easy to mistakenly interpret that she is a child predator of some sort!
« Last Edit: October 08, 2013, 02:33:26 PM by LadyL »

flickan

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Re: that doesn't mean what you think it does....
« Reply #31 on: October 08, 2013, 02:32:44 PM »
I would have left it alone because by the time I saw it, I am pretty sure someone a lot closer to her would have seen it and taken care of it.

A friend a few years older than I am sent a note on Facebook to another friend about the loss of a loved one, basically, "I am sad for you. LOL!", thinking that meant "lots of love", which it did many years ago. Oops.

Older people do know often what some things mean. It is kind of offensive to me that people think they are putting something over on me. I either look it up or ask, as you may have noticed. If it comes up with someone really close, I will mention it, but I never laugh behind her back about the situation, as some do. (Not in this thread, however.)

My mother had the exact same thing happen with LOL = "lots of love", and she posted it in response to a friend's divorce!

We did laugh right after we called her to tell her but only because it was so outrageously awful and out of character for her that we knew immediately she had no idea what it meant-- and that was obvious to everyone else who knew her as well.

We corrected her immediately because, well, I know her well enough to know that I need to do that. 

hobish

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Re: that doesn't mean what you think it does....
« Reply #32 on: October 08, 2013, 02:50:10 PM »
While commenting on my SIL's facebook status, I noticed the icon of one of the people who posted above me. It is a picture of a little girl and has a banner on it that says "friends with benefits." Finding that strange, I clicked on the profile and realized that it is my stepmother's ex-husband's current wife, and the picture is of her granddaughter. I have met them a few times at family parties. I am debating contacting her and letting her know that the phrase "friends with benefits" usually has a sexual connotation (I'm guessing she's not aware). I know she has two daughters who are on facebook and would probably know the meaning of the phrase and could explain it to her so I'm wondering if I should let it be (maybe it's an in-joke of some sort?). What would you do? If you were to write a note, what would you say? I was thinking of sending a link to this definition: http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=friends+with+benefits or this one  http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Friends_with_benefits

Somebody on the family group linked to Not Always Working had her mother say the same thing - she told her mom that she did NOT want to hear about her sex life.  Sending the link to that story might get the point across without being quite as blatant...although that is still blunt, it is sharing a story about how the younger generation's slang confuses the older generations.....

Did she actually think Not Always Working was about sex, or was she making a dig at the poster’s sex life?  ???


Nope - I was saying that passing along that anecdote about what the YOUNGER generation means by FWB to compare to what the Woman on Facebook thinks it means and thinks that she is using it to mean.  If she has a grandchild, she is NOT a member of the Younger generation - unless compared to someone with great grandkids, I suppose.

Sorry - the device I was using earlier kept trying to slide off my lap while typing - I gave up trying to edit it & just hit post.  Then it turned out to be MUCH later before I got back on the website. 

Think of the often used quote from The Princess Bride -  "You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means." - only with "term" or "phrase" in place of "word".

I still remember someone using "timely" as a synonym for "time consuming" and wondering why the person she was talking to just got more & more confused during the conversation...

I just re-re-read this and realized I had completely misread it. Thank you for sorting it out.

I remember the "timely" post. That one sticks in my head, too. Is the woman still using it? How many confused callers are there now? Did anyone finally say something? Inquiring minds want to know!  ;D
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VorFemme

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Re: that doesn't mean what you think it does....odd resolution #30
« Reply #33 on: October 08, 2013, 06:27:53 PM »
While commenting on my SIL's facebook status, I noticed the icon of one of the people who posted above me. It is a picture of a little girl and has a banner on it that says "friends with benefits." Finding that strange, I clicked on the profile and realized that it is my stepmother's ex-husband's current wife, and the picture is of her granddaughter. I have met them a few times at family parties. I am debating contacting her and letting her know that the phrase "friends with benefits" usually has a sexual connotation (I'm guessing she's not aware). I know she has two daughters who are on facebook and would probably know the meaning of the phrase and could explain it to her so I'm wondering if I should let it be (maybe it's an in-joke of some sort?). What would you do? If you were to write a note, what would you say? I was thinking of sending a link to this definition: http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=friends+with+benefits or this one  http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Friends_with_benefits

Somebody on the family group linked to Not Always Working had her mother say the same thing - she told her mom that she did NOT want to hear about her sex life.  Sending the link to that story might get the point across without being quite as blatant...although that is still blunt, it is sharing a story about how the younger generation's slang confuses the older generations.....

Did she actually think Not Always Working was about sex, or was she making a dig at the poster’s sex life?  ???


Nope - I was saying that passing along that anecdote about what the YOUNGER generation means by FWB to compare to what the Woman on Facebook thinks it means and thinks that she is using it to mean.  If she has a grandchild, she is NOT a member of the Younger generation - unless compared to someone with great grandkids, I suppose.

Sorry - the device I was using earlier kept trying to slide off my lap while typing - I gave up trying to edit it & just hit post.  Then it turned out to be MUCH later before I got back on the website. 

Think of the often used quote from The Princess Bride -  "You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means." - only with "term" or "phrase" in place of "word".

I still remember someone using "timely" as a synonym for "time consuming" and wondering why the person she was talking to just got more & more confused during the conversation...

I just re-re-read this and realized I had completely misread it. Thank you for sorting it out.

I remember the "timely" post. That one sticks in my head, too. Is the woman still using it? How many confused callers are there now? Did anyone finally say something? Inquiring minds want to know!  ;D


I have no idea.  I no longer work there (not since 2003) and no longer live in that area.

Based on her accent, I went around the other side of the row of cubicles to try to locate her after the call was over...no way to tell which of about eight women she might have been.  I did mention it to her supervisor as it might be something to address in a weekly training session (some work jargon was used slightly differently than Standard English and they went over new terminology once in a while - laws changed and there would be updates on that, too).
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LifeOnPluto

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Re: that doesn't mean what you think it does....
« Reply #34 on: October 08, 2013, 10:13:36 PM »
I would have left it alone because by the time I saw it, I am pretty sure someone a lot closer to her would have seen it and taken care of it.

A friend a few years older than I am sent a note on Facebook to another friend about the loss of a loved one, basically, "I am sad for you. LOL!", thinking that meant "lots of love", which it did many years ago. Oops.

Older people do know often what some things mean. It is kind of offensive to me that people think they are putting something over on me. I either look it up or ask, as you may have noticed. If it comes up with someone really close, I will mention it, but I never laugh behind her back about the situation, as some do. (Not in this thread, however.)

I think I saw an exchange on one of the humor sites where someone's parent was saying a three letter acronym thinking it meant "Welcome to facebook."  ::) :P As someone who is now aging out of knowing all the latest slang (I had to explain YOLO to LordL recently, and also looked up SMH -shaking my head - because I kept seeing it everywhere) I feel like it would be a kindness for someone to tell me if I was using something incorrectly.

Also the "bystander effect" refers to the tendency for people in a group to not say anything about something that is clearly off, assuming someone else will. This is often the case online. So I would rather be safe than sorry and tell the person. Also I checked her page again just now and it's still the same picture so no one else has caught it apparently.

ETA: I just got a reply from SIL, here is what she said:   "I saw that a long time ago. I think her daughters have mentioned the weird implication to her. I guess she doesn't care. However, next time I see her I'll mention it. Maybe she'll listen to someone other than her daughters."

How strange! This sort of cements earlier impressions I've gotten of the woman. Her profile is mostly blank otherwise and it would be easy to mistakenly interpret that she is a child predator of some sort!

That is extremely odd! People have told her what the term commonly means, and she still has the banner up? Sounds like she's insisting on interpreting "friends with benefits" her way (which I'm sure is akin to "BFFs") and to heck with the commonly-held interpretation...

Luci

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Re: that doesn't mean what you think it does....
« Reply #35 on: October 08, 2013, 10:59:50 PM »
I would have left it alone because by the time I saw it, I am pretty sure someone a lot closer to her would have seen it and taken care of it.

A friend a few years older than I am sent a note on Facebook to another friend about the loss of a loved one, basically, "I am sad for you. LOL!", thinking that meant "lots of love", which it did many years ago. Oops.

Older people do know often what some things mean. It is kind of offensive to me that people think they are putting something over on me. I either look it up or ask, as you may have noticed. If it comes up with someone really close, I will mention it, but I never laugh behind her back about the situation, as some do. (Not in this thread, however.)

I think I saw an exchange on one of the humor sites where someone's parent was saying a three letter acronym thinking it meant "Welcome to facebook."  ::) :P As someone who is now aging out of knowing all the latest slang (I had to explain YOLO to LordL recently, and also looked up SMH -shaking my head - because I kept seeing it everywhere) I feel like it would be a kindness for someone to tell me if I was using something incorrectly.

Also the "bystander effect" refers to the tendency for people in a group to not say anything about something that is clearly off, assuming someone else will. This is often the case online. So I would rather be safe than sorry and tell the person. Also I checked her page again just now and it's still the same picture so no one else has caught it apparently.

ETA: I just got a reply from SIL, here is what she said:   "I saw that a long time ago. I think her daughters have mentioned the weird implication to her. I guess she doesn't care. However, next time I see her I'll mention it. Maybe she'll listen to someone other than her daughters."

How strange! This sort of cements earlier impressions I've gotten of the woman. Her profile is mostly blank otherwise and it would be easy to mistakenly interpret that she is a child predator of some sort!

That is extremely odd! People have told her what the term commonly means, and she still has the banner up? Sounds like she's insisting on interpreting "friends with benefits" her way (which I'm sure is akin to "BFFs") and to heck with the commonly-held interpretation...

OK. I concede. The woman has an older brain and should be corrected and simply and firmly be told DO NOT USE ACRONYMS AT ALL, or denied all access to social media without an editor beside her.

I tried to defend her. Sigh.

I remember a Golden Birthday Wish in our local paper once. The date and the child's age had nothing to do with each other. I guess we want all of our birthdays to be beautiful and sunshiney, but the definition of Golden Birthday had been well established by then. Yes, another grandmother. Another sigh. (I don't see Golden Birthdays much now, but then it was very popular to mention them.)

PastryGoddess

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Re: that doesn't mean what you think it does....odd resolution #30
« Reply #36 on: October 08, 2013, 11:46:05 PM »
Friends with benefits means s*x without commitment, booty calls, very adult things.  Saying that it's not really appropriate for it to be connected to a picture of a child is not saying that one should not use acronyms. 

Just because you (general) use an acronym to mean specific things does not mean that everyone else does.  And when you (general) use an acronym or phrase in a context other than its general and commonly accepted usage, you run the risk of people taking it the wrong way. 

If you (general) can live with that great! But you have to understand that it may affect your relationships with other people.

Twik

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Re: that doesn't mean what you think it does....odd resolution #30
« Reply #37 on: October 09, 2013, 10:08:39 AM »
Is she related to Humpty Dumpty, and words mean what *she* wants them to mean?
My cousin's memoir of love and loneliness while raising a child with multiple disabilities will be out on Amazon soon! Know the Night, by Maria Mutch, has been called "full of hope, light, and companionship for surviving the small hours of the night."

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Re: that doesn't mean what you think it does....
« Reply #38 on: October 09, 2013, 12:21:33 PM »

ETA: I just got a reply from SIL, here is what she said:   "I saw that a long time ago. I think her daughters have mentioned the weird implication to her. I guess she doesn't care. However, next time I see her I'll mention it. Maybe she'll listen to someone other than her daughters."

How strange! This sort of cements earlier impressions I've gotten of the woman. Her profile is mostly blank otherwise and it would be easy to mistakenly interpret that she is a child predator of some sort!


Um one of the last things I would ever think would be that she was a child predator.  I would view it as as exactly what you posted as this thread title and actually giggle at it.

She probably doesn't even know how to delete or edit it.

zyrs

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Re: that doesn't mean what you think it does....odd resolution #30
« Reply #39 on: October 09, 2013, 05:11:39 PM »
Is she maybe trying to get across "Best Friends Forever"? 

I remember needing to play my mother some cuts from Cheech and Chong's album because my mother had heard "Santa Claus and his Old Lady" on the radio, thought it was cute and wanted to buy their album for my grandparents.

Nothing we could say would convince her that it wasn't a good idea until she heard "Trippin' in Court".

cabbageweevil

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Re: that doesn't mean what you think it does....
« Reply #40 on: October 11, 2013, 06:32:41 AM »
That is extremely odd! People have told her what the term commonly means, and she still has the banner up? Sounds like she's insisting on interpreting "friends with benefits" her way (which I'm sure is akin to "BFFs") and to heck with the commonly-held interpretation...

Is it just possible that she is trying deliberately to make a point?  There comes to mind a one-time job of mine, where two of my female colleagues both found irritating, the habit which many people seem to have of finding off-colour innuendoes in "anything and everything" (an irritation with which I sympathise). These two ladies countered this habit on the part of some of our male colleagues, by a policy of "deliberate cluelessness" about suggestive double-entendres. One of these ladies coined a term of her own, for a particular procedure which needed to be done in the office, a couple of times a day. The word she hit on for this term, was one which in the English of my part of the world was -- then, anyway -- slang for "playing scrabble".  This caused much hilarity among those in the office who found that sort of thing amusing. The lady carried on using "her" word, unperturbed.  One of the guys in the office (among those who found the situation highly humorous) tried to explain to her, what "her" word really meant.  She responded, "Oh, I don't take any notice of your stupid teen-speak ! I'll use whatever words I fancy using." (They were both in their fifties at the time.)

I wonder whether, just maybe, the grandmother sees herself as on a similar mission -- with her being weary of what she perceives as most of the world's all-consuming, sniggering obsession with things sexual?  Perhaps she's trying to "claim" "friends with benefits", as something to be given a new, innocent meaning?  A hopeless endeavour, one feels -- but I for one would be inclined to wish her well in it.

hobish

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Re: that doesn't mean what you think it does....odd resolution #30
« Reply #41 on: October 11, 2013, 10:30:06 AM »
^^^^

I can see where you’re coming from. “Porch monkey” from the Kevin Smith movies comes to mind. I know when I first heard that term at age 19 I had no idea it was a racial slur. I thought it was just my neighbors who did nothing but hang out on their porch and make fun of passers by all day. Or momo, which among my friends has always been an affectionate term for moron … but apparently means something else entirely. As far as I know, “friends with benefits” never did have a more innocuous meaning and there is nothing to “take back” since it was coined for the exact meaning that it is used. Someone please correct me if I’m wrong.
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Twik

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Re: that doesn't mean what you think it does....odd resolution #30
« Reply #42 on: October 11, 2013, 10:44:21 AM »
I agree, I've never heard the term used before its current meaning. However, she might be trying to be cute - "these aren't the benefits you were thinking, are they?" Sort of the "ironic headline" thing we see in the papers.

However, in the world we live in, I personally would avoid using this for things involving children online.
My cousin's memoir of love and loneliness while raising a child with multiple disabilities will be out on Amazon soon! Know the Night, by Maria Mutch, has been called "full of hope, light, and companionship for surviving the small hours of the night."

Luci

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Re: that doesn't mean what you think it does....odd resolution #30
« Reply #43 on: October 11, 2013, 11:03:52 AM »
However, in the world we live in, I personally would avoid using this for things involving children online.

Definitely! Language is constantly evolving and it is hard to keep up, but once we are told something which can be backed up with a little research we must keep up with it for fear of insulting or offending someone.

There are innumerable words that I grew up with that have new meanings now or are coming off as racial slurs or strongly sexual. I try to watch it.

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Re: that doesn't mean what you think it does....odd resolution #30
« Reply #44 on: October 11, 2013, 12:23:45 PM »
We're careful about it to the point that we call the raccoons who visit us "roonies" instead of the other usual nickname, which is also a racist term.
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