Author Topic: Field Trip drivers  (Read 10475 times)

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scansons

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Field Trip drivers
« on: October 08, 2013, 04:41:00 PM »
My youngest son is in his last year of preschool.  He's just turned 5.  Really like the preschool.  They seem to do a really good job. 


My son's class took a field trip last week to the pumpkin patch.  They use a school van plus a number of parent drivers when they go on a field trip.  This last trip my son ended up in the car of a mother who also has a child in the class, but until this happened I didn't even know her first name.   Which is fine with me normally.  The school checks licenses and backgrounds before letting a parent drive on a trip. 

I show up on time to pick up son.  They are running a little late getting back from trip.  Van and cars show up sort of staggered, and then nothing.  And my child is not back yet.   So I ask one of the Aids who my son was driving with.  She tells me, and then I stand there for ten minutes waiting for my son.  No call.  No one seems to know where she is. 

When other mother finally does show up it turns out she stopped to pick up her other children at their school, before she brought my son back from his field trip.  Yes, she got the glare of death.  But I was so shocked that she would do that, the glare of death was the only thing I could muster that was even remotely polite.  I would never do that to another parent!   

Later it would turn out that she did try and call the preschool director from the car, and let her know what was up.  However cell service is pretty bad in our area, especially outside of town, and the director didn't get the messages until later in the day.  However there is a school policy against what other mother did. 

We did talk to the preschool director, who was very apologetic.  But what do you even say to other mother in that situation?  What would you have said/done?

fountainof

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Re: Field Trip drivers
« Reply #1 on: October 08, 2013, 05:08:40 PM »
Was it only 10 minutes you waited?  I probably wouldn't say anything as it wouldn't bother me much if it was only 10 minutes.  If it was an hour or something, yes then I would be annoyed and maybe a bit worried but I don't worry much about stuff in general.  However, I would have the preschool director talk to the parent, I wouldn't directly get involved as it could cause my child issues with a classmate if the mother tells their child not to play with mine, etc.  Also, I would probably insist for the next field trip drivers are given rules.

There was a child that got left in between the doors (in a vestibule) at my DD's preschool and I was the one that found her.  The parents asked the director to speak with me and while I agreed it was an uncomfortable conversation as I am generally not a "what if" person ever and the parent kept going on "what if....",  "what if ...", "what if..." and I generally just said well that didn't happen, well that didn't happen..... 

If you do speak with the parent just explain it was scary not knowing where DS was.  Don't go into what ifs as in the end nothing bad happened.

CocoCamm

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Re: Field Trip drivers
« Reply #2 on: October 08, 2013, 05:11:50 PM »
I don't think I would have said anything to the other mother either because there would be no way I could muster anything anywhere near polite.

I would however follow up with the school to ensure that her driving privileges are revoked and she will no longer be allowed to chauffeur children. That would absolutely be my hill to die on even if it meant contacting all the other parents, informing them of the incident, and banding together to confront the school.

CocoCamm

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Re: Field Trip drivers
« Reply #3 on: October 08, 2013, 05:15:28 PM »
Was it only 10 minutes you waited?  I probably wouldn't say anything as it wouldn't bother me much if it was only 10 minutes.  If it was an hour or something, yes then I would be annoyed and maybe a bit worried but I don't worry much about stuff in general.  However, I would have the preschool director talk to the parent, I wouldn't directly get involved as it could cause my child issues with a classmate if the mother tells their child not to play with mine, etc.  Also, I would probably insist for the next field trip drivers are given rules.

There was a child that got left in between the doors (in a vestibule) at my DD's preschool and I was the one that found her.  The parents asked the director to speak with me and while I agreed it was an uncomfortable conversation as I am generally not a "what if" person ever and the parent kept going on "what if....",  "what if ...", "what if..." and I generally just said well that didn't happen, well that didn't happen..... 

If you do speak with the parent just explain it was scary not knowing where DS was.  Don't go into what ifs as in the end nothing bad happened.

I don't think the time frame is important. The fact of the matter is the OP didn't know where her child was because another parent decided to break the rules and take the kids along to run a personal errand!

The reason this is a HUGE no no when transporting kids for a school event is because heaven forbid there was an accident the schools insurance wouldn't cover it.

MrTango

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Re: Field Trip drivers
« Reply #4 on: October 08, 2013, 05:28:41 PM »
Was it only 10 minutes you waited?  I probably wouldn't say anything as it wouldn't bother me much if it was only 10 minutes.  If it was an hour or something, yes then I would be annoyed and maybe a bit worried but I don't worry much about stuff in general.  However, I would have the preschool director talk to the parent, I wouldn't directly get involved as it could cause my child issues with a classmate if the mother tells their child not to play with mine, etc.  Also, I would probably insist for the next field trip drivers are given rules.

There was a child that got left in between the doors (in a vestibule) at my DD's preschool and I was the one that found her.  The parents asked the director to speak with me and while I agreed it was an uncomfortable conversation as I am generally not a "what if" person ever and the parent kept going on "what if....",  "what if ...", "what if..." and I generally just said well that didn't happen, well that didn't happen..... 

If you do speak with the parent just explain it was scary not knowing where DS was.  Don't go into what ifs as in the end nothing bad happened.

I don't think the time frame is important. The fact of the matter is the OP didn't know where her child was because another parent decided to break the rules and take the kids along to run a personal errand!

The reason this is a HUGE no no when transporting kids for a school event is because heaven forbid there was an accident the schools insurance wouldn't cover it.

I completely agree.  If this were my child, this woman would be absolutely forbidden to ever again transport my child for any reason whatsoever.

PastryGoddess

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Re: Field Trip drivers
« Reply #5 on: October 08, 2013, 05:33:28 PM »
I see field trips as still being in school, this includes getting to and from.  So just as if another parent couldn't take little Timmy out of class and walk off with him.  Parents can't make a pit stop with little Timmy in their car during a field trip to run a personal errand.

Deetee

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Re: Field Trip drivers
« Reply #6 on: October 08, 2013, 05:44:33 PM »
I see field trips as still being in school, this includes getting to and from.  So just as if another parent couldn't take little Timmy out of class and walk off with him.  Parents can't make a pit stop with little Timmy in their car during a field trip to run a personal errand.

But this wasn't a personal errand. This was picking her kids up at school. And, if it's like my school, there is a limited time frame in which you can get the kids or you get in serious trouble with the school.

I have some sympathy because I can see how the mom may have had a time frame in mind

3:00: Leave pumpkin patch
3:30 :Arrive Preschool and drop off kid
3:40 :Go to Elementary and pick up older kids

Then there is a delay leaving the pumpkin patch and she may not have noticed or may have noticed and thought she still had time to go to the preschool and then the older kids school.

Then she gets in the car and realises that there is no way she will be able to get to elementary school in time if she goes to the preschool first. So she tries to call and can't so fetches her children.

I mean I know that I often get in the car (with young children) and realise that it 10 or 15 minutes later than it should be because the time evaporates.

I wouldn't see it as a big deal if my kid arrived later in a convey.




bonyk

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Re: Field Trip drivers
« Reply #7 on: October 08, 2013, 05:48:19 PM »
10 minutes is an eternity when you don't know where your 5 year old is.  If the other mom wanted to approach me on the issue, I think I would (try to) politely keep repeating that, "10 minutes is an eternity when you don't know where your 5 year old is."

As for mom being late for picking up her other kids, if her schedule was that tight, she should not have volunteered. 

LeveeWoman

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Re: Field Trip drivers
« Reply #8 on: October 08, 2013, 05:52:20 PM »
10 minutes is an eternity when you don't know where your 5 year old is.  If the other mom wanted to approach me on the issue, I think I would (try to) politely keep repeating that, "10 minutes is an eternity when you don't know where your 5 year old is."

As for mom being late for picking up her other kids, if her schedule was that tight, she should not have volunteered.

Bingo!

CocoCamm

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Re: Field Trip drivers
« Reply #9 on: October 08, 2013, 05:59:48 PM »
10 minutes is an eternity when you don't know where your 5 year old is.  If the other mom wanted to approach me on the issue, I think I would (try to) politely keep repeating that, "10 minutes is an eternity when you don't know where your 5 year old is."

As for mom being late for picking up her other kids, if her schedule was that tight, she should not have volunteered.

Bingo!

Exactly! If she didn't have the time to pick up her kids she could have made alternate arrangement for the older one's or not volunteered for the field trip.

Poppea

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Re: Field Trip drivers
« Reply #10 on: October 08, 2013, 06:04:52 PM »
10 minutes is an eternity when you don't know where your 5 year old is.  If the other mom wanted to approach me on the issue, I think I would (try to) politely keep repeating that, "10 minutes is an eternity when you don't know where your 5 year old is."

As for mom being late for picking up her other kids, if her schedule was that tight, she should not have volunteered.

But she knew where her child was - in the other car.  You know stuff happens.  You can be delayed by an accident, have to stop for gas or to let a child go to the bathroom.  Ten minutes isn't a big deal.

Poppea

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Re: Field Trip drivers
« Reply #11 on: October 08, 2013, 06:10:10 PM »
There is a way to insure that this never happens again.  The OP can volunteer to be a driver for subsequent field trips.  Its usually the same moms that are always the room mothers, drivers, den mothers and girl scout leaders.   Some parents (and I don't mean the OP) never volunteer and yet expect the volunteers to behave as if they were paid employees.

I'm sure that the field trip left late and the other mother was supposed to be back in time to pick up her other children.

alice

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Re: Field Trip drivers
« Reply #12 on: October 08, 2013, 06:11:53 PM »
How does it work with the car seats?  Do these parent drivers have enough car seats for the other kids in their cars? 

Let's say this woman had an extra car seat for the OP's child...what about after she picked her kids up from school?  Was the OP's child in a car seat?

I would be more concerned about that.  I still would not like my kid being in someone else's car.  Do they smoke in the car, have they had any prior accidents?

darkprincess

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Re: Field Trip drivers
« Reply #13 on: October 08, 2013, 06:12:59 PM »
She didn't stop for gas or let a kid use the restroom. She broke the rules and took a child who wasn't hers on a personal errand. She should not have volunteered if her timeline didn't allow for the trip.
We don't know how much the OP volunteers and that is irrelevant to the situation.
She should not be allowed to do field trips anymore and the drivers should have to read and sign the rules before driving.

WillyNilly

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Re: Field Trip drivers
« Reply #14 on: October 08, 2013, 06:14:26 PM »
10 minutes is an eternity when you don't know where your 5 year old is.  If the other mom wanted to approach me on the issue, I think I would (try to) politely keep repeating that, "10 minutes is an eternity when you don't know where your 5 year old is."

As for mom being late for picking up her other kids, if her schedule was that tight, she should not have volunteered.

But she knew where her child was - in the other car.  You know stuff happens.  You can be delayed by an accident, have to stop for gas or to let a child go to the bathroom.  Ten minutes isn't a big deal.

I don't think a person gets to make that call (what is/is not a big deal) when its someone else's child.
The fact is this action was blatantly against the rules. There is no grey area - she was absolutely not supposed to do this (make a stop to pick up her other kids) and she did anyway, with someone else's child in her care and without that parent's consent or knowledge. And that is a big deal.