Author Topic: At least I was polite  (Read 4331 times)

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misha412

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Re: At least I was polite
« Reply #15 on: October 10, 2013, 10:36:49 AM »
In the Post Office yesterday, a woman I'd never seen before was waiting for the lift to go downstairs, and seeing me called out cheerfully "Hello Darlin' how are you?" Almost automatically I replied "Fine thanks, how are you?" She said something like she was fine too, then the lift came, and she went down in it.

I reflected afterwards that she must have mistaken me for someone else. This could cause problems, but I can't remedy that, she was a total stranger. However, I was polite in my response. Or perhaps she was just a happy person, greeting all she met?

How would e-hellions respond? I was once mistaken for someone else, and when I denied being her, the other person got very annoyed, and insisted I was who she said I was, and flounced off in a terrible huff when I was equally instant that I knew who I was, and it wasn't who she thought I was!

I live in North Carolina in the southern U.S. Been here many years after moving from the "non-southern" parts of Florida (anything south of Tallahassee and Jacksonville is "non-southern".) It was a bit of a culture shock when random people started greeting me. The occasional "Sugar", "Babe", or "Darlin" was offputting. But at this point I roll with it. I very rarely get annoyed at the endearments any more unless the tone or delivery causes me concern.

As for the case of mistaken identity, you cannot change a person's mind if they are set on thinking you are someone else. All you can do is remain polite and remove yourself from the situation if the person makes you uncomfortable.

NestHolder

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Re: At least I was polite
« Reply #16 on: October 10, 2013, 10:47:13 AM »
I think she was just being what a friend calls 'preternaturally cheerful'. 

There are people like this.  Like others, I'm not thrilled with 'Darlin' or 'Sweetie' but it's no big deal.  The one that did throw me was being called 'Ducks' in Staffordshire.
I'm now adding to my Bucket List "go to Staffordshire, so someone will call me 'Ducks'".

It may not even be necessary to be that specific!  My grandparents called everyone 'Duck' (not Ducks) and were in Bedfordshire.   :-)

Curious Cat

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Re: At least I was polite
« Reply #17 on: October 10, 2013, 11:02:13 AM »
I agree with PPs who think she was just being friendly.  I now live in a much friendlier place (in terms of greeting strangers) than where I grew up.  It took me awhile to get used to total strangers saying hi/striking up conversations but now I just go with the flow.

Barney girl

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Re: At least I was polite
« Reply #18 on: October 12, 2013, 01:37:07 PM »
I think she was just being what a friend calls 'preternaturally cheerful'. 

There are people like this.  Like others, I'm not thrilled with 'Darlin' or 'Sweetie' but it's no big deal.  The one that did throw me was being called 'Ducks' in Staffordshire.
I'm now adding to my Bucket List "go to Staffordshire, so someone will call me 'Ducks'".

I was amused last week in the supermarket when the cashier (male) addressed the man ahead of me as Sir, but me, then the woman behind me, as Duck.

PS interesting that Staffordshire is Ducks and Lincolnshire is Duck

Bijou

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Re: At least I was polite
« Reply #19 on: October 12, 2013, 02:38:00 PM »
I've never seen a Post Office with an elevator!  :D

I'm sure I'd have responded pretty much like you did. Whether she knew you, only thought she did, or was just a cheery person doesn't even matter, really- she was nice, and so were you.
I was pondering that very thing!
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sweetonsno

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Re: At least I was polite
« Reply #20 on: October 12, 2013, 02:54:52 PM »
I think she was just being what a friend calls 'preternaturally cheerful'. 

There are people like this.  Like others, I'm not thrilled with 'Darlin' or 'Sweetie' but it's no big deal.  The one that did throw me was being called 'Ducks' in Staffordshire.
I'm now adding to my Bucket List "go to Staffordshire, so someone will call me 'Ducks'".

I was amused last week in the supermarket when the cashier (male) addressed the man ahead of me as Sir, but me, then the woman behind me, as Duck.

PS interesting that Staffordshire is Ducks and Lincolnshire is Duck

Is there a term of endearment for men? I thought Ducky (never heard "Ducks" either) was just a generalized pet name for women.

mechtilde

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Re: At least I was polite
« Reply #21 on: October 12, 2013, 03:18:17 PM »
I think she was just being what a friend calls 'preternaturally cheerful'. 

There are people like this.  Like others, I'm not thrilled with 'Darlin' or 'Sweetie' but it's no big deal.  The one that did throw me was being called 'Ducks' in Staffordshire.
I'm now adding to my Bucket List "go to Staffordshire, so someone will call me 'Ducks'".

I was amused last week in the supermarket when the cashier (male) addressed the man ahead of me as Sir, but me, then the woman behind me, as Duck.

PS interesting that Staffordshire is Ducks and Lincolnshire is Duck

Is there a term of endearment for men? I thought Ducky (never heard "Ducks" either) was just a generalized pet name for women.

In Lincolnshire they call everyone Duck or Love. Same in Yorkshire.

That said once you get further north into Co Durham, Tyne and Wear or Northumberland it is Pet (short for Petal) or Hin/Hen (short for Hinny- honey). They are more likely to be used for a man than a woman. Men occasionally get called bonny or canny lad. (handsome or clever boy)
NE England

TootsNYC

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Re: At least I was polite
« Reply #22 on: October 12, 2013, 05:11:18 PM »
I think she was just being what a friend calls 'preternaturally cheerful'. 

There are people like this.  Like others, I'm not thrilled with 'Darlin' or 'Sweetie' but it's no big deal.  The one that did throw me was being called 'Ducks' in Staffordshire.
I'm now adding to my Bucket List "go to Staffordshire, so someone will call me 'Ducks'".

I was amused last week in the supermarket when the cashier (male) addressed the man ahead of me as Sir, but me, then the woman behind me, as Duck.

PS interesting that Staffordshire is Ducks and Lincolnshire is Duck

Is there a term of endearment for men? I thought Ducky (never heard "Ducks" either) was just a generalized pet name for women.

Well, a male cashier would probably not use a term of endearment when speaking to a male customer.

Jocelyn

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Re: At least I was polite
« Reply #23 on: October 12, 2013, 10:26:03 PM »
In Tennessee, you will be 'sugar'ed and 'honey'ed and 'sweetie'd to death.
I've gotten so used to it, that the other day, when a student picked up my (rather expensive) fountain pen I said, 'No, not that pen, hon.' without even thinking about it.  ::)
And if you go through the drive through, chances are the clerk at McDonalds will tell you to have a blessed day. :)

Psychopoesie

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Re: At least I was polite
« Reply #24 on: October 13, 2013, 07:55:45 AM »
I think she was just being what a friend calls 'preternaturally cheerful'. 

There are people like this.  Like others, I'm not thrilled with 'Darlin' or 'Sweetie' but it's no big deal.  The one that did throw me was being called 'Ducks' in Staffordshire.
I'm now adding to my Bucket List "go to Staffordshire, so someone will call me 'Ducks'".

I was amused last week in the supermarket when the cashier (male) addressed the man ahead of me as Sir, but me, then the woman behind me, as Duck.

PS interesting that Staffordshire is Ducks and Lincolnshire is Duck

Is there a term of endearment for men? I thought Ducky (never heard "Ducks" either) was just a generalized pet name for women.

Well, a male cashier would probably not use a term of endearment when speaking to a male customer.


Depends on what counts as an endearment. I tend to hear blokes called each other  mate at the shops, as in "here's your change, mate," or "there you go, mate." But that's in Oz (or at least the parts I've lived in).

In general, "Luv" and "dear" still crop up (though not used between blokes that i've observed) but are much less common than I remember.

jaxsue

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Re: At least I was polite
« Reply #25 on: October 13, 2013, 12:23:07 PM »
In the Post Office yesterday, a woman I'd never seen before was waiting for the lift to go downstairs, and seeing me called out cheerfully "Hello Darlin' how are you?" Almost automatically I replied "Fine thanks, how are you?" She said something like she was fine too, then the lift came, and she went down in it.

I reflected afterwards that she must have mistaken me for someone else. This could cause problems, but I can't remedy that, she was a total stranger. However, I was polite in my response. Or perhaps she was just a happy person, greeting all she met?

How would e-hellions respond? I was once mistaken for someone else, and when I denied being her, the other person got very annoyed, and insisted I was who she said I was, and flounced off in a terrible huff when I was equally instant that I knew who I was, and it wasn't who she thought I was!

I live in North Carolina in the southern U.S. Been here many years after moving from the "non-southern" parts of Florida (anything south of Tallahassee and Jacksonville is "non-southern".) It was a bit of a culture shock when random people started greeting me. The occasional "Sugar", "Babe", or "Darlin" was offputting. But at this point I roll with it. I very rarely get annoyed at the endearments any more unless the tone or delivery causes me concern.

As for the case of mistaken identity, you cannot change a person's mind if they are set on thinking you are someone else. All you can do is remain polite and remove yourself from the situation if the person makes you uncomfortable.

Per the bolded: IMO the FL coasts were less southern, with the interior being southern farther down (for instance, Cross Creek is very southern - it's as if time has stood still). I had a lake house in Putnam County, near Palatka - very southern, as well. But on the coasts, I agree.