Author Topic: Is there a ticking clock?  (Read 7789 times)

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Ms_Cellany

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Re: Is there a ticking clock?
« Reply #60 on: October 14, 2013, 03:22:01 PM »
I proposed in the kitchen. I think it was stir fry that night.
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nuit93

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Re: Is there a ticking clock?
« Reply #61 on: October 14, 2013, 03:22:59 PM »
I'll tell you one thing I don't understand (only one!), though it has no material effect on me. Couples who have discussed and agreed to marriage and are actively making plans, but don't consider themselves engaged yet, generally because one of them is expected to arrange dinner at a fancy restaurant, go down on one knee, present a ring, and formally propose to the other one, and that hasn't happened yet (though it is imminent). I'm like, "You're asking me about being a bridesmaid, but you say you aren't engaged yet, because the ring you helped pick out hasn't arrived yet?"  :o Again, really makes no difference to me, it just kind of boggles my mind. But it speaks to the idea of "engagement" being a discrete stage of life with defined beginning and end points marked by ceremony of some kind, I suppose.

I agree with this completely.  "Engaged" means two people have agreed to marry each other. To call it something else because one doesn't think the actual engagement was "romantic" enough is, in my mind, exceedingly silly.

Perhaps this is what happened in the other thread, where the son wanted the parents to pay for his wedding, although he "wasn't engaged yet."

The friends I've known to do this call it being "pre-engaged"....I can't roll my eyes hard enough at that concept. Now, I'll admit, we've discussed wedding stuff. Colors, styles, who will have stand up for us, ect, ect. Before we were engaged. But we weren't really telling anyone else, or asking anyone to make commitments. We were just ya know...talking. Two girls in one relationship in their late 20s...weddings are bound to come up.

And we got engaged at the car wash where we met. So...no fancy dinner for me (we got lunch at a sports bar afterwards). The engagement still seems to be sticking...

I've done this with my partner too.  It takes some stress out of the fact that actual wedding planning will be a logistical nightmare for us :)

Yvaine

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Re: Is there a ticking clock?
« Reply #62 on: October 14, 2013, 03:28:37 PM »
I'll tell you one thing I don't understand (only one!), though it has no material effect on me. Couples who have discussed and agreed to marriage and are actively making plans, but don't consider themselves engaged yet, generally because one of them is expected to arrange dinner at a fancy restaurant, go down on one knee, present a ring, and formally propose to the other one, and that hasn't happened yet (though it is imminent). I'm like, "You're asking me about being a bridesmaid, but you say you aren't engaged yet, because the ring you helped pick out hasn't arrived yet?"  :o Again, really makes no difference to me, it just kind of boggles my mind. But it speaks to the idea of "engagement" being a discrete stage of life with defined beginning and end points marked by ceremony of some kind, I suppose.

I agree with this completely.  "Engaged" means two people have agreed to marry each other. To call it something else because one doesn't think the actual engagement was "romantic" enough is, in my mind, exceedingly silly.

Perhaps this is what happened in the other thread, where the son wanted the parents to pay for his wedding, although he "wasn't engaged yet."

The friends I've known to do this call it being "pre-engaged"....I can't roll my eyes hard enough at that concept. Now, I'll admit, we've discussed wedding stuff. Colors, styles, who will have stand up for us, ect, ect. Before we were engaged. But we weren't really telling anyone else, or asking anyone to make commitments. We were just ya know...talking. Two girls in one relationship in their late 20s...weddings are bound to come up.

And we got engaged at the car wash where we met. So...no fancy dinner for me (we got lunch at a sports bar afterwards). The engagement still seems to be sticking...

I've done this with my partner too.  It takes some stress out of the fact that actual wedding planning will be a logistical nightmare for us :)

And I think it's the announcement of the engagement that makes the social unit--i.e., the "social" part involves telling people so they can react to it. If you're just planning privately, I don't think anyone has any right to get annoyed about it. :)

katycoo

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Re: Is there a ticking clock?
« Reply #63 on: October 14, 2013, 07:30:56 PM »
I suppose i went through a stage that could be defined as pre-engaged.

My DH proposed with a solitaire diamond.  We then took steps to have it made into a ring.  becuase Q#1 is always "Can I see the ring" we decided not to tell anyone until the ring was ready, but we still started doing some wedding things as I was excited.  He had the completed ring and officially proposed again shortly after we booked our reception venue.

I don't understand the point of telling people you are pre-engaged.  I don't even understand what it is - my situation wouldn't necessarily be the same as others...

LibraryLady

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Re: Is there a ticking clock?
« Reply #64 on: October 21, 2013, 11:26:02 AM »
Glitter,

We have a friend who dated for 7 years, (through high school), engaged for 7 years, and then waited for 7 years to have children.  So please get married when you want to!

You have plenty of time to do what you wish to.