Really??

[Tashigi]

I was co-MOH at a very dear friend's wedding this weekend. At the reception, one of the groomsman had been hovering around me and the other MOH. He wasn't too bad of a conversationalist but he had a rather less than subtle sense of humor.

As the the other MOH and I were discussing our co-MOH toast, he pokes in and says, "I shouldn't say this... I'm going to say it anyways! Who came here to listen to women?" He grins smarmily at the two of us.

The other MOH laughs that brittle surprised laughter of "Did you actually SAY that?!" After I regained some semblance of composure (possibly entailed reeling my eyeballs back into their sockets), I gave him a flatly unamused look, including tightening my lips, and turned my back pointedly to him before addressing my co-MOH on another topic.

Thankfully, he didn't bother either of us again for the rest of the evening.

[hobish]

Eeeeuw. He sounds ... charming 

[cwm]

Wow. I certainly wouldn't have been able to keep my mouth shut for that. That is not someone I'd like to encounter on even a semi-regular basis.

[flickan]

I don't even get what he was going for.  It's not like there's some kind of cliche about women and speeches or that weddings are a mens' thing or a vague connection that he might have been attempting to make ironically.  It's like going up to someone and saying, "I shouldn't say this but-- you're ugly!"

I'm not sure I would have used silence, I think I would have said bluntly, "I don't get it."

[esposita]

Ugh. The only thing I can think of is that he can't hold his liquor well, and meant to put the emphasis on "listen" but got mixed up...which is still highly offensive...but at least makes a little sense, maybe?

[NyaChan]

I think he was going for that style of joke where people say something obviously offensive, like the make me a sandwich jokes.

I think complete silence was a good way of dealing with him - he doesn't get the laugh he wants, you don't have to validate his words.

[BeagleMommy]

Oh, I would have been so tempted to say "Well, I know of at least two women who don't want to listen to YOU any more.".

OP, you did great!

[Twik]

Much as we don't like to admit it, it's enough of a meme that the Klondike Bar people used the concept in their ads ("What would you do for a Klondike Bar? This man listened to his wife for 10 whole seconds! Cue the cheers!")

[Tashigi]

Ugh. The only thing I can think of is that he can't hold his liquor well, and meant to put the emphasis on "listen" but got mixed up...which is still highly offensive...but at least makes a little sense, maybe?

Sadly, I think he was very much sober while doing this. Even then, I don't tend to be charitable.

I think he was going for that style of joke where people say something obviously offensive, like the make me a sandwich jokes.

I think complete silence was a good way of dealing with him - he doesn't get the laugh he wants, you don't have to validate his words.

Exactly. I think he was going for audacity, like a little boy calling for attention. So I opted to treat him like a disagreeable little boy - by showing silent disapproval before promptly ignoring him.

[lady_disdain]

"You were right. You shouldn't have said that. Excuse us." Flat tone of voice.

[Corvid]

Could he have been "negging" Pick-Up Artist style?

[TaterTot]

I was co-MOH at a very dear friend's wedding this weekend. At the reception, one of the groomsman had been hovering around me and the other MOH. He wasn't too bad of a conversationalist but he had a rather less than subtle sense of humor.

As the the other MOH and I were discussing our co-MOH toast, he pokes in and says, "I shouldn't say this... I'm going to say it anyways! Who came here to listen to women?" He grins smarmily at the two of us.

The other MOH laughs that brittle surprised laughter of "Did you actually SAY that?!" After I regained some semblance of composure (possibly entailed reeling my eyeballs back into their sockets), I gave him a flatly unamused look, including tightening my lips, and turned my back pointedly to him before addressing my co-MOH on another topic.

Thankfully, he didn't bother either of us again for the rest of the evening.

OP, I think you did great, especially since your reaction got rid of the hovering jerk.

[Shalamar]

That reminds me of when my husband, two daughters, and I were shopping for a couch.   As we entered the store, I didn't see a small set of steps in front of me, and I stumbled.  The salesman came up to us and said "That's why there's a sign that says 'Watch your step'.  Not that I'd expect a woman to pay attention to a sign, ha ha ha!".

(Evidently, the fact that our group included three females didn't deter him from his attempt at humor.)

He got a stony silence and no sale for his pains.

[EllenS]

What?  That's not just insulting...it isn't even a joke.  Even the Klondike bar thing has a punchline.

OP, you are a model of restraint.

[Tashigi]

What?  That's not just insulting...it isn't even a joke.  Even the Klondike bar thing has a punchline.

OP, you are a model of restraint.

Funnily enough, I have a quick temper but at the time, the only thought that came to my mind was, "Ignore him. Don't give him any acknowledgement."

Other (far less polite) options did not come into mind until I later relayed the story to a few other people and at least one person said, "I'm amazed you didn't punch him!"