On the advice of what seemed to be the majority, I quietly emailed Girl Two. I didn't cite my vegetarianism but mentioned that I'd rather do fruits and vegetables. "Because I am a vegetarian and this is what I eat" was unsaid, but it's sort of a subtext and doesn't really need to be said.
Since the trade involved her switching from her bringing two plates to only bringing one, she had no problems with it, for which I was very greatful.
I haven't mentioned it to Girl One. We're going out shower shopping next week and I'll casually mention it to her as an aside. "Oh, Girl Two and I decided to switch platters. I'm doing the fruits and veggies and dips and Girl Two is doing the meats and cheese. I've got all those dips and I'm already making the guacamole. Do you want me to do a hot dip, too?"
I've decided to make it about the dips instead of about the veggies.
To answer a few questions:
Why is it personal? Well, cold cuts aren't something we buy normally... or ever. I've never liked them. I don't eat them. When providing food for this sort of function, it is actually normal to ask the food providers to bring something they are good at making, enjoy making, or are known for making. To that end, I was also asked to bring guacamole, as I make a killer guacamole.
Leftovers typically go home with the person who brings them.
Buying a premade plate is doable, but also at least twice the cost of putting a platter together yourself.
It's not about not wanting to touch the meat - as I mentioned, I do handle meat to cook it for my husband. But it is at least a little bit about deli meat vs meat from local farms.
I wanted to know if I was being a bit special about not wanting to do this. Maybe I am. I still get the sense that maybe I am being a bit special about not wanting to do the meat tray, but I also am getting the sense that it's not rude to ask casually to switch off and do something else, as long as I don't make it all about the Big Bad Meat.
And someone suggested that maybe Girl One forgot. Probably. Since Two and I already made the agreement to change our plates, there isn't much One can say or do about it without coming across as very controlling.
One is a bit of a control freak and very very sensitive to any sort of criticism, perceived or real.