Author Topic: Guest Couple's Objectionable Parenting Manners  (Read 13070 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Piratelvr1121

  • Super Hero!
  • ****
  • Posts: 11116
Re: Guest Couple's Objectionable Parenting Manners
« Reply #15 on: October 10, 2013, 06:53:32 AM »
This woman sounds totally obnoxious. I'm childless and fully support mothers who breastfeed, but this one sounds as though she thinks she's the first woman to ever have given birth, and therefore, it makes her special.

She'd never get an invite from me again.

POD!!  I don't have any problem with women who choose to breastfeed but her attitude is way OTT and I would have had to nearly bite my tongue off when she asked you why YOU were so obsessed with it when she refused any other topic of conversation.

Man, what a pill!
Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars.  You have a right to be here. Be cheerful, strive to be happy. -Desiderata

flickan

  • Member
  • **
  • Posts: 192
Re: Guest Couple's Objectionable Parenting Manners
« Reply #16 on: October 10, 2013, 07:49:41 AM »
This woman sounds totally obnoxious. I'm childless and fully support mothers who breastfeed, but this one sounds as though she thinks she's the first woman to ever have given birth, and therefore, it makes her special.

She'd never get an invite from me again.

POD!!  I don't have any problem with women who choose to breastfeed but her attitude is way OTT and I would have had to nearly bite my tongue off when she asked you why YOU were so obsessed with it when she refused any other topic of conversation.

Man, what a pill!

Yeah, this would have bugged me a lot and I'm extremely pro-breastfeeding.  First of all, who is she to tell you that as a childless woman you are not entitled to support other mothers' choices??  Second of all, if she isn't talking about anything else then you're just being a polite conversationalist.  I don't think I could have bitten my tongue at that point.  She sounds like an absolute nightmare.

As for the changing on the rug thing?  Nooooooo.

This is definitely an issue of parenting choices being at odds with your comfort in your own home.  I don't mind looking at your breasts all night but if you cannot find an appropriate place to change your baby you are not coming back into my home.

Piratelvr1121

  • Super Hero!
  • ****
  • Posts: 11116
Re: Guest Couple's Objectionable Parenting Manners
« Reply #17 on: October 10, 2013, 07:55:44 AM »
This woman sounds totally obnoxious. I'm childless and fully support mothers who breastfeed, but this one sounds as though she thinks she's the first woman to ever have given birth, and therefore, it makes her special.

She'd never get an invite from me again.

POD!!  I don't have any problem with women who choose to breastfeed but her attitude is way OTT and I would have had to nearly bite my tongue off when she asked you why YOU were so obsessed with it when she refused any other topic of conversation.

Man, what a pill!

Yeah, this would have bugged me a lot and I'm extremely pro-breastfeeding.  First of all, who is she to tell you that as a childless woman you are not entitled to support other mothers' choices??  Second of all, if she isn't talking about anything else then you're just being a polite conversationalist.  I don't think I could have bitten my tongue at that point.  She sounds like an absolute nightmare.

As for the changing on the rug thing?  Nooooooo.

This is definitely an issue of parenting choices being at odds with your comfort in your own home.  I don't mind looking at your breasts all night but if you cannot find an appropriate place to change your baby you are not coming back into my home.

Evil pirate would be tempted to let this woman know my youngest was 100% bottlefed.  >:D
Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars.  You have a right to be here. Be cheerful, strive to be happy. -Desiderata

bopper

  • Super Hero!
  • ****
  • Posts: 12413
Re: Guest Couple's Objectionable Parenting Manners
« Reply #18 on: October 10, 2013, 09:09:21 AM »
Get so nauseous from the diaper changing that you have to tell your poor guests to go home?

Never invite them over again?

Twik

  • A Pillar of the Forum
  • *****
  • Posts: 28638
Re: Guest Couple's Objectionable Parenting Manners
« Reply #19 on: October 10, 2013, 09:47:04 AM »
Well, only someone who likes beating their head against a wall would bother to invite these people again.

It seems that motherhood for this woman exists so she can indulge in her exhibitionist inclinations to her heart's desire, and proudly proclaim she's doing it for the cause.
My cousin's memoir of love and loneliness while raising a child with multiple disabilities will be out on Amazon soon! Know the Night, by Maria Mutch, has been called "full of hope, light, and companionship for surviving the small hours of the night."

misha412

  • Member
  • **
  • Posts: 446
Re: Guest Couple's Objectionable Parenting Manners
« Reply #20 on: October 10, 2013, 09:57:45 AM »
Oh the militant supporter of (insert your choice). Their passion/obsession/cause/personal belief system overrides everyone else's comfort and polite society's expectations. Go over to the home of your husband's co-worker and make sure everyone there know your views on (insert your choice). Refuse to discuss anything but (insert your choice). Make sure to cut off the host/hostess/other guests' opinions/comments/random thoughts on (insert your choice) because they obviously don't have the expertise/same opinion/a freaking clue on said subject as the militant supporter does. Be sure to do/talk about/expound upon/demonstrate/show pictures of (insert your choice) multiple times in their presence no matter how uncomfortable the people around you may be with it.

Add to it the expectation that your hosts are comfortable with a diapered baby sitting on the same table surface where everyone is eating and then changing the said diaper on carpet, without cover because you don't believe in basic sanitation when it comes to such things.  :o

Sounds like the guest from the depths of e-hell to me.  >:(

When the wife decided to change baby on the carpet, that is when safety trumps etiquette for me. The potential mess/contamination that this action could cause can be a health hazard and a cleaning nightmare if the diaper is full. I would have stopped her and said let me get a towel for that. If she continued to refuse, I would have become quite vocal in that I didn't want baby (biological fluid/matter) on my carpeting.

Of course the long-term answer would be to never invite them to your home again. If your husband wants to socialize with his co-worker, a guy's night out or an afternoon golf game is the answer. If said couple invited you and your husband to their home for dinner, I would refuse the invitation. If they pressed on the reason for the refusal, I would actually be blunt in that I like to discuss things other than breastfeeding when I socialize.

(And for the record, I fully support a mother's right to breastfeed. I just think it can be done in a way that is comfortable for everyone, including baby and mother, without offending everyone within a mile of it.)

Zilla

  • Super Hero!
  • ****
  • Posts: 6506
    • Cooking
Re: Guest Couple's Objectionable Parenting Manners
« Reply #21 on: October 10, 2013, 10:39:21 AM »
At her remark about you being obsessed with breast feeding, I would have simply said, "Oh I apologize, I thought you were discussing it.  Let's make a deal, we won't mention breastfeeding again.  And talk of other matters.  I just read that...."  And if she tries to bring it back to breast feeding, I would ignore it and talk as if it never came up.  Her about nursing covers, you about how lovely the weather is outside wouldn't you agree honey...to your husband.


I am surprised that at 8 months old, the baby was running all over and able to sit up in a chair.  That's quite an amazing baby!  I am a bit confused on the changing table comment, where is she supposed to change the baby?  You don't have a changing table do you?  And out of all the options of a non-baby household, I would prefer the floor instead of the couch or dining room table and insist she uses a towel though.  If she sneers at it, simply say, "It's not a changing pad.  Just a towel.  Thank you for using it!"
« Last Edit: October 10, 2013, 10:41:12 AM by Zilla »

lisen

  • Member
  • **
  • Posts: 115
Re: Guest Couple's Objectionable Parenting Manners
« Reply #22 on: October 10, 2013, 10:43:36 AM »
I am surprised that at 8 months old, the baby was running all over and able to sit up in a chair.  That's quite an amazing baby!  I am a bit confused on the changing table comment, where is she supposed to change the baby?  You don't have a changing table do you?  And out of all the options of a non-baby household, I would prefer the floor instead of the couch or dining room table...

Elise is in the stage I think they call "cruising", where she can stand and move as long as she can hold something.

While I don't have a change table, most parents I know have a plastic pad that they keep in their diaper bags. The parents then put this pad on the floor, a counter, etc. It can be easily wiped down with a cloth. I would have no problem if she put one of these on the floor!

Zilla

  • Super Hero!
  • ****
  • Posts: 6506
    • Cooking
Re: Guest Couple's Objectionable Parenting Manners
« Reply #23 on: October 10, 2013, 10:49:48 AM »
I am surprised that at 8 months old, the baby was running all over and able to sit up in a chair.  That's quite an amazing baby!  I am a bit confused on the changing table comment, where is she supposed to change the baby?  You don't have a changing table do you?  And out of all the options of a non-baby household, I would prefer the floor instead of the couch or dining room table...

Elise is in the stage I think they call "cruising", where she can stand and move as long as she can hold something.

While I don't have a change table, most parents I know have a plastic pad that they keep in their diaper bags. The parents then put this pad on the floor, a counter, etc. It can be easily wiped down with a cloth. I would have no problem if she put one of these on the floor!


Counter would be a huge no no to me but a towel/pad on the floor in an unknown home would be acceptable.  Did you try to offer her a towel and insist on it?  I would.

NyaChan

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 4107
Re: Guest Couple's Objectionable Parenting Manners
« Reply #24 on: October 10, 2013, 10:53:21 AM »
I really wonder if her behavior will be the same if the boss ever invites them over.  That should do interesting things for her husband's career.

pierrotlunaire0

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 4249
  • I'm the cat's aunt!
Re: Guest Couple's Objectionable Parenting Manners
« Reply #25 on: October 10, 2013, 10:56:34 AM »
Was she actually breast-feeding when she was wipping out her breast (more than 4 or 5 times it seems)?
I know nothing about breast-feeding but that sounds weird. (the multiple times in a short span).
It sounds like she was just doing it to show you guys the goods  :o
In that case it would have taken me a while to blurt it out but I think a "Marisa, Elise is not using it or needing it right now, we are not using it, we do know how it works, would you please put it back where it belong now?"

I wondered about that also.  To me it sounds as if she is more interested in exhibiting her breasts than in feeding her child.
I have enough lithium in my medicine cabinet to power three cars across a sizeable desert.  Which makes me officially...Three Cars Crazy

NyaChan

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 4107
Re: Guest Couple's Objectionable Parenting Manners
« Reply #26 on: October 10, 2013, 11:00:42 AM »
Was she actually breast-feeding when she was wipping out her breast (more than 4 or 5 times it seems)?
I know nothing about breast-feeding but that sounds weird. (the multiple times in a short span).
It sounds like she was just doing it to show you guys the goods  :o
In that case it would have taken me a while to blurt it out but I think a "Marisa, Elise is not using it or needing it right now, we are not using it, we do know how it works, would you please put it back where it belong now?"

I wondered about that also.  To me it sounds as if she is more interested in exhibiting her breasts than in feeding her child.

I think she may have also been looking for a reaction to it for her to respond to - she can't burst into a self-righteous fury if no one is objecting to what she is doing.  OP, how could you deny your guest this satisfaction?  :P

Layla Miller

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 2685
  • I know stuff.
Re: Guest Couple's Objectionable Parenting Manners
« Reply #27 on: October 10, 2013, 11:53:44 AM »
Was she actually breast-feeding when she was wipping out her breast (more than 4 or 5 times it seems)?
I know nothing about breast-feeding but that sounds weird. (the multiple times in a short span).
It sounds like she was just doing it to show you guys the goods  :o
In that case it would have taken me a while to blurt it out but I think a "Marisa, Elise is not using it or needing it right now, we are not using it, we do know how it works, would you please put it back where it belong now?"

I wondered about that also.  To me it sounds as if she is more interested in exhibiting her breasts than in feeding her child.

I think she may have also been looking for a reaction to it for her to respond to - she can't burst into a self-righteous fury if no one is objecting to what she is doing.  OP, how could you deny your guest this satisfaction?  :P

That was the impression I got, too--that she was looking to pick a fight and the OP ruined it by not reacting the way she wanted/expected, so she kept upping the ante.  Whether that's the case or not, she sounds absolutely bizarre.  :o
I searched for nothing on the Internet and got 175,000,000 hits.

GlitterIsMyDrug

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 1120
Re: Guest Couple's Objectionable Parenting Manners
« Reply #28 on: October 10, 2013, 12:14:19 PM »
I totally would've popped out my boobs too...as a non-nursing childless woman. Solidarity sister! Especially since it sounds like she wasn't actually nursing the kid, or the kid didn't need/want to nurse then.

I'm more icked at the fact that she thought it was ok to change a diaper while you were all eating dessert. If nature called, would she have dropped trough herself right there? No? Then take the baby elsewhere to change her. Say...the guest bathroom.

alis

  • Member
  • **
  • Posts: 240
Re: Guest Couple's Objectionable Parenting Manners
« Reply #29 on: October 10, 2013, 12:25:52 PM »
I wouldn't invite her either, and I'm breastfeeding right NOW (hands-free, hah!). Even breastfeeding mothers would  be horrified at her golden uterus.