Author Topic: Guest Couple's Objectionable Parenting Manners  (Read 10984 times)

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Twik

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Re: Guest Couple's Objectionable Parenting Manners
« Reply #60 on: October 11, 2013, 09:51:59 AM »
There are some people who adore being martyrs for a cause, even if no one around wants to tie them to a stake. This leads them to pushing the envelop, until someone snaps. Then they can proclaim "Help, I'm being repressed!"
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hobish

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Re: Guest Couple's Objectionable Parenting Manners
« Reply #61 on: October 11, 2013, 11:26:23 AM »

I just turned 40, and my youngest sister is nine years younger than me. My mom nursed her pretty much anywhere, and no one was the wiser. Sis would actually pull a little blanket up over her head and go to town. I don’t remember anyone freaking out or even commenting about it, and I was at an age where that kind of thing would have been excruciatingly embarrassing. I would remember. I never really thought anything about it until I started running onto more and more women like your guest, women who intentionally go out of their way to prove, “I can feed My Baby here and if you don’t like it you are a Horrible Unenlightened Prude!” and heard too many stories of people laughing- laughing! - when they accidentally squirted a total stranger. That’s disgusting! Now I am one of those women who don’t want to see it anywhere, anytime. I probably would have tra-la-la’d along through life without caring one way or another until the milk brigade insisted on shoving it in my face as some kind of political act at every Starbucks and Panera Bread just looking to pick a fight. So … screw it … I’ll pick up the rope.
I would have either A) Whipped mine out at the table, too, with a “Hey, I didn’t know it was going to be that kind of party! Let me get the glitter!” or B) Asked her to leave. I think so, anyway. I've been thinking abou it and it just sounds like such an uncomfortable situation all around I may have just sat there and downed wine waiting for it all to go away.

I don't envy you OP.
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mechtilde

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Re: Guest Couple's Objectionable Parenting Manners
« Reply #62 on: October 11, 2013, 11:34:09 AM »
There are some people who adore being martyrs for a cause, even if no one around wants to tie them to a stake. This leads them to pushing the envelop, until someone snaps. Then they can proclaim "Help, I'm being repressed!"

This. Oh yes. This so very much.
NE England

Minmom3

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Re: Guest Couple's Objectionable Parenting Manners
« Reply #63 on: October 11, 2013, 11:39:25 AM »

clipped
So … screw it … I’ll pick up the rope.
I would have either A) Whipped mine out at the table, too, with a “Hey, I didn’t know it was going to be that kind of party! Let me get the glitter!”
clipped

Snort, giggle, LOLOLOLOL!!  (we need a guffaw emoticon!)
Mother to children and fuzz butts....

TootsNYC

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Re: Guest Couple's Objectionable Parenting Manners
« Reply #64 on: October 11, 2013, 11:57:18 AM »
...all four of my smelly small people . . .


LOL!!

nayberry

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Re: Guest Couple's Objectionable Parenting Manners
« Reply #65 on: October 11, 2013, 12:02:56 PM »

clipped
So … screw it … I’ll pick up the rope.
I would have either A) Whipped mine out at the table, too, with a “Hey, I didn’t know it was going to be that kind of party! Let me get the glitter!”
clipped

Snort, giggle, LOLOLOLOL!!  (we need a guffaw emoticon!)

 ;D ;D ;D

Piratelvr1121

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Re: Guest Couple's Objectionable Parenting Manners
« Reply #66 on: October 11, 2013, 12:04:04 PM »
There are some people who adore being martyrs for a cause, even if no one around wants to tie them to a stake. This leads them to pushing the envelop, until someone snaps. Then they can proclaim "Help, I'm being repressed!"

"Come see the violence inherent in the system!"
Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars.  You have a right to be here. Be cheerful, strive to be happy. -Desiderata

Stirling

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Re: Guest Couple's Objectionable Parenting Manners
« Reply #67 on: October 11, 2013, 01:02:49 PM »
"she proceeded to whip a breast out ... multiples times afterwards during dessert."

I would have been tempted to ask her if she could spare a little for my coffee.  Seriously, this is a situation where you definately don't want to feed the crazy.  I would have sucked it up to get through the evening with as little conflict as possible, and then never see these people again.

I feel sorry for her husband.  I couldn't imagine being married to someone like that. 


LeveeWoman

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Re: Guest Couple's Objectionable Parenting Manners
« Reply #68 on: October 11, 2013, 01:07:47 PM »
There are some people who adore being martyrs for a cause, even if no one around wants to tie them to a stake. This leads them to pushing the envelop, until someone snaps. Then they can proclaim "Help, I'm being repressed!"

"Come see the violence inherent in the system!"

I'm in a bit of a funk, and ya'll have reminded me that some Python just might help.

EllenS

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Re: Guest Couple's Objectionable Parenting Manners
« Reply #69 on: October 11, 2013, 03:23:25 PM »
I think if you want people to accept behavior as normal, then you need to act - well, NORMAL about it.  If you act like a freak, people will think only freaks do it.
I bf'ed two kids till toddlerhood, anywhere and everywhere, using combinations of untucked shirts, cardigans, jackets and Pashminas.  The only thing that gave me away was slurping noises.
 
I would not bf at the dinner table by choice anyway (not comfortable) and certainly not at the home of people I didn't know well. Just like I wouldn't talk on the cellphone at dinner, or try to eat a 3 course meal while driving.

OP, did you know this woman before she had kids? I imagine she has always been obnoxious, and the baby is just a new pole to fly her freak flag from.

lisen

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Re: Guest Couple's Objectionable Parenting Manners
« Reply #70 on: October 11, 2013, 04:10:50 PM »
OP, did you know this woman before she had kids? I imagine she has always been obnoxious, and the baby is just a new pole to fly her freak flag from.

I had only met her a handful of times before the dinner. I was introduced to her once through a mutual friend about 2 years ago. I did not meet her again until her husband starting working at Lucas' company this summer. This was the first time they had ever been to our house and only about the fourth time I had ever had conversation with her. I can't imagine behaving this way in the home of strangers!

delabela

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Re: Guest Couple's Objectionable Parenting Manners
« Reply #71 on: October 11, 2013, 05:21:23 PM »
In all fairness, I know a kabillion women who are nursing or have nursed multiple babies, and I have never run into the "militant" or "in your face" type of person.  The vast majority of us just want to get our kids fed and go on with more interesting things.  As with many issues, it's a tiny fraction of the population that does things in a manner that is inviting a fight.  I also fed my babies where ever they needed to be fed with and without a cover, and never noticed anyone engaging in pearl-clutching, so I think the same is true on the other side of the equation.

If it wasn't bf-ing with this lady, it would have been religion, or politics, or the right way to make pot roast, or whatever. 

Piratelvr1121

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Re: Guest Couple's Objectionable Parenting Manners
« Reply #72 on: October 11, 2013, 05:31:32 PM »
In all fairness, I know a kabillion women who are nursing or have nursed multiple babies, and I have never run into the "militant" or "in your face" type of person.  The vast majority of us just want to get our kids fed and go on with more interesting things.  As with many issues, it's a tiny fraction of the population that does things in a manner that is inviting a fight.  I also fed my babies where ever they needed to be fed with and without a cover, and never noticed anyone engaging in pearl-clutching, so I think the same is true on the other side of the equation.

If it wasn't bf-ing with this lady, it would have been religion, or politics, or the right way to make pot roast, or whatever.

As a hopeful story, one friend, when I was expecting the youngest, asked me if I planned to bf this one.  I was honest and told her no, I'm not.  She said "May I ask why?" and I told her it was because it was rather stressful the first two times around and that with them, once I stopped trying and gave them a bottle I honestly enjoyed the feeding times a lot more.

She said "Oh, okay.  There was a time I would have gotten all militant about it, but I've calmed down about it, now!"

So perhaps this woman will some day lose some steam and be more reasonable about it all and perhaps even cringe when she thinks of how she behaved at this dinner.

We can hope, anyway!
Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars.  You have a right to be here. Be cheerful, strive to be happy. -Desiderata

EllenS

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Re: Guest Couple's Objectionable Parenting Manners
« Reply #73 on: October 11, 2013, 05:46:26 PM »
I suppose it would be truly charitable to chalk her behavior up to an extreme case of fried-brain from hormones and sleep deprivation.

But I've spent the last 6 years surrounded by new parents, and I've never seen it that bad.

dirtyweasel

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Re: Guest Couple's Objectionable Parenting Manners
« Reply #74 on: October 11, 2013, 08:19:05 PM »
In all fairness, I know a kabillion women who are nursing or have nursed multiple babies, and I have never run into the "militant" or "in your face" type of person.  The vast majority of us just want to get our kids fed and go on with more interesting things.  As with many issues, it's a tiny fraction of the population that does things in a manner that is inviting a fight.  I also fed my babies where ever they needed to be fed with and without a cover, and never noticed anyone engaging in pearl-clutching, so I think the same is true on the other side of the equation.

If it wasn't bf-ing with this lady, it would have been religion, or politics, or the right way to make pot roast, or whatever.

Oh definitely.  I have a ton of friends who are parents and the only time I can remember anyone acting militant was when a friend of a friend posted something on Facebook about how the system was repressing her so she went and bought a baby boob hat for her baby to "show them."  Seriously...Google "baby boob hat."  That was the only time I ever remember seeing something like that, but it's interesting because it goes both ways too.

My sister is adamantly childfree and she LOVES to insult people who have children and basically insults their reasons for having children.  Unfortunately, I had to block her and gave her the cut direct for a whole slew of different reasons, but she was pretty much the only person on the other side of the spectrum who was militant like that.  Other then that, I have a few childfree friends who you would never know are childfree until you asked them.