Guest Couple's Objectionable Parenting Manners

[floridamom]

I actually thought about this weekend when we had a brunch at our house. It's a very casual thing, happens about every other weekend, sometimes more sometimes less. People come and go as the please, bring people with them, lots of food, just kind of a chance for everyone to see each other and have some food.

Anyways one of my friends has a 6 month old son, and another has a 3 week old daughter. Well the mom of the 6 month old breastfeeds and the mom of the 3 week old doesn't (or only does sometimes, I'm not totally sure as it isn't my kid or my boobs). So 6 month old, Max, needs to nurse. Mom takes Max, heads to the living room, settles into a chair and does her thing. She's nursed him plenty of times at our place and this is an old hat to her now. Mom of 3 week old, Ellie, finds that Ellie also needs something to eat, so gets out a bottle, sits on the couch on the feeds Ellie. The moms chat, Max's mom gives Ellie's moms some new mom tips/tricks/what have you. Now Max's mom doesn't use a nursing cover. Max tends to pull on them and toss them off and she finds it easier to just get it done without having to fuss with the cover (she used to use covers until he decided they were play toys). Well we have a new person at brunch (ugh, I feel I'll be making an entire post about her), and she's been pretty upset about just about everything so far. Then she happens on the feeding moms. She's offended. Greatly offended. And tells Max's mom "You're just doing that to prove a point. You need to cover up. Really, you know he's gonna get hungry, don't come! Or at least pump that stuff. I hate when people try to prove a point" then to Ellie's mom "You're doing it right". Max's mom (who is one of the classiest people I know) says "Darling, if I wanted to prove a point I would've climbed on top of the table, taken off my top and made a true show of it" and then returns to nursing. Ellie's mom was laughing so hard Ellie's dad had to take over the feeding for fear she'd drop Ellie.

I couldn't help but think, I'd love to lock New Person and OP's dinner guest in a room together. Bet that'd make an excellent reality show. Also, perhaps next time OP's dinner guest will climb on top of the table!

Almost died laughing to Max's mom response!  You must tell us about New Person.  You have piqued my curiousity   She sounds delightful 

[wonderfullyanonymous]

I think the nursing covers can be a choice for the mom. I used a oversized button down shirt. I also think that the approach is what makes the difference between a "look at me, I'm nursing my baby, see my boob being used to nurse my baby," and the "Oh the baby is hungry, I have to feed her."

I had a customer a couple months ago sit on a bench up front and nurse her baby.  She was wearing a sun dress, and nursed no cover. I told her I appreciated her confidence to nurse without a cover. We chatted while she fed the baby. I mostly stood by her to run interference if some "over-the-top" busy body honed in on her.  No one cared. She wasn't making a big deal out of it, so no one else really noticed.

[VorFemme]

With the first, I had a couple of button front shirts & a dress that I wore a lot (had to, the shirts were my military uniform - but I nursed her at the day care in the baby room while wearing them).  The rest of the time, I kept a cotton flannel baby blanket handy - either to protect my clothing while burping her, to cover her (she was born in the spring - by the time she got active enough to object to anything over her head, it was cool enough that she'd put up with it & she weaned in the spring when I ended up in the hospital with the flu for several days). 

With the second, I was a stay at home mom, made special nursing clothes for going OUT in or used center front button items from my maternity wear - the nursing meant that I could use the extra room at chest level for a while.  The patterns and instruction sheets on "how to" set up regular clothes had not been available ten years earlier - and would not have passed muster as allowable alternations to a military uniform, anyway!