Author Topic: How to give cash as a gift?  (Read 2822 times)

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WillyNilly

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Re: How to give cash as a gift?
« Reply #15 on: October 10, 2013, 12:19:10 PM »
Bacon fed knave -- love it! :)


Just be sure to hand the card directly to the bride or the groom, or if they have a special box for them, slip it in there. Don't hand it to another family member on their behalf. Just in case.

Does the HC have time to deal with this in the middle of the celebrations? When I brought a card with cash in it, I kept it with me and then ascertained who the trusted gift collector was (MOB was not to be trusted, apparently! so the bit about not to any old relative is TRUE!) and gave it to that person at the end of the reception as they were moving the gifts to the more secure car which would transport them home.

I never encountered a HC would didn't have the time. Throughout my wedding people came up and handed me plenty of cards. Usually they did it while having a chat with me, but some just came up and quickly said "oh sorry interrupt..." and handed me a card, and I smiled said thank you and spoke with them personally later. During cocktail hour for example, I was holding quite a few cards for a while because people kept handing them to me as I mingled. I was able to put them somewhere secure between cocktail hour and main room. Then once we were in the main room, people came up to DH and I while we were sitting, or gave us cards as we walked around the room.

jmarvellous

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Re: How to give cash as a gift?
« Reply #16 on: October 10, 2013, 01:44:16 PM »
We got checks, not cash (and one gift card to the store where we registered). Even the aunt who gave us $5 or $10 and a note about how she hoped our new restaurant opening went well (I haven't the faintest idea!) gave a check.

We would have liked cash just as much, if not more, but I like the idea of a check if you're not sure you'll be able to hand it directly to the bride or groom, since it's a lot easier for anyone who grabs the card to use cash. :)

A final note about checks: Be sure to put it in the name of someone whose name won't be changing ... just in case, and if you know it. Chances of a hassle are slim, but I've known people who had moderate trouble.

bopper

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Re: How to give cash as a gift?
« Reply #17 on: October 10, 2013, 04:02:59 PM »
Bacon fed knave -- love it! :)


Just be sure to hand the card directly to the bride or the groom, or if they have a special box for them, slip it in there. Don't hand it to another family member on their behalf. Just in case.

Does the HC have time to deal with this in the middle of the celebrations? When I brought a card with cash in it, I kept it with me and then ascertained who the trusted gift collector was (MOB was not to be trusted, apparently! so the bit about not to any old relative is TRUE!) and gave it to that person at the end of the reception as they were moving the gifts to the more secure car which would transport them home.

it is quite normal for the bride to have a fabric purse for just such an occasion...during the reception as one walks around visiting people might give you a check and then you tuck it into this purse.

Arila

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Re: How to give cash as a gift?
« Reply #18 on: October 10, 2013, 04:18:49 PM »
Bacon fed knave -- love it! :)


Just be sure to hand the card directly to the bride or the groom, or if they have a special box for them, slip it in there. Don't hand it to another family member on their behalf. Just in case.

Does the HC have time to deal with this in the middle of the celebrations? When I brought a card with cash in it, I kept it with me and then ascertained who the trusted gift collector was (MOB was not to be trusted, apparently! so the bit about not to any old relative is TRUE!) and gave it to that person at the end of the reception as they were moving the gifts to the more secure car which would transport them home.

it is quite normal for the bride to have a fabric purse for just such an occasion...during the reception as one walks around visiting people might give you a check and then you tuck it into this purse.

Really? I didn't, and had never heard of such a thing until your post. *shrug*


Also, wouldn't that separate the gift from the card (which would help you remember who to thank later)?

MrTango

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Re: How to give cash as a gift?
« Reply #19 on: October 10, 2013, 04:32:48 PM »
We got checks, not cash (and one gift card to the store where we registered). Even the aunt who gave us $5 or $10 and a note about how she hoped our new restaurant opening went well (I haven't the faintest idea!) gave a check.

We would have liked cash just as much, if not more, but I like the idea of a check if you're not sure you'll be able to hand it directly to the bride or groom, since it's a lot easier for anyone who grabs the card to use cash. :)

A final note about checks: Be sure to put it in the name of someone whose name won't be changing ... just in case, and if you know it. Chances of a hassle are slim, but I've known people who had moderate trouble.

For this: I'd suggest asking to sit down with a banker to deposit a bunch of checks and change the name on the account.  Odds are, even a novice personal banker has handled this situation before.

WillyNilly

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Re: How to give cash as a gift?
« Reply #20 on: October 10, 2013, 05:18:31 PM »
Bacon fed knave -- love it! :)


Just be sure to hand the card directly to the bride or the groom, or if they have a special box for them, slip it in there. Don't hand it to another family member on their behalf. Just in case.

Does the HC have time to deal with this in the middle of the celebrations? When I brought a card with cash in it, I kept it with me and then ascertained who the trusted gift collector was (MOB was not to be trusted, apparently! so the bit about not to any old relative is TRUE!) and gave it to that person at the end of the reception as they were moving the gifts to the more secure car which would transport them home.

it is quite normal for the bride to have a fabric purse for just such an occasion...during the reception as one walks around visiting people might give you a check and then you tuck it into this purse.

Really? I didn't, and had never heard of such a thing until your post. *shrug*


Also, wouldn't that separate the gift from the card (which would help you remember who to thank later)?

Well if you are only giving a card with money in it, its not going to get separated as its in one envelope and the whole thing goes into the purse.
Also the idea of bringing a physical object gift to a wedding is a very regional thing. In many places it is simply not done. Money gifts can, and often are, brought, but stuff gifts are sent before or after the wedding to the HC's home (or traditionally the bride's parents house in the case of before the wedding).

CakeEater

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Re: How to give cash as a gift?
« Reply #21 on: October 10, 2013, 05:37:10 PM »
We got checks, not cash (and one gift card to the store where we registered). Even the aunt who gave us $5 or $10 and a note about how she hoped our new restaurant opening went well (I haven't the faintest idea!) gave a check.

We would have liked cash just as much, if not more, but I like the idea of a check if you're not sure you'll be able to hand it directly to the bride or groom, since it's a lot easier for anyone who grabs the card to use cash. :)

A final note about checks: Be sure to put it in the name of someone whose name won't be changing ... just in case, and if you know it. Chances of a hassle are slim, but I've known people who had moderate trouble.

For this: I'd suggest asking to sit down with a banker to deposit a bunch of checks and change the name on the account.  Odds are, even a novice personal banker has handled this situation before.

The problem might be that the couple will retain separate accounts, or the cheque may have been written out to 'Woman Hislastname' when she won't be changing her name.

I found cheques to be a giant pain. Giving cash was perfectly easy.

WillyNilly

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Re: How to give cash as a gift?
« Reply #22 on: October 10, 2013, 05:42:30 PM »
We got checks, not cash (and one gift card to the store where we registered). Even the aunt who gave us $5 or $10 and a note about how she hoped our new restaurant opening went well (I haven't the faintest idea!) gave a check.

We would have liked cash just as much, if not more, but I like the idea of a check if you're not sure you'll be able to hand it directly to the bride or groom, since it's a lot easier for anyone who grabs the card to use cash. :)

A final note about checks: Be sure to put it in the name of someone whose name won't be changing ... just in case, and if you know it. Chances of a hassle are slim, but I've known people who had moderate trouble.

For this: I'd suggest asking to sit down with a banker to deposit a bunch of checks and change the name on the account.  Odds are, even a novice personal banker has handled this situation before.

The problem might be that the couple will retain separate accounts, or the cheque may have been written out to 'Woman Hislastname' when she won't be changing her name.

I found cheques to be a giant pain. Giving cash was perfectly easy.

Even if the woman does change her name, its not always easy. It took 10 weeks for my wedding certificate to come in the mail. And then I had to go to DMV and get a new drivers license, which took a week to come before I could change my name on my bank account.

best to make checks to either the groom's name (you can write the brides name on the memo line if you want) or to "Tom Smith or Mary Jones" so they ccan be deposited in either person's personal account or a joint account.

GlitterIsMyDrug

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Re: How to give cash as a gift?
« Reply #23 on: October 10, 2013, 05:53:30 PM »
We got checks, not cash (and one gift card to the store where we registered). Even the aunt who gave us $5 or $10 and a note about how she hoped our new restaurant opening went well (I haven't the faintest idea!) gave a check.

We would have liked cash just as much, if not more, but I like the idea of a check if you're not sure you'll be able to hand it directly to the bride or groom, since it's a lot easier for anyone who grabs the card to use cash. :)

A final note about checks: Be sure to put it in the name of someone whose name won't be changing ... just in case, and if you know it. Chances of a hassle are slim, but I've known people who had moderate trouble.

For this: I'd suggest asking to sit down with a banker to deposit a bunch of checks and change the name on the account.  Odds are, even a novice personal banker has handled this situation before.

The problem might be that the couple will retain separate accounts, or the cheque may have been written out to 'Woman Hislastname' when she won't be changing her name.

I found cheques to be a giant pain. Giving cash was perfectly easy.

Even if the woman does change her name, its not always easy. It took 10 weeks for my wedding certificate to come in the mail. And then I had to go to DMV and get a new drivers license, which took a week to come before I could change my name on my bank account.

best to make checks to either the groom's name (you can write the brides name on the memo line if you want) or to "Tom Smith or Mary Jones" so they ccan be deposited in either person's personal account or a joint account.

Just to complicate checks a little more...I know of three different fellas who opted to change their last names after getting married. All married to women (one took wife's last name, the other two both wife and husband changed their last name to a new shared last name). It might be becoming more common place.

I wonder, does anyone know if pre-wedding HC could drop by their local branch of their bank (the branch they'd most likely deposit checks), and let maybe a branch manager or someone in charge know what's going down and maybe have a list of possible names that could appear on the check? Sorry, this is a bit off topic, just something I thought of that might be a problem for the two of us (I'm keeping my last name, she's changing her's to mine).

WillyNilly

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Re: How to give cash as a gift?
« Reply #24 on: October 10, 2013, 06:09:31 PM »
Just doing the "or" thing is probably easiest. Name changes don't happen immediately, you need to show proof at the bank. So any "maiden name" so to speak on the check should work.

gellchom

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Re: How to give cash as a gift?
« Reply #25 on: October 11, 2013, 02:44:50 PM »
You know, there's no requirement that your gift come before or at the wedding. 

You say you usually prefer to buy a "thing gift" and send it to the couple.  So go ahead and do that anyway and let it be delivered after the wedding.  Not a thing wrong with that.

And if you can't find registry information, so what?  Choose something nice.  Fight the creeping notion that guests are only supposed to choose gifts that the couple themselves already selected  :) -- it's simply not true.  I wince every time I read the expression "off registry gift" as if it's some sort of odd exception to the norm.

SamiHami

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Re: How to give cash as a gift?
« Reply #26 on: October 11, 2013, 04:01:48 PM »
^^^^^^^^
This, 100%

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JeanFromBNA

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Re: How to give cash as a gift?
« Reply #27 on: October 11, 2013, 04:31:04 PM »
Does the HC have time to deal with this in the middle of the celebrations? When I brought a card with cash in it, I kept it with me and then ascertained who the trusted gift collector was (MOB was not to be trusted, apparently! so the bit about not to any old relative is TRUE!) and gave it to that person at the end of the reception as they were moving the gifts to the more secure car which would transport them home.

I never encountered a HC would didn't have the time. Throughout my wedding people came up and handed me plenty of cards. Usually they did it while having a chat with me, but some just came up and quickly said "oh sorry interrupt..." and handed me a card, and I smiled said thank you and spoke with them personally later. During cocktail hour for example, I was holding quite a few cards for a while because people kept handing them to me as I mingled. I was able to put them somewhere secure between cocktail hour and main room. Then once we were in the main room, people came up to DH and I while we were sitting, or gave us cards as we walked around the room.
Better determine from the planner or the host with whom cards should be left.  I gave an envelope with cash to the bride at the rehearsal dinner, and was horrified to see it left behind at an empty table in a restaurant while she practiced dance steps outside.  I snatched it up and gave it to her mother. 

hobish

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Re: How to give cash as a gift?
« Reply #28 on: October 11, 2013, 04:57:28 PM »
You know, there's no requirement that your gift come before or at the wedding. 

You say you usually prefer to buy a "thing gift" and send it to the couple.  So go ahead and do that anyway and let it be delivered after the wedding.  Not a thing wrong with that.

And if you can't find registry information, so what?  Choose something nice.  Fight the creeping notion that guests are only supposed to choose gifts that the couple themselves already selected  :) -- it's simply not true.  I wince every time I read the expression "off registry gift" as if it's some sort of odd exception to the norm.

Yah, good point there (as usual  :D) although in my area money is usual. Generally there is a pretty bird cage or box specifically for putting cards in. I have not seen many ladies carrying a purse for them, although I have heard of it being done.
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TootsNYC

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Re: How to give cash as a gift?
« Reply #29 on: October 11, 2013, 10:33:45 PM »
Bacon fed knave -- love it! :)


Just be sure to hand the card directly to the bride or the groom, or if they have a special box for them, slip it in there. Don't hand it to another family member on their behalf. Just in case.

Does the HC have time to deal with this in the middle of the celebrations? When I brought a card with cash in it, I kept it with me and then ascertained who the trusted gift collector was (MOB was not to be trusted, apparently! so the bit about not to any old relative is TRUE!) and gave it to that person at the end of the reception as they were moving the gifts to the more secure car which would transport them home.

If there's clearly a trusted gift collector, fine.

But in general, don't just hand it off to anyone and dump the responsibility on them.

In situations in which B&Gs are aware that people will give them cash, they often create some way to deal with it. And it's always better to have them accumulating ALL the cards, instead of the FOB or FOG (trustworthy though they may be) having the chore of holding on to it, passing it off, etc.

They're at the party, too!