Author Topic: Do you provide an "out" for friends targeted by pushy salespeople?  (Read 3672 times)

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shhh its me

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Re: Do you provide an "out" for friends targeted by pushy salespeople?
« Reply #15 on: October 24, 2013, 07:08:25 AM »
  I think if you know them well enough to know they don't like high pressure tactics you can find out if they want to be helped.  "Hey, this subject come up recently what do you think?"

MrTango

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Re: Do you provide an "out" for friends targeted by pushy salespeople?
« Reply #16 on: October 24, 2013, 08:28:53 AM »
It depends on the friend.  I have some friends who would be rather irritated if I did something like that and I have friends who would very much appreciate it.

MariaE

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Re: Do you provide an "out" for friends targeted by pushy salespeople?
« Reply #17 on: October 24, 2013, 08:45:12 AM »
Definitely depends on the context. I have friends who really struggle in this kind of situation, and are grateful when someone steps in, and I have friends who are perfectly capable of telling someone if they're not interested. I might step in anyway if I suspect that it's a con, because I have a rather sensitive scammer-radar.

This is me. I'd love it if my friend stepped in for me. I know I ought to, but it always takes me forever to extract myself from such situations - and I always feel guilty afterwards for having used up so much of their time needlessly... which I know is what they depend on and count on will make me buy something.
 
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Yvaine

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Re: Do you provide an "out" for friends targeted by pushy salespeople?
« Reply #18 on: October 24, 2013, 09:12:21 AM »
I want the inverse--I want people to get out of my way when I'm saying no.

A number of times, I've been in the process of rebuffing a pushy salesperson or other annoying stranger when one of my companions swoops in to "save" me from my "curtness," by engaging the annoyer and gushing over them just as I was getting extricated.

MrTango

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Re: Do you provide an "out" for friends targeted by pushy salespeople?
« Reply #19 on: October 24, 2013, 09:17:50 AM »
I want the inverse--I want people to get out of my way when I'm saying no.

A number of times, I've been in the process of rebuffing a pushy salesperson or other annoying stranger when one of my companions swoops in to "save" me from my "curtness," by engaging the annoyer and gushing over them just as I was getting extricated.

At which point, I'd walk away and abandon that companion to their decision.

cwm

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Re: Do you provide an "out" for friends targeted by pushy salespeople?
« Reply #20 on: October 24, 2013, 09:30:06 AM »
Definitely depends on the context. I have friends who really struggle in this kind of situation, and are grateful when someone steps in, and I have friends who are perfectly capable of telling someone if they're not interested. I might step in anyway if I suspect that it's a con, because I have a rather sensitive scammer-radar.

I have a friend who bought a product for $XXX from a high pressure salesperson out on the streets. She seemed interested and it was a product that she could use, even if it wasn't an absolute need. After we walked away, she was saying that now she didn't have money for her cell phone bill or gas for her car. I was stunned and asked her why she bought it then. She said that she felt really bad for him, having to work on the street, and he was just so nice to her, how could she say no?

I never let pushy salespeople around her anymore, and she's thankful for it. But most friends I'm with will just look pointedly at each other when we walk by those places, and ignore when they try to talk to us.

When sis worked at the mall and I visited her a lot, I took to carrying an empty bottle of Dead Sea Spa lotion with me, just so I could show them all that I had some already when I had to walk by. There's two kiosks at the mall she was at, and the empty was from her work, she had one too. It's the only way I've found to get those people to leave me alone.

Lynn2000

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Re: Do you provide an "out" for friends targeted by pushy salespeople?
« Reply #21 on: October 24, 2013, 10:35:29 AM »
I only step in if I think they are getting steamrolled or someone is trying to slip something past them.  For example, I was at Crabtree & Evelyn with my mom and there were two salesladies handling the transaction.  One was talking nonstop, asking me tons of personal questions while the other was ringing up my mom's purchases.  She tried to slip in an add-on while making it sound like it was gift for spending so much and I knew my mom said yes because she didn't realize that it was going to cost her more money, so I made a point of asking how much it was to signal to her that it wasn't for free.

Now, this I've done--my mom will be buying something and I can tell she didn't hear/pick up on some detail that might make a difference to her, so I'll say, "Sorry, could you repeat that part again, I missed it," or "And how much does this one cost?" or something like that. Then they have to repeat/clarify the point and my mom can make a fully-informed decision. I should add that my mom usually thanks me for doing this later, confirming that she hadn't heard/understood what the salesperson said originally.

I didn't consider this sort of thing under the original question, because I feel like I'm not "saving" my mom from the salesperson or pushing her away from them (verbally), I'm just making sure she's aware of all the information. Malls can be really loud and sometimes the salespeople talk very quickly, and I'll catch a detail like an add-on phrased as a gift that she simply didn't hear. Sometimes she buys the add-on, sometimes she doesn't, but I know she wants to at least know what's going on. I can see now how this is under the same umbrella as the original question, though--I'm sure some people would not appreciate me stepping in to ask a clarifying question about their purchase.

Side note, my mom and I now joke about avoiding the Teavana store at the mall because we always get suckered into buying a lot of expensive loose tea in the hope of replicating the delicious mixture they have out for samples. I am sure some people are successful at that and find it worth it, but my mom and I are not those people--though the sales staff are good at making us think we are for a few minutes! :)
~Lynn2000

Zilla

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Re: Do you provide an "out" for friends targeted by pushy salespeople?
« Reply #22 on: October 24, 2013, 11:06:13 AM »
I would instead say, "I am not interested so I will meet you at X store etc"  That way they can say they are going with you OR stay and try the product.


Just keep it simple.

GlitterIsMyDrug

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Re: Do you provide an "out" for friends targeted by pushy salespeople?
« Reply #23 on: October 24, 2013, 11:35:25 AM »
My best friend is a people pleaser who avoids confronation and seems unable to say the word no. I give her a lot of outs.

For sales people I'll usually say something like "Hey, the movie is starting soon, lets come back later", to which she'll agree and not feel bad about hurting the sales people's feelings. No seriously, she worries about hurting their feelings by saying no (nicely).

For beggars, well she almost never has cash (thankfully! I've been with her as she rooted around in her purse for a dollar because not only can she not say no, she also has no sense of safety), however I will usually just "No, we don't have any spare change", she tends to just ignore them, I look them straight in the eye and say no.

I've known her 18 years, I know her personality, so I don't second guess the out. And her reaction is usually "Thank you!" later.

GlitterIsMyDrug

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Re: Do you provide an "out" for friends targeted by pushy salespeople?
« Reply #24 on: October 24, 2013, 11:37:29 AM »
I want the inverse--I want people to get out of my way when I'm saying no.

A number of times, I've been in the process of rebuffing a pushy salesperson or other annoying stranger when one of my companions swoops in to "save" me from my "curtness," by engaging the annoyer and gushing over them just as I was getting extricated.

Most of my friends know me well enough to "let me work" as it were and won't interfere with me rebuffing a salesperson. But when I have people who want to "save me" or "let the salesman do his job", I take it as an out and leave. He can do his sales pitch to them instead.

Arila

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Re: Do you provide an "out" for friends targeted by pushy salespeople?
« Reply #25 on: October 24, 2013, 01:12:24 PM »
I don't mind playing "bad cop" to strangers, and will give people an out.

I find it harder to do with friends/family. People staying too long at night (when we are guests as well, but expected to stay after to help cleanup etc)? I'm really bad at doing the same thing.

JeanFromBNA

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Re: Do you provide an "out" for friends targeted by pushy salespeople?
« Reply #26 on: October 24, 2013, 01:22:22 PM »
The Dead Sea Salt salespeople are really good.  I'd like to hire them away, but they probably wouldn't make enough money working for me.

poundcake

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Re: Do you provide an "out" for friends targeted by pushy salespeople?
« Reply #27 on: October 24, 2013, 03:59:20 PM »
I provide an "out" for several less assertive family members, partially because when I was younger and less assertive myself, their tendencies to get corralled by pushy people was a very negative experience for me as well. It's become self-preservation for a number of reasons. So as soon as Mom feels like she "needs to be nice" to the guy in the grocery store parking lot with a wheeled cooler full of meat he's trying to sell her, if I see her getting that apologetic smile on her face that means she'll be writing him a check for $200 for the lot after a 20 minute hard luck story, I very quickly interject with a "Mom, we need to go now," with my hand on her arm. Rarely do I address the salesperson. There is only one time my mother was actually interested in the spiel (and I think it WAS the Dead Sea Salt stuff), and I said, "Fine, meet me at ___." Naturally, she ended up spending a bundle on that crap, too.

I see what people are saying about not treating other adults like children, but one time, I DID have to interrupt when Mom started waffling with a firm, "No, Mom. You can't afford that. We need to go now." Because when she spends $200 on a cooler full of meat that some guy has convinced her to buy because his "refrigerator truck broke down and it's all going to go bad and I will lose my job!" and then doesn't have the money for her bills, guess who gets to pay her bills?

Army Mom

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Re: Do you provide an "out" for friends targeted by pushy salespeople?
« Reply #28 on: October 24, 2013, 04:31:52 PM »
Definitely depends on the context. I have friends who really struggle in this kind of situation, and are grateful when someone steps in, and I have friends who are perfectly capable of telling someone if they're not interested. I might step in anyway if I suspect that it's a con, because I have a rather sensitive scammer-radar.

I vote 'depends on context' also.  I've done this rather forcefully when I was with a relative who has dementia.