I sort of don't care what words came out of Bob's mouth.
This is where I'm looking at it.
If I'm sitting around, and three other people are all getting ready, one by one coming and sitting with me, why in the world would I wait until everyone else is finished getting ready before even starting to get ready myself?
She was up and dressed, I could totally see where the other three people thought she was ready to go. The onus is on her to say (to herself or out loud) 'oh! everyone is almost ready, let me get ready too!' I think she was incredibly rude to wait around (tv program or not) until everyone was finished to even start getting ready - no matter how much time it takes her.
And this:
I do wonder if the group's reaction would've been the same if Alice had been getting ready when everyone else was and just happened to take 15 minutes longer than the others. I read the annoyance being less at the "you held us up for 15 minutes" and more at "you sat around watching tv while we got ready and then want to say you need more time?" It showed a lack of respect for everyone else, and I think that's what the rest of the group was reacting to.
Also, Alice is *not* the "more structured, less fluid" person in this scenario. A more structured person would have said, "No, WHEN are we leaving?" I don't know what she is--except perhaps truly passive aggressive (in the scientific sense of the word).
She used her passivity (lack of action) to control or strike back at the group (how much of that was intentional, I don't know, but that's what she did). Was she annoyed because she was up and they weren't, so she made sure they all waited on her later? Was she annoyed that she was being *told* the plans instead of being asked about her opinions or preferences?
I've been on vacation with people whose style differs from mine. It can be uncomfortable at best, and really miserable at worst. I learned my lesson from this. I won't go on vacation with people I don't know well enough to know if it will work. I also won't go unless someone is in charge. It might be me or it might be someone else. But an itinerary needs to be in place before the trip happens. It doesn't have to be to the minute, and it should be flexible.
I have as well--in a situation very like this in some ways. I was up, dressed, wanted to go to a late breakfast (i.e., 9pm); my travelmate intended to sleep until 11am.
it truly did stem from the fact that we vacation differently and did not discuss this.
The way it was different is that our "Alice" didn't send false signals or wait around until everyone else was ready to say, "I don't want to move that fast, I want to take me own sweet time, because I'm on vacation."