Author Topic: Pregnancy question  (Read 2980 times)

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figee

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Pregnancy question
« on: October 13, 2013, 07:24:32 PM »
Asking for my personal trainer and typing on my phone so excuse the typos and autocorrects!  My PT is now four months pregnant. She told me a couple of weeks ago at about three months and has since let other clients know. She is obviously superfit, still teaching all of her classes including cardio and weight training and is taking medical advice and do on about what she can and cannot do.

As an instructor, her body is obviously on display - she shows people how to do exercises and leads routines, as well as being a bit of an inspiration for everyone. When she first told me, we talked about it and I commented that she was going to have to get used to her body being 'public property' in terms of people commenting on it.

Today during our session she said that this was happening and asked if I knew what she could say to shut down commentary. She doesn't want to be rude but wants to shut down the imied judgement.

From what I can tell there are two sources of comments, her family and clients/ customers in the gym. There are also two types of comments. One is the 'should you really be doing that?' and the other is 'wow! I can really tell your pregnant now!/ you've gotten bigger!/ you've popped out!'

Not having been pregnant myself I can't really help but said I'd turn to the brains trust of Ehell. The responses need to be quite quick and polite but not inviting further discussion.  Any suggestions?

katycoo

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Re: Pregnancy question
« Reply #1 on: October 13, 2013, 07:42:36 PM »
Should you really be doing that?  My doctor says its fine.

'Wow! I can really tell your pregnant now!/ you've gotten bigger!/ you've popped out!'  I wouldn't reply at all, maybe smile in acknowledgment as its meant well, but don't engage.

Sharnita

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Re: Pregnancy question
« Reply #2 on: October 13, 2013, 07:45:15 PM »
As a PT, questions like this on the job might be part of the job. She doesn't need to disclose specific information about herself but she could say something like "The medical community agrees that it is perfectly safe for a pregnant woman in hood health to x."

As far as people saying that she really looks pregnant, they can really tell - I would treat it as if they just mentioned how toned she is or how noticeable her muscle definition has become "Thank you" seems good.

doodlemor

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Re: Pregnancy question
« Reply #3 on: October 13, 2013, 07:52:50 PM »
For annoying comments from strangers.........

"Do I know you?"

flickan

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Re: Pregnancy question
« Reply #4 on: October 13, 2013, 07:56:13 PM »
As far as people saying that she really looks pregnant, they can really tell - I would treat it as if they just mentioned how toned she is or how noticeable her muscle definition has become "Thank you" seems good.

I second this.  Any comment about your size should be met with a smile and a "thank you," and that ought to shut them up because surely no one would be so horrible as to suggest that the natural weight gain of pregnancy was at all unusual or surprising.  Surely no one would make such a comment unless they were being encouraging, right? I mean, why not assume it's all for the positive.  Beats telling people to buzz off all the time (which I'd be really tempted to do)

As for asking if you should be doing something.  Of all the people who should be fully capable of knowing what can be done in terms of exercise while pregnant, a personal trainer should be right up there with an expert.  So this question seems even more ridiculous.  I would just say, "Thanks for your concern," and nothing else. 

newbiePA

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Re: Pregnancy question
« Reply #5 on: October 13, 2013, 08:01:03 PM »
For the "should you be doing that" question, the person may be asking honestly.  There is a lot of incorrect information out there about pregnancy and exercise.  So that may be a real opportunity to educate, if she would like. As for the wow! You sure look pregnant statements, just say thank you. It is often said as a compliment/admiration. 
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White Lotus

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Re: Pregnancy question
« Reply #6 on: October 13, 2013, 08:05:02 PM »
"Of course!  Exercise within any limits your doctor sets is great during pregnancy and keeps your body toned for recovering quickly after the baby's born."
"Yep!  Sure have!"
I once worked out with a woman who was a serious athlete.  The biggest she ever got during two successive pregnancies was to look like she'd stuck a volleyball under her Speedo (she didn't even have to buy new suits!), she barely modified her routines, and her body recovered very quickly, pretty much by the time she could start swimming again, even after #2. She had two full-term, perfectly healthy, babies. Exercise during pregnancy pays off.   Not everyone is physically able to do what she did -- I wasn't -- and difficult things do happen, so no blame at all for those who can't, but as far as it is safe for the baby, exercise is good!  I think as part of her job, she would want to communicate this fact to her clients.

kareng57

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Re: Pregnancy question
« Reply #7 on: October 13, 2013, 11:22:26 PM »
Honestly, she's a professional.  I'm wondering why she is asking advice from a client as to how to approach this.

She should be upfront about this (before other clients ask) and be able to assure them that she will be able to fulfill most requirements - perhaps, not all.  And she might perhaps have to take a month of two off, in a few months.

figee

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Re: Pregnancy question
« Reply #8 on: October 13, 2013, 11:45:57 PM »
Honestly, she's a professional.  I'm wondering why she is asking advice from a client as to how to approach this.

She should be upfront about this (before other clients ask) and be able to assure them that she will be able to fulfill most requirements - perhaps, not all.  And she might perhaps have to take a month of two off, in a few months.

Because we chat about it and its something that came up.  It's easy enough to deal with in classes/ in front of classes along the lines of "It's time for abs!  Everyone do it this way!  Anyone with a back injury, variation 1!  Anyone pregnant, like me variation 2!'  It's the comments which come up casually in normal interactions.  Everyone knows that she's pregnant - she's told them in order to manage expectations.  The issue is that, having been told, people are now assuming that they have the right to comment on her body which, given her profession, is on display.

Slartibartfast

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Re: Pregnancy question
« Reply #9 on: October 14, 2013, 12:59:12 AM »
I'd say for the latter type of comments, "You're big now!" can be followed up with a big smile and "Yep, apparently that happens when you're pregnant!"  Honestly, "Thank you!" is a more polite response, but there are times when it's obvious "Thank you" won't cut it - and in those cases, a gentle prod at how absurd it is they're pointing out the pregnancy to the pregnant woman - whom you'd think would have already noticed - can help some kind-but-thoughtless people step back a bit.

Millionaire Maria

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Re: Pregnancy question
« Reply #10 on: October 14, 2013, 01:21:55 AM »
"I know! Isn't it amazing what the human body is capable of, even while pregnant?!" and "I know! Isn't it amazing what the human body is capable of, even while pregnant!? Respectively.
People everywhere enjoy believing in things they know are not true. It spares them the ordeal of thinking for themselves and taking responsibility for what they know. –Brooks Atkinson

MrsJWine

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Re: Pregnancy question
« Reply #11 on: October 14, 2013, 01:39:41 AM »
I would just smile at the ones that comment innocuously on her pregnancy. It might be annoying, especially after the fortieth time you've heard it that day, but it's just what people do. Might as well try to stop the tide with a pile of logs.

I would address, "Should you be doing that?" The more people hear that exercise is good for pregnancy and everything surrounding it, the sooner those misconceptions will go away. And she's in a position where it's already perfectly acceptable for her to teach people a bit about the human body and health. She can still be nice about it, of course, but I would say something like, "As long as your body is already used to the exercise, it's actually good for you to continue to work out--even working out hard. It usually means an easier pregnancy, an easier delivery, and an easier recovery, not to mention all the mental and emotional benefits."


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sweetonsno

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Re: Pregnancy question
« Reply #12 on: October 14, 2013, 01:54:13 AM »
Aw, that's so exciting! I'm amazed by the trainers who keep it up while they are pregnant. Heck, I once took a kickboxing class from a woman who was about eight months pregnant. I'm pretty sure she was from Krypton or something.

For both of these types of questions, I think she should assume that the people are speaking out of good intentions.

For the first, they are of course silly (she's a professional and presumably knows what she's doing), but I'd imagine that they are mostly automatic, like the "Watch out for the car" comments that we sometimes make in parking lots. Simply acknowledging that you've got it under control usually does the trick. I think the idea of simply saying that she's got her doctor's okay is just fine. If she's up for doing a bit more educating (that is her job, after all), I think saying, "Oh, yes, it's fine for me to do squats/inversions/whatever until about month five, but thank you for your concern."

For the second type of question, I'd definitely treat the comments as a compliment. I think it's just a way of people trying to show that they're excited for her. While it's usually not a good idea to mention that someone looks pregnant (just as I don't think it's wise to mention weight gain or loss), if she's mentioned it, I think the comments are most likely supposed to be supportive. I'd see it like complimenting someone on new muscle definition if they've told you that they're trying to tone up.

I think it's pretty cool that you and your trainer talk etiquette.

mich3554

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Re: Pregnancy question
« Reply #13 on: October 14, 2013, 02:20:42 AM »
I had an exercise instructor who was pregnanct and taught classes.  One of the ways she dealt with her changing body was to head people off at the pass and comment before they got a chance.  For instance, during a step class she noted that she was decreasing the height of her step because the pregnancy was affecting her center of gravity/balance.  If we were stretching out, there were certain positions that were not comfortable for her and she mentioned it.

Her openness about her body pretty much kept comments to a minimum.  On her due date, she was still teaching a class.  Someone mentioned it to her and the instructor said that with as many doctors in the club who were members, she felt better being at the club than just rattling around home.

Diane AKA Traska

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Re: Pregnancy question
« Reply #14 on: October 14, 2013, 06:50:42 AM »
My response to the "you're really showing" comments would be "Yeah, I know... it's like there's a whole 'nother person in there!"
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