I had a fellow professional-like server tell me once that you dont want have the tipping system go away bc then servers have no incentive to serve you awesomely.
That's pretty sad. I always give my clients my best because that's what they are paying for, and because I take pride in my work. I'm sorry restaurant servers don't see it that way. But I bet most do and your friend is an exception (or doesn't report tips on their tax return!). Anyway, by that logic, I shouldn't tip anything at all if I am not planning on ever returning to that restaurant, right?
Nope, sorry, the tip isn't a bribe for better service than others are getting (and, I suppose by definition, the extra attention I would be buying for myself would take away from others' service). It's to pay for service. And it just seems to me that the tipping system is an unfair system that underpays some servers, overpays others, confuses and bullies customers, and pretty much brings out the worst in everyone. I'll continue to try to tip generously and fairly, but I sure wish we could dump the tipping system in favor of just paying servers, salon workers, and so forth fairly to do their jobs as we do in most fields.
The tips I resent a bit are the ones for something I don't even want -- like a restroom attendant, an airport van driver who grabs my carryon away from me when I don't need help, or required valet parking in a restaurant lot where I could easily (and more quickly) just park and get the car myself. I still tip them, but I feel kind of trapped.
And I definitely agree about tip jars at locations like those Redneck Gravy listed.