Author Topic: How to disengage from a friendship?  (Read 5272 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

CreteGirl

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 1239
Re: How to disengage from a friendship?
« Reply #30 on: October 17, 2013, 03:34:38 PM »
It will be such a kindness if you say something to her about her drinking.  It is a difficult conversation to have, and that is why so many people just walk the other way. 

Tell her if she stops drinking, she won't be losing alcohol.  She will be gaining a new and beautiful life.  So many problems, even those she does not think are caused by alcohol, will go away.

I know this firsthand, and it is a promise.

Tell her to read "Alcohol Lied to Me" by Craig Beck.  If she believes what she reads 100%, it will be life changing.

oogyda

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 3626
Re: How to disengage from a friendship?
« Reply #31 on: October 17, 2013, 03:54:28 PM »
I do know how hard it seems for you to confront her.  Like others, I don't think there is any way to do it that won't be unpleasant.  I do think it needs to be done. 

Let me share something Oogydh told me when I was struggling to find the words and the way to broach a related issue with my dearest friend.

DH: What's the worst that could happen if you don't speak up?
Me: She could die.
DH: What's the worst that could happen if you do speak up?
Me: I could lose her friendship.
DH: Either way, you don't have friend anymore.  Would you feel worse if you hadn't said anything and she dies? 

Everyone around my friend knew there was an issue, but I was the only one who said anything to her about it.  Knowing that people were aware of her problem was what made her seek treatment. 

All that is a very long winde way to say you have nothing to lose by speaking up.  Especially since it's not a friendship you care to continue ayway.
It's not what we gather along the way that matters.  It's what we scatter.

VorFemme

  • Super Hero!
  • ****
  • Posts: 12581
  • Strolls with scissors! Too tired to run today!
Re: How to disengage from a friendship?
« Reply #32 on: October 17, 2013, 06:37:30 PM »
If she misses being a dancer, is there any way for her to become a judge or a designer of the clothing needed by ballroom dancers?  I knew someone fifteen years ago (my, how time flies) who had "retired" from dancing due to arthritis in her ankles but was making two piece outfits for the women (skirts & bodices) so that they could switch them around to get "new" outfits for various dances or competitions.

She also made them for herself to wear at the judges' table...

If your friend found a way back into what she's missing (the world of ballroom dance) might it give her something else to do?  Or just a new place to hide her booze (in the sewing machine cabinet, under the box of trims, behind the bolt of fabric, etc.)?
Let sleeping dragons be.......morning breath......need I say more?

Wordgeek

  • Global Moderator
  • *****
  • Posts: 2001
Re: How to disengage from a friendship?
« Reply #33 on: October 17, 2013, 07:13:35 PM »
Insofar as this is an etiquette issue, the OP has received adequate advice.