My daughter is on a swim team. She is a competitive swimmer and for the last five years has qualified for the large, multi-day end of the year event. We live in smaller city A, meet is always held an 8 hour drive away ( for us in city A) in city B. City B is quite a bit larger and has a lot more shopping and dining opportunities than city A.
Every year during the second day of competition the team gets together for an informal dinner at a national buffet chain. We have always declined to attend. Our reason, and it may be selfish, is that we are in city B for a limited time and we appreciate good food. We use this time to try new restaurants that we would not otherwise be able to eat at. It is a long 4-5 days, and we treat ourselves with a very nice, quiet meal each night. The days are busy, hot and very noisy and crowded. We've never said this to anyone in the team , just quietly declined to join in the team dinner. We do make the official end of the year team potluck held a few weeks later.
Daughter just hit her teens and has been grumbling about missing this team dinner for a few years. I understand her position, wantin to join her team for dinner, but we have stuck with our quiet family dinners elsewhere. As a young person, I know she does not truly appreciate those dinners, wanting to be with her friends instead.
This year she wants us to just drop her off at the team dinnet( with money to pay of course) and leave her to eat with her friends while we go elsewhere. She is responsible and I have no issues trusting her to eat with the team. Still, would it be rude if us to do so? We haven't really discussed it much yet, but it is important to her. I'm kind of torn etiquette wise. Enforce the family dinnet or let her have an evening with her team, minus her family.