### Author Topic: How to say, “You already got your payment/thank you.” Updt #103!  (Read 24846 times)

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#### perpetua

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##### Re: How to say, “You already got your payment/thank you.”
« Reply #60 on: October 15, 2013, 12:54:46 PM »
The OP's husband works with the man.  In interest of work relations, I think the best course of action is to write it off and not say anything.

Write them a TY note and give them a Starbucks gift card & be done with it.

Just my .02

I think if the OP is going to do that some form of explanation is needed because these people probably have no idea what they've drunk.

As I said in my post unthread, the going rate for petsitting in my part of the world is £10 per visit. The OP's friends have done them a *huge* favour to do this every day for ten days if all the recompense that was offered was 'dinner and a movie'.  So, if all the OP offers as thanks is a Starbucks card, she runs the risk of coming off looking cheap, going on the assumption that the petsitters have no idea they've done anything wrong.

#### fountainof

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##### Re: How to say, “You already got your payment/thank you.”
« Reply #61 on: October 15, 2013, 01:02:46 PM »
The going rate in my area for cats is $15/visit so pet sitting for a week would probably total the cost of the wine anyway, as last vacation we went on I paid the pet sitter$300 but taking anyway seems over the top.  While I probably would help myself to something I know I can replace I wouldn't take/us anything that could seem like it would be needed for a special occasion such as a turkey or a fine bottle of wine.  It is all even worse if they didn't know it was good wine as maybe they didn't appreciate it then.

I know my sister drank a good bottle of wine I bought my parents.  I was annoyed and made a comment to her and she said it was only $25 wine as she buys it and I said it is a different label of that brand and cost me$60 and she had the nerve to argue I was wrong about what I paid.  I was mostly annoyed as she was drinking it to get sloshed and didn't really appreciate it was good wine.
« Last Edit: October 15, 2013, 01:05:00 PM by fountainof »

#### Two Ravens

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##### Re: How to say, “You already got your payment/thank you.”
« Reply #62 on: October 15, 2013, 01:14:32 PM »
Just to address the cost of pet sitting etc. The dinner we planned on taking them out to was Argentine steak place. The food plus alcohol (I was estimating a few rounds of drinks as well) would have been $100 + per couple. I don't want anyone to think we were cheaping out on these people because we just "just" offering dinner. #### WillyNilly • Super Hero! • Posts: 7490 • Mmmmm, food ##### Re: How to say, “You already got your payment/thank you.” « Reply #63 on: October 15, 2013, 01:18:23 PM » The OP's husband works with the man. In interest of work relations, I think the best course of action is to write it off and not say anything. Write them a TY note and give them a Starbucks gift card & be done with it. Just my .02 I think if the OP is going to do that some form of explanation is needed because these people probably have no idea what they've drunk. As I said in my post unthread, the going rate for petsitting in my part of the world is £10 per visit. The OP's friends have done them a *huge* favour to do this every day for ten days if all the recompense that was offered was 'dinner and a movie'. So, if all the OP offers as thanks is a Starbucks card, she runs the risk of coming off looking cheap, going on the assumption that the petsitters have no idea they've done anything wrong. I've had cats for almost 30 years and have exchanged cat sitting with many friends, had people cat sit for me, etc. Do people really expect a cat sitter to come daily? A 10 day trip is 3-5 visits from the cat sitter tops in my experience. A big favor sure, but even at$15 a visit still a far, far cry from $300. I mean maybe if it was a professional service they'd come every day (although I don't see the need) but a friend? #### MindsEye • Hero Member • Posts: 1167 ##### Re: How to say, “You already got your payment/thank you.” « Reply #64 on: October 15, 2013, 01:23:11 PM » I've had cats for almost 30 years and have exchanged cat sitting with many friends, had people cat sit for me, etc. Do people really expect a cat sitter to come daily? I realize that I can't answer for the OP, but.... Yes. My cats eat tinned food (1 tin a day) so someone has to be here to open the cans for them. Also, the litter boxes really ought to be scoped at least once a day. Letting them go multiple days between scooping = eeewww (I think at that point my cats would start to pee elsewhere out of protest) #### Yvaine • Super Hero! • Posts: 9088 ##### Re: How to say, “You already got your payment/thank you.” « Reply #65 on: October 15, 2013, 01:28:10 PM » The OP's husband works with the man. In interest of work relations, I think the best course of action is to write it off and not say anything. Write them a TY note and give them a Starbucks gift card & be done with it. Just my .02 I think if the OP is going to do that some form of explanation is needed because these people probably have no idea what they've drunk. As I said in my post unthread, the going rate for petsitting in my part of the world is £10 per visit. The OP's friends have done them a *huge* favour to do this every day for ten days if all the recompense that was offered was 'dinner and a movie'. So, if all the OP offers as thanks is a Starbucks card, she runs the risk of coming off looking cheap, going on the assumption that the petsitters have no idea they've done anything wrong. I've had cats for almost 30 years and have exchanged cat sitting with many friends, had people cat sit for me, etc. Do people really expect a cat sitter to come daily? A 10 day trip is 3-5 visits from the cat sitter tops in my experience. A big favor sure, but even at$15 a visit still a far, far cry from $300. I mean maybe if it was a professional service they'd come every day (although I don't see the need) but a friend? Yes. When I cat-sat, it was definitely a daily thing (not every day for me in particular; the owner had two people alternating, but someone[/i was there every day). It wasn't just filling the feeder but also scooping the litterbox, checking on the cats' general well-being, giving the cats a little attention, and bringing in the mail daily so the resident would look "still there" to a casual would-be thief. #### perpetua • Hero Member • Posts: 2212 ##### Re: How to say, “You already got your payment/thank you.” « Reply #66 on: October 15, 2013, 01:30:44 PM » Yes, I need people to come in daily. My cats are quite old and they drink a lot. Their water needs changing/topping up every day. They're indoor/outdoor so there's no litter tray and they eat dried food, but they still need someone in daily. If the cats are on wet food then they definitely need feeding daily. I'm not saying the OP is being cheap and I agree that the bottle of wine is an equivalent cost of 10 days worth of petsitting if not a bit more. The problem is that the friends *don't know that*, if we assume that they have no idea of the value of the wine that they've drunk. So, if you suddenly back out of taking them to dinner and a movie and give them a Starbuck's card instead, there's every possibility they're going to think "Wait, we went to their house every day for 10 days and they got us a cup of coffee? That's the last time I do *them* such a big favour!" That's why I think it needs to be explained, awkward as it may be. #### veronaz • Hero Member • Posts: 2225 ##### Re: How to say, “You already got your payment/thank you.” « Reply #67 on: October 15, 2013, 01:50:27 PM » Just to address the cost of pet sitting etc. The dinner we planned on taking them out to was Argentine steak place. The food plus alcohol (I was estimating a few rounds of drinks as well) would have been$100 + per couple. I don't want anyone to think we were cheaping out on these people because we just "just" offering dinner.

OP, I don’t for one second think you are “cheaping out”.  In fact, I feel you went above & beyond as far as graciousness and use of your home/hospitality.

Thank-you note and Starbucks card?  No way.  That would be going way overboard.  Dinner?  No way in ehell.  And I still think you should politely say something to them about it.

Just because the guy works with your husband does not give them the right to rip you off.  And (imo) that is what they did.

#### frogonmytoe

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##### Re: How to say, “You already got your payment/thank you.”
« Reply #68 on: October 15, 2013, 02:01:43 PM »

"Thank you for taking care of kitty of us while we were gone.  We were going to give you wine as a thank you but saw that you enjoyed our Opus One. It's a fine wine.  We hope you enjoyed it.  Thank you again."

I agree with this. If you don't say anything they will think you didn't appreciate their help - this is not accusatory but points out that they've taken generously before you could give, therefore that is their reimbursement. Based on the work relationship, it would be the best route I think!

#### Redneck Gravy

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##### Re: How to say, “You already got your payment/thank you.”
« Reply #69 on: October 15, 2013, 02:04:49 PM »
Is there anyway your hubby can just ask the man why they chose the wine wrapped in tissue paper to drink?

Then I think you have options to consider...did the gf choose the wine, does she know anything about wine and/or manners?  Is he just dense, is she?  Did they just see a bottle of wine wrapped in tissue paper and choose it because it looked different, it's easy to see where there might be a misunderstanding here.  Perhaps they fully intended to replace it and (a) haven't yet, (b) found out what that is going to cost!  If they deliberately drank an expensive bottle of wine thinking you wouldn't mind then I would certainly set them straight and ask for replacement/reimbursement.

I definitely wouldn't jump straight to them reimbursing you, that's just confrontation I don't think your husband is going to want at his office.

Anxious for the update.

#### jedikaiti

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##### Re: How to say, “You already got your payment/thank you.”
« Reply #70 on: October 15, 2013, 02:05:42 PM »
Any update OP?
What part of v_e = \sqrt{\frac{2GM}{r}} don't you understand? It's only rocket science!

"The problem with re-examining your brilliant ideas is that more often than not, you discover they are the intellectual equivalent of saying, 'Hold my beer and watch this!'" - Cindy Couture

#### Redneck Gravy

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##### Re: How to say, “You already got your payment/thank you.”
« Reply #71 on: October 15, 2013, 02:06:35 PM »
POD to frogonmytoe and Isisnin to avoid the confrontation issue

#### fountainof

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##### Re: How to say, “You already got your payment/thank you.”
« Reply #72 on: October 15, 2013, 02:07:21 PM »
Quote
Do people really expect a cat sitter to come daily?
I would expect someone to come twice daily, once in the am for soft food and in the evening to play.  That is why I pay someone, my cats will spray and get really upset if no one visits for a few days.  Plus we keep the litter very clean and it is scooped twice a day.

ETA: I never thought the OP cheap either but now there is a dilemma, do you give something small and not mention the wine, mention the wine or just give the original dinner planned and cut your losses.  To be honest, I may side with the last one and at dinner mention the wine.  IDK, it would be hard to bring it up unless you were in a situation to mention wine.
« Last Edit: October 15, 2013, 02:12:09 PM by fountainof »

#### Yvaine

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##### Re: How to say, “You already got your payment/thank you.”
« Reply #73 on: October 15, 2013, 02:09:29 PM »
Any update OP?

I'm nosy too! This is one of the most interesting etiquette questions we've had on here in a while, to me--awkward situation, how much to say, and how?

#### z_squared82

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##### Re: How to say, “You already got your payment/thank you.”
« Reply #74 on: October 15, 2013, 02:12:02 PM »

"Thank you for taking care of kitty of us while we were gone.  We were going to give you wine as a thank you but saw that you enjoyed our Opus One. It's a fine wine.  We hope you enjoyed it.  Thank you again."

I agree with this. If you don't say anything they will think you didn't appreciate their help - this is not accusatory but points out that they've taken generously before you could give, therefore that is their reimbursement. Based on the work relationship, it would be the best route I think!

Yes, this. And throw in the year. It let's them know you know they drank it, it let's them know you aren't ungrateful for their time, it let's them think (correctly) that that particular wine was worth something more. (As much as I would like to let them know exactly how much the bottle was worth, the work dynamics make that tricky. And if you throw in the year, they can be curious Google-users and find out how much the bottle was worth.)