How to say, “You already got your payment/thank you.” Updt #103!

[marylou]

Definately say something, and I think it should be the Kitty Daddy to coworker:

"Hey dude, thanks for cat sitting but I really gotta tell ya something, just so you know. It's probably my bad for not putting it totally out of sight or leaving a note on it but do you remember that bottle of Opus One that was at the bottom of the pile, wrapped in tissue? Well, Uncle Winesnob gave it to us and we were saving it for our anniversary. I looked into trying to replace it in case he asks us how we liked it but it's around $300. Too rich for my blood".

[LEMon]

I think something needs to be said because otherwise they are going to think you are too cheap to say, 'thank you' properly.

Plus this will color how both you and your DH think of them with out them knowing why.

[turnip]

Personal, and lightweight, thought prompted by this thread: I'm shortly going to spend a fortnight cat-sitting for my brother, while he's on holiday abroad.  Will be doing so at his premises for the duration -- with his living a hundred miles away, and me having no work commitments.  Should he say to me, "make free of contents of the place in my absence, including the wine" -- I'll make sure to ask him if there is any of same, particularly valued, which he'd like me not to touch !

Or don't ask and keep your eyes out for a nice bottle - "Hey, you _said_ I could make myself at home! <burp>"

 

[Zilla]

I agree with others, it needs to be direct.  Left unsaid and it doesn't do anyone any good.  Especially since your dh has to work with them.  A simple head's up will cut out all the wondering.

[Lynn2000]

I like NyaChan's wording best so far. The points I, personally, would want to convey are:
--thanks for all the stuff you did
--the wine was wrapped up and thus in my mind "set aside"
--the wrapped wine was expensive/we were saving it for a special occasion
--partly also my fault for not communicating more clearly
--the wine is your thank you gift... Maybe, "Please consider the wine our gift to you as thanks for your help"?

[CharlieBraun]

If these folks are/were in a wine club with you, they knew darned well what Opus One was/is.

NyChan, as always, nails it.

[VorFemme]

I like NyaChan's wording best so far. The points I, personally, would want to convey are:
--thanks for all the stuff you did
--the wine was wrapped up and thus in my mind "set aside"
--the wrapped wine was expensive/we were saving it for a special occasion
--partly also my fault for not communicating more clearly
--the wine is your thank you gift... Maybe, "Under the circumstances, please consider the wine our gift to you as thanks for your help"?

Made one little change to make sure that the point gets across that the wine that they drank (three bottles in ten days, especially that ONE bottle) was not quite what they had in mind when the words "make yourself at home" were said.

I don't mind house sitters using my bath soap, shampoo, towels, bed (as long as they wash the sheets), dishes, and a reasonable amount of food.  They can read the books on the shelf, watch the movies on the shelf by the entertainment center, and the like.  But stay out of my underwear drawer (even if you wash it), my makeup, jewelry, and any "really personal" stuff (come to think of it - at least some of that stuff is also stored in the underwear drawer - I used to keep my diary there, as a teenager - burned the diary and all potentially embarrassing correspondence also saved in that drawer before getting married).

I'd suggest a lock & key on the bottom doors of the wine cabinet, if the OP and her husband plan to have people stay with the cats again - then leave any "not to be shared" items locked up - to deter any guys from looking further - leave a box of tampons on top....

In fact, if ONLY guys are doing the cat sitting, cutting out some boxes and setting up a stack of tampon boxes in such a way that the bottle is nestled in tampons would probably keep a bottle of wine safe from most men.  Now, if he has a GF over and she needs a tampon, the hidden wine might be found...so it might not be completely, 100% guaranteed to keep anyone from finding that bottle...but it would slow them way, way down....

[sweetonsno]

I like cwm's wording the best so far. It is direct and non-accusatory, and makes a very clear request.

I really do think that this was an accident. Even wine hobbyists may not know Opus One. I sure didn't, and I'm a bit of a wine hobbyist.

I really do think that if you've offered someone access to your cellar, it's important to let them know whether there are limitations (or to move the special wines to a different location). Lots of people really don't know the difference. It's a real shame that this happened. I'd probably cry. Then kick myself.

[Yvaine]

Now, if he has a GF over and she needs a tampon, the hidden wine might be found...so it might not be completely, 100% guaranteed to keep anyone from finding that bottle...but it would slow them way, way down....

Certainly I tend to want those items at the same time...

[VorFemme]

Now, if he has a GF over and she needs a tampon, the hidden wine might be found...so it might not be completely, 100% guaranteed to keep anyone from finding that bottle...but it would slow them way, way down....

Certainly I tend to want those items at the same time...

And a guy whose GF needs the tampons in a hurry might also need some wine - which is why a padlock on the cabinet doors might be a better long term solution. 

[Winterlight]

I think it's better to decide whether you want to pursue some kind of payback, or let it go.

If you confront them and tell them they did something wrong (which I agree they did), you are putting them in a terrible position if you don't give them some way to respond. They will feel like you have this "over their heads" forever, if there is not some way to clear it up.  Unless you intend to cut ties with them permanently, which is what will happen with the situation as described by veronaz.

Just remember, your husband has to work with this person, so cutting them entirely will create awkwardness at work.  If you really don't want payback, I think you need to let it go entirely.

This. I wouldn't invite them to catsit again, but otherwise I'd probably drop it.

[flickan]

I've had cats for almost 30 years and have exchanged cat sitting with many friends, had people cat sit for me, etc. Do people really expect a cat sitter to come daily? A 10 day trip is 3-5 visits from the cat sitter tops in my experience. A big favor sure, but even at $15 a visit still a far, far cry from $300. I mean maybe if it was a professional service they'd come every day (although I don't see the need) but a friend?

I'd never leave mine without someone to check with them daily.  I think it really depends on the cats.  Ours are extremely social.  They have each other but they get lonely without us.  We commonly find them huddled together for comfort if we've gone out at night and don't get back till late.   They expect not to see us during the work hours but they seem nervous when we leave them alone for hours at a time in the evening.

Mine also eat canned food only, never left out, must be feed on time twice a day and water checked.  I'd go crazy thinking they'd be on their own for 24 hours.  I'm also an overprotective cat mom so I have no idea how common this is. 

[Outdoor Girl]

I normally feed my girls twice a day and clean the litterboxes twice a day.  I will leave them on their own for three days, two nights but any longer than that, I get someone to check in on them.  I do put out an extra litterbox when I go away for more than one night and make sure their water bowls are right full, including one big one that holds a gallon or so.  The friend who checks on them will normally come in every day but gives them a little extra food in case she misses a day.  I had the little girl across the street looking after them at one point and came home to an almost empty water dish and the scoop in one of the litterboxes, meaning they could only use one of them.  So I stopped having her over.  I might try again, now that she is a little older.

I did have a cat that needed daily meds at one time.  I was working with a girl who was commuting an hour a day; I asked her if she was interested in living at my place for the week, where her commute would only be 15 minutes.  She took me up on the offer and at one point, her sister stayed, too.

I did tell them to make themselves at home, putting anything I didn't want them to get into in my bedroom.  I also invited them to grab anything they liked off the wine rack, but then, my wine was from a brew your own place.

[Two Ravens]

Unexpected and Conflict-free Resolution!

Husband came home today, bearing wine. One bottle of Opus One and two other decent bottles.

Apparently Friend and GF decided to drink the wine, figuring they would just buy us replacements. They apparently had quite a bit of sticker-shock when it came to the Opus One.

DH said Friend said they figured the wine would be okay to drink since:
1. It was from California (Apparently they thought only French wines were really expensive/good)
2. The label indicated it was a blend. The label says "A Napa Valley Red Wine." I guess they figured an expensive wine would be labeled as a Pinot or Cabernet or whatever.

So basically all is resolved. The wine they gave was a 2009, not a 2007, but we decided not to quibble. (My husband's whole opinion on the matter was "See, I told you we should have drank it when we got it." He wanted to open it right away, rather than save it for sometime special.)

So, all's well that ends well, I guess 

[TootsNYC]

I'm so very glad!!

I bet that sticker shock taught them something, though!

And you'll be taking them out for dinner, right?