Dear Abby: Wrong, yet predictable

[BatCity]

So have you seen today's Dear Abby yet?

http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/

I got to the letter about the "Grandmother' shower" and halfway through found myself thinking she would approve of the idea.  Whaddaya know, I was right! 

[Sigh]

Lara

[mumma to KMC]

What a great idea, not. I had never heard of such a thing and would never dream of such a thing. However, I am pretty sure my mil would go for one.

[sillysquirrel]

Last time I checked it was the parents responsibility to raise children, not grandma's.

[ShadesOfGrey]

Last time I checked it was the parents responsibility to raise children, not grandma's.

not only that, but it's also their responsibility to provide proper equipment to care for said child to anyone that is taking care of their child. 

[ettacat]

Last time I checked it was the parents responsibility to raise children, not grandma's.

You are correct. However, there are grandmothers who actually expect these kinds of showers.

[Alida]

You are correct. However, there are grandmothers who actually expect these kinds of showers.

I had never even HEARD of such a thing!

When DD was born, we received duplicates of a few items - these duplicates went to Grandma and Grandpa's house.  When my brother and his wife had children, these duplicates were put to work again (we all visit my parents a lot).  Now that their third child is a little over a year old, everything is stored again, until our other two brothers get on the ball and finally get married

[Metalchick42]

Grandma shower?!?!?!   

Can I have a belated adopting a fur kid shower?  I want free kibble and snausages.  Sometimes my parents watch/feed and let out their grand dog.  Can they have a grand fur kid shower too?  Can we register at Petco?

[Twik]

I wouldn't say Abby is particularly "wrong" in this case - all she said was she could understand why many grandmothers would like to get baby things, but then added she'd never heard of this type of shower. It certainly wasn't a ringing endorsement.

Why do people seem to feel that a shower is the only way for people to get baby things? It's almost as if there's a law that you can't buy them for yourself, you MUST wangle them out of the people who are less directly related to the baby than you are yourself.

[Sharnita]

I didn't read the letter but my mom's friends had what they called a "grandma" shower. They met for lunch as was their usual but one particular month they brought items for my mom since she was the first grandma in the group (by probably 10 years). Nobody who didn't normally do lunch with that group of friends was invited, there were no games, events, etc. Mom had no idea ahead of time. They gave her things like a bib that said "Grandma Loves Me" for her to keep at her house, a book she could read to the baby, stuff like that. Nothing big, no registry, just tokens.

[ButterflieRJ]

I didn't read the letter but my mom's friends had what they called a "grandma" shower. They met for lunch as was their usual but one particular month they brought items for my mom since she was the first grandma in the group (by probably 10 years). Nobody who didn't normally do lunch with that group of friends was invited, there were no games, events, etc. Mom had no idea ahead of time. They gave her things like a bib that said "Grandma Loves Me" for her to keep at her house, a book she could read to the baby, stuff like that. Nothing big, no registry, just tokens.

THAT is a cute idea!  I also think that doing a "grandma" game at a normal shower would be accepted, or the hostesses giving gramma similiar 'token' items like you described as a "congrats" gift.

But to have an entire shower for grandma?!  ICK!

[Athos_000]

wow! Showers are out of control. I have never even heard of such a thing, and I doubt I would attend one if invited (this from somebody who actually enjoys going to showers lol). I agree with those who said it was the PARENTS job to stock grandma's house in preparation for their offsprings visits.

[sweedetobee]

I go to almost all showers, even if it is the second or third baby, but I draw the line at "Grandma" showers.

I do like the idea of making the grandma feel special, but there are better ways to accomplish that, such as the lunch that one poster described.

[gr_gal1993]

Add me to the group that would skip this one as well.  I tend to avoid these events like the plague anyway, because they do tend to get out of hand very quickly.  You attend a shower and then you end up on the hook for candle parties, MaryKay parties, Tupperwear, etc...  I still remember being invited to 4 showers for one bride and that just drove me bonkers!  Can we just start a boycott of all bridal/baby related showers in order to put an end to this nonsense?   

[goblue2539]

I really thought someone here would be more upset with the first letter, where Abby told the teen that she needed a makeover because people were treating her rudely.  I didn't really read the shower one as an endorsement either, fwiw. 

[Brentwood]

I wouldn't say Abby is particularly "wrong" in this case - all she said was she could understand why many grandmothers would like to get baby things, but then added she'd never heard of this type of shower. It certainly wasn't a ringing endorsement.

Why do people seem to feel that a shower is the only way for people to get baby things? It's almost as if there's a law that you can't buy them for yourself, you MUST wangle them out of the people who are less directly related to the baby than you are yourself.

I don't think she exactly "approved" either - she did say it struck her as "somewhat excessive." All she did say was that if Gramma would be babysitting and couldn't afford the necessary equipment that she could see why there might be a shower.

I have to admit, though, I have not been a fan of Dear Abby's column since Jeanne Phillips took it over from her mother. The original Dear Abby would not have given even watery approval to such an idea.