Author Topic: S/O of Parental Criticism Thread: Were you criticized for being a bluestocking?  (Read 7174 times)

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Miss Misery

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My parents were avid readers---my mother had her detective novels and my dad was always reading Stephen King. It was only a matter of time before I got my grubby little hands on them and started reading King in grade school. I was never tested but I'm pretty sure I've always read well above my grade level.

The only I can think of being criticized for books are when a co-worker commented that I had a different book every time she saw me (and made it sound like a bad thing) and a message board troll who bashed people for reading for enjoyment.  *le gasp!*


I just had to buy some more shelving because my apartment is overflowing with books.  ;D I wouldn't have it any other way.

Twik

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Going back to Scarlett O'Hara for a moment, I wouldn't call her a bluestocking. She was intelligent, even frighteningly smart in a feral sort of street sense, but she wasn't an intellectual. I never noticed her weeping over the destruction of the books by Sherman's March. If I recall, she sort of listened to Ashley talk Books And Music And Big Thoughts with glazed eyes, waiting for him to come back to things she cared about. Like her.
My cousin's memoir of love and loneliness while raising a child with multiple disabilities will be out on Amazon soon! Know the Night, by Maria Mutch, has been called "full of hope, light, and companionship for surviving the small hours of the night."

GlitterIsMyDrug

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Growing up and then later on,  I retreated into books and later video games as they were a way I could 'escape' from reality. Reality wasn't nice. I was expected to be ambitious and want to succeed and have a good job like my younger sisters...but all I wanted to be was happy, because most of the time I wasn't while living with my Mum and stepfather. I was always asked why I hid away in my room, it was to avoid them.

It even got to the point where I tried to kill myself, but it was that year that everything changed. I moved to the big city, DH (who I had met earlier that year ) was VERY pleased I was moving up and we started dating. I managed to get a qualification (no job yet) but I've never been happier.

This is a good reminder to be careful how you measure success. I believe in my post I referred to my career as very successful. By that I don't mean "I'm going to be President of Fortune100 company". My success in my career is that I get paid nicely to do what I love and it supports my family and my lifestyle. My advancement and non-advancement have been very much at my chosing, and I am happy with those choices.

If you have never been happier, then even though you are on a road that is different from that of your sisters, you are on a road to success nonetheless. I wish you continued success!

This! All of this! I am never going to be CEO of a major corporation. In fact if I were I'd probably have the desire to fling myself out the window of my corner office. However I adore what I do. I consider myself incredibly successful at my jobs. Yes, I have multiable jobs, because that's what works for me. It's not traditional, it's not going to make me a millionaire, but it's perfect for me.

My mother often remarks neither Partner nor I really have anywhere to move up in our jobs, and it's true. Partner could move to a bigger company, or take on more specialized projects, but she'll probably never move into management. And I'm self employed. I'm already CEO of the Me Corp! My mom cannot grasp how we can both be happy like this.

I saw a focus stone at church that I had to buy, it says "I have all of the money to do the things I need to do in this moment", which was true, I had a $1.50 to buy the stone!

KenveeB

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Going back to Scarlett O'Hara for a moment, I wouldn't call her a bluestocking. She was intelligent, even frighteningly smart in a feral sort of street sense, but she wasn't an intellectual. I never noticed her weeping over the destruction of the books by Sherman's March. If I recall, she sort of listened to Ashley talk Books And Music And Big Thoughts with glazed eyes, waiting for him to come back to things she cared about. Like her.

I agree. Scarlett is not what I would ever call a bluestocking. It's not a matter of being smart, it's having a love of learning. Scarlett was very practical. She learned things that she needed to learn and didn't care about learning just for the sake of knowledge.

Elfmama

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Going back to Scarlett O'Hara for a moment, I wouldn't call her a bluestocking. She was intelligent, even frighteningly smart in a feral sort of street sense, but she wasn't an intellectual. I never noticed her weeping over the destruction of the books by Sherman's March. If I recall, she sort of listened to Ashley talk Books And Music And Big Thoughts with glazed eyes, waiting for him to come back to things she cared about. Like her.
An opinion I read about a while back posited that Scarlett was a Narcissist.  The only thing that mattered in her world was Scarlett. 

I agree. Scarlett is not what I would ever call a bluestocking. It's not a matter of being smart, it's having a love of learning. Scarlett was very practical. She learned things that she needed to learn and didn't care about learning just for the sake of knowledge.
As a matter of fact, in one of the early scenes in the book where she's talking to the Tarleton twins, it says specifically that she hadn't opened a book since leaving the Female Academy the year before.  (Might have said "willingly opened"; I don't have it in front of me to check.)
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
It's true. Money can't buy happiness.  You have to turn it
into books first.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Venus193

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My mentioning Scarlett was specifically because she was intelligent and annoyed that she was expected to hide it.

The word "willingly" is in that sentence:

http://gutenberg.net.au/ebooks02/0200161.txt

Elfmama

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When I was in elementary school I was always reading at least four years above average levels.  My vocabulary was always more sophisticated than than that of 95% of my classmates.  I was always being told "Don't use words nobody else knows" by classmates whose grades were below mine.

The messages that Scarlett O'Hara got came later.

I never bought what this notion was selling.  A man who falls for a dumb act can't be very intelligent or confident and that is not a man worthy of my respect or my time.

What truly blows my mind is that so many women fall for this.  I wonder what happens to them in the long term?  Do they play dumb until after the officiant says "I now pronounce you husband and wife" and what happens then or do they continue to play dumb to appease the weak self-esteem of their husbands (or others)?  Do any of you know an example of this?
Well, there was a similar conversation in GWTW.  And Mammy said "Men 'spects dey wives to have sense."
and here's the exact passage:

"Why is it a girl has to be so silly to catch a husband?" 

"Ah specs it's kase gempmums doan know whut dey wants.  Dey jes' knows whut dey
thinks dey wants.  An' givin' dem whut dey thinks dey wants saves a pile of mizry
an' bein' a ole maid.  An' dey thinks dey wants mousy lil gals wid bird's tastes an'
no sense at all.  It doan make a gempmum feel lak mahyin' a lady ef he suspicions
she got mo' sense dan he has."

"Don't you suppose men get surprised after they're married to find that their wives
do have sense?"

"Well, it's too late den.  Dey's already mahied.  'Sides, gempmums specs dey wives
ter have sense."

« Last Edit: October 24, 2013, 08:10:31 PM by Elfmama »
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
It's true. Money can't buy happiness.  You have to turn it
into books first.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Venus193

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I remember it well.  I've read this book at least six times, each time being glad I wasn't born in 1845.