General Etiquette > All In A Day's Work

Thanks for the "bonus," but no thanks

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Tabby Uprising:

--- Quote from: JenJay on October 16, 2013, 06:44:12 PM ---A $50 lipstick? A $75 pair of knit gloves? I just skimmed the first page of the "under $100" section and I could definitely see myself going "None of this works for me."

I agree with those saying this isn't about the card, it's about feeling taken advantage of and unappreciated and you're not as over that as you thought. Maybe you see this gift card as less "Buy yourself something nice." and more "We don't know you well enough to chose an appropriate gesture, but this place is posh so here."

I vote that you set the card aside for a couple of weeks or however long it takes until you can think about it without feeling upset. Then put it in your purse and cruise through next time you're in the area. Go with the intention that you probably won't find anything yet, but you'll look anyway. Eventually you'll either find something you like for under $100 (post Xmas sale?) or decide to treat yourself to something more expensive but hey, it'll only cost you the difference, so what the heck. What I would not do is buy something now that will just upset you all over again whenever you see the stupid thing.

--- End quote ---

Yeah. 

 I see where you're coming from, Toots.  I looked at the list and I do wear makeup so I could get a lipstick, nail polish or one of the fragrance sets, but it doesn't feel like a $100 gift.  I'm sure the quality is supposed to be remarkable, but is a $75 tube of lipstick going to cause people to mistake me for a movie star?  Will it feel 50x better on my lips than the normal $10 (or whatever) brand I use?  The high prices correlate to quality and brand prestige, but it still feels like my $100 value has been diminished.

Your company has a crisis. You pour blood, sweat and tears into miraculously saving the day and you get... a tube of lipstick.  Wheeeeee.  You went above and beyond for the company, you were stressed and frazzled, worked night and day without seeing your family to fix their problem and ... lipstick.

 $100 would go further at so many other stores or restaurants.  $100 cash or check and I could maximize the value of the gift.  But at an exceptionally high end store I get lipstick.  Or a small box of truffles.  Or a pair of gloves with faux nail polish painted on.

It's one thing if it's a gift from a friend, but when it's a company rewarding me with a bonus because of my extraordinary work, I feel the organization should strive for a better sense of what will be appreciated/recognized.  And yes, some people may have loved the opportunity to get $100 off a major purchase at a high end store or eat a box of $99 truffles.  But every organization I have worked for typically went ahead and gave employees a check as a bonus (with taxes already taken out so you'd get the full $100 value) because that's what the overwhelming majority of our employees wanted the most.  And since our objective with the bonus was to motivate and recognize them for good work, we wanted to be sure the bonus was something that they saw value in, not what the corporation thought they should. 

TootsNYC:

--- Quote from: Goosey on October 16, 2013, 05:53:53 PM ---
I hope that you'll be able to put this gift into perspective soon. I think you're so worked up about whatever the work issues are that earned you this gift that you aren't able to look at it in any kind of positive light.

--- End quote ---


I think this is the crux of the situation.

I think I'm just going to bury it somewhere and see if I can regain any kind of perspective before I try to actually do anything with it.



--- Quote from: JenJay on October 16, 2013, 06:44:12 PM ---
I agree with those saying this isn't about the card, it's about feeling taken advantage of and unappreciated and you're not as over that as you thought. Maybe you see this gift card as less "Buy yourself something nice." and more "We don't know you well enough to chose an appropriate gesture, but this place is posh so here."

[\quote]

Yeah, you're right about not being over it.

I think it's less the "we don't know you," because I didn't expect something truly personal. But I do think it's "this place is posh" and "we didn't really think about the idea that $100 doesn't go that far here." I was initially sort of impressed--$100! But that's a tank top. True, a tank top I didn't have before, but...



--- Quote ---...put it in your purse and cruise through next time you're in the area. Go with the intention that you probably won't find anything yet, but you'll look anyway.

--- End quote ---

This is sort of an interesting idea.
     What's turned me off from it so far is that I'll be going in the story saying, "What's the cheapest thing here?" And that everything I pick up to look at is going to have a 90% chance of not being at all an option. (Goosey said "hundreds of items"--the thing is, there are SIX belts that are under $150 and 135 that are more than that. That tells you something about percentages, and how much of the time on the visit is going to be spent "protecting" myself from the prices. It just doesn't feel indulgent. And I guess part of me thinks I really deserve to be indulged. (It was a HUGE rabbit, and a TINY hat!)
    But if I get into the "what the heck, maybe, I can look, who knows" mindset, it might be possible.
   And if I start to internalize the idea that I don't need to spend it at all--that I can figure out something later.


--- Quote ---What I would not do is buy something now that will just upset you all over again whenever you see the stupid thing.

--- End quote ---

Here is wisdom.

And thanks for the reminder about going to the store itself, since the selection may be very different. Later, when I've calmed down. And when I can view it as "found money."
--- End quote ---

TootsNYC:

--- Quote from: Tabby Uprising on October 16, 2013, 07:10:43 PM ---Your company has a crisis. You pour blood, sweat and tears into miraculously saving the day and you get... a tube of lipstick.  Wheeeeee.  You went above and beyond for the company, you were stressed and frazzled, worked night and day without seeing your family to fix their problem and ... lipstick.

--- End quote ---

Tabby Uprising, thank you so much for articulating why this felt so hurtful suddenly.

Maybe I'll get to the point where I'm over the initial anger so that I can go in an buy a tank top, and then say, "This beautifully fitting tank top in the incredible fabric is my "Rabbit from a Hat" tank top. But right now, none of the things that fit that $100 are anything that would feel commemorative.

Everyone else has been wise, even those of you who said, "it was a gift, don't get greedy and control-y."

Thanks, all.

JoieGirl7:
They sell Tom's (the shoes) for under $100--some really nice ones.  Not really the season for them, but they didn't seem to be as overpriced as everything else there.

My uncle gave me a gift certificate for $200 for live Maine lobsters.  He paid $100 for it--it was a Groupon, I think.

It really didn't have $100 of purchasing power because it couldn't be used on one of their many specials.  The only things it could be used on were the very expensive full priced items.

In trying to get something, it was starting to boil down to me having to use some of my own money to get this gift.  But, I was determined not to do that.

In the end, what I got was 6 medium lobster tails.  It was just under $200 with shipping.  So, for the $100 my uncle paid, I got some very overpriced lobster tails.

They were really good though.

I know what you mean though about being given what seems on the surface to be a really generous gift and it turning out to be more of a problem than anything else.

I am hoping for gift certificates to West Elm next year!   ;)

cass2591:
Thread locked because the OP has resolved the issue for herself and with time hopefully will realize that her bosses were trying to be thoughtful rather than making her life more difficult.

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