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"Gifted" Child - Engage or Not? - Horn O'Plenty Play Update (Reply #447)

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This past weekend the thrift store where I volunteer had a pre-Halloween function for the volunteer employees and their families.  It was held in a recreation center with stadium food, beverages, sweets, etc.  The activities for the children were a ring toss, spooky maze, etc.  The children really seemed to enjoy the event.

Josh (age 10) is the son to one of the volunteers, Jessie.  Connor (age 9) is the son to the store manager, Carol.  During my time volunteering, Carol has been known to talk at length about how gifted and smart Connor is.  None of the workers can attest to this as we have never met Connor.  According to Carol, Connor could walk at 6 months and could sit in a room and quietly read the dictionary at 3 years old, complete with glasses and a pencil outlining certain words.  I have to tell you, I laughed inwardly when she said this because I pictured this toddler looking quite academic in a blazer with suede elbow patches.

So, the Halloween event is going along well. I am standing in line for a taffy apple behind Carol and Connor.  Jessie and Josh are in front of them.  Josh told Jessie he wanted to go through the spooky maze.  Connor crouches down like a cat with its back raised and teeth bared and began clawing at Josh’s leg.  We thought it was funny at first, but then Connor meows loudly and says, “you will not come out alive”.  Carol laughs it off, saying she told us he was gifted.  Jessie and I smile.  Connor comes out of feline mode, stands up, looks around and says, “I believe everyone in this room is fat”.  Carol tells Connor to pipe down.  Connor says, “fat like you Carol”, then punches her in her stomach.  Jessie sends Josh off to another table.  Carol tells Connor to pipe down again.  Connor takes a sweeping bow his with arm behind his back and says, “my apologies, dear woman”.  Carol turned to me and said, “see, he’s gifted with acting”.  She asked if I thought Connor was gifted and smart.  I told her I didn’t know how to measure that in a child, “but he’s something”.  I honestly didn’t know what else to say.  Connor looked at me and “meowed”.

Carol asked Jessie if Josh could come to their house to hang out with Connor.  Jessie said she will get back to her.  Carol will ask repeatedly, we know this.  Now, Jessie feels she is in a bind and wants to know what she can tell Carol to stop her from asking.  Does Jessie use a tub of bean dip or just say she is not comfortable with Josh spending time in their house with Connor?

One other thing happened – Carol’s husband comes over and tells Carol to get a move on, she has spent too much time in the food line, as usual.  Connor laughs and he and his dad walk off.

Going by what his father said to his mother, there's no wonder Connor has little respect for his mother.

That said, I have no advice for Jessie other than to keep a 55-gallon drum of bean dip at hand. Since she is the boss, Carol likely wouldn't take it well if Carol said she didn't want Josh around the little monster Connor.

Well, Jessie could always say that Josh isn't interested, which is probably the truth. And then there's the "I don't want to push him into things he doesn't want to do."

You know, my niece was ahead on most of her milestones. Sis downplays this like mad. I'm automatically skeptical of anyone who goes on and on about how "special" and "gifted" their children are. And having known many gifted children, I've never seen a single one of them act like a cat because they were gifted in acting.


--- Quote from: LeveeWoman on October 21, 2013, 09:46:02 AM ---Going by what his father said to his mother, there's no wonder Connor has little respect for his mother.

--- End quote ---

I don't think we can pin this all on the father either though.  Carol apparently encourages Connor's behavior by telling him he is smart/cute/gifted/special when in reality he is a rude little boy. 

Like cwm, I would say that Josh has a full slate of friends.  And even if Carol is the boss, Jessie is a volunteer.  What could Carol do to her?


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