General Etiquette > Life...in general

"Gifted" Child - Engage or Not? - Horn O'Plenty Play Update (Reply #447)

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cicero:
Ya know - I don't know this kid, but it *is* possible that he *was* reading at age three (i know more than one person who taught themselves to read by age three, and I don't mean memorizing Dr. Suess, i mean reading books.

and the fact that he is acting like a doofus, doesn't mean he *isn't* gifted. (case in point - sheldon cooper on TBBT, and while it's not a real person, i think we all know one or more Sheldon Cooper types IRL).

(Sorry, but your tone is sounding a bit condescending and while i understand where you're coming from, it is possible that the kid *is* gifted, along with idiotic parents...)

But as to what Jesse can do at this point? Seriously, by age 10 I would let my son choose his own friends and not have parent-initiated play dates. so she can either majorly beandip, or say "oh, Josh is his own social director, i stopped making play dates for him last year.".

Or evil Cicero would say "Oh, i don't think that would work, after all Conner is sooooo much more advanced than Josh, i'm afraid he would be too bored playing *simple* games and holding *regular* conversation. but i hear that MENSA is looking for new members. why don't you try them?"

LeveeWoman:

--- Quote from: TurtleDove on October 21, 2013, 10:50:49 AM ---
--- Quote from: LeveeWoman on October 21, 2013, 10:46:02 AM ---Going by what his father said to his mother, there's no wonder Connor has little respect for his mother.

--- End quote ---

I don't think we can pin this all on the father either though.  Carol apparently encourages Connor's behavior by telling him he is smart/cute/gifted/special when in reality he is a rude little boy.

--- End quote ---

Yep. Carol needs to stop makeing excuses for him.

lowspark:
Based on the behavior you witnessed, it's impossible to say if Connor is "gifted" or not. It is possible, however, to conclude that Connor is disrespectful and that his mother has not established appropriate boundaries for his behavior. It seems to me that Carol is using the time-honored "my son is gifted so we don't want to stifle him" philosophy to raise Connor. In addition to which,  it's not surprising that Connor is immitating the rude bahavior that Carol's husband is apparently modeling.

Jessie can bean dip but if Carol is persistent, then Jessie would probably be best served by nipping it in the bud. Maybe something like, "Sorry, but with Josh's hectic schedule of scouts, little league and homework, we simply don't have time for play dates."

Lynn2000:
Yipe, that all sounds really weird. Some gifted kids do act out because they're bored, especially in class. But no matter Connor's IQ, it sounds like he's not being taught how to behave appropriately in public or to treat his mother with respect, and I wouldn't want my son to spend much time with him, either.

I think Jessie needs to be firm in her boundaries. I like apologetic, but busy.

Twik:
I remember many years ago when there was a trend for genetic banks for "gifted intellectuals" like Nobel Prize winners, so you could be artificially inseminated and your child would be, automatically, a genius.

I remember that there was a woman who, for a few years, would trot her child out to show just how brilliant he was. How his IQ was double hers. How every little thing he did showed his budding genius. Strangely, it didn't seem so obvious to the audience. What she saw as a budding Mozart the rest of the audience saw as a restless three-year-old banging randomly on piano keys. After the child hit about five, he didn't get on TV much any more. I hope he grew up without being crushed by his mother's expectations.

It sounds like the same thing is going on here. Carol (and her husband, perhaps) has decided Connor is brilliant, and everything he does, like getting up in the morning, is evidence of that. I suspect he's learned to play "eccentric genius unfettered by social conventions" to keep up the charade, since this is easier than actually, say, writing scientific papers by age 10. Of course, picking up his father's contempt for Carol makes it even more toxic. I feel rather sorry for Connor.

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