Halloween Party Guest Accommodations

[Amanita]

With warning, I think creative people might take that as a challenge, either time to do something different or "how can I do this character without a mask?" But that should go out with the original invitations.

I consider myself a creative person, and I would NOT enjoy reframing  a restriction as a "challenge", especially if it were something like "No masks or full face makeup" at a halloween party. I like to make my costumes as accurate or true to the character as possible, and don't like things which take away from that. Sure, I can replace a sharp sword with a realistic but blunt replica, but if the character has a non-human skin color which requires painting, or wears headgear like a mask or helmet, I'm not going to appreciate having to edit those things out.
 I think the phobia mentioned in the OP is for the person who has it to deal with, it's unreasonable to expect everyone else to conform, and foam-pad things.

[*inviteseller]

I don't think it is fair to change the tone of a Halloween party, where people have fun dressing up, to accommodate one guests phobia's.  You can tell her "Hey, found out there will be some costumes with masks." and let her make her own decision.  I also would not tell her only one is doing it because others may see something between now and the party and decide to wear it without disclosing it.  We all have different things that give us the creeps, but it is on us to control or avoid not anyone around us.  I detest clowns so I avoid places I know they will be and if I am somewhere and there is one (friend had one come to entertain at her kids bd party) I just walk away.

[blarg314]

I think that if you're phobic about masks and full face makeup, Hallowe'en parties probably aren't a place for you. It's like going to the circus when you have a clown phobia.

[bopper]

This is a Halloween Party for adults, so there should be no restrictions.
If this was a party for Suzy, then it would be okay to be restrictions.

I would tell Suzy that you heard at least one guest was going to be wearing a full face mask and that you want her to make her own decision and you will understand either way.

[Thipu1]

Keep the costumes PG 13, please.

That's the only 'restriction' I would suggest.

[cwm]

I agree with PPs, it is not your duty as host to cater to Suzy's phobia unless it's a party hosted specifically for Suzy. Since it's an annual party, I would tell Suzy that as far as you know Curtis is the only one coming in a half mask, but you haven't really restricted it for anyone. Let her decide if she's comfortable coming or not.

Or, there's another option for her, if you're okay with it. Say everyone shows up and there's no masks at all. Then would you be able to shoot her a text and let her know that so she can decide at that point to show up? If it's a party that goes on for several hours and people are freely mingling, it won't matter too much if she's late, or if she leaves early because she gets spooked, right? Yes, it's above and beyond the standard host duties, but that way you're not setting policy on costume and you're still trying to include Suzy.

This year, I'm dressed as a character from Doctor Who. Human, in a dress and a jacket. Nothing on my head at all. But if I got a message from the host saying that nobody could wear face masks or prosthetics I'd probably be tempted not to go to that party. But that's just me personally, I can't speak on that for anyone else.

[DavidH]

If Halloween in general makes her uncomfortable and she is afraid of masks and full face makeup, then a Halloween party is really not the place for her.  This is setting up a problem, and I have to say borders on the SS behavior of you all need to adapt your event to fit my requirement. 

As a host, at the time you invite people, you can specify any dress code you want; but you need to accept that it may affect attendance.  Making it more restrictive later on is not very nice since it can make someone's previous choice of outfit no longer usable.  I think reasonable restrictions would be, suitable for children to see, no nudity, no blood, superhero themed, etc. 

[rose red]

You warned her about Curtis, but it's possible that others will come up with masked costumes at the last minute.  I think suggesting to her the earlier plan may be best.  The plan where you call her once all the guests arrive, perhaps tell her about the costumes, and she can decide if she can deal.

[acicularis]

Halloween gives her the creeps, she's afraid of masks and full make-up, but she wants to come to a Halloween party as long as no one wears masks and make up? I'm sorry, but that's just plain silly. I'm sorry if she feels left out of the fun, but it doesn't sound like a Halloween party is any place for her. There's no way of knowing if some guests will end up wearing masks or make-up, and it shouldn't really be your job to have to worry that she's going to freak out because of it.

Let her know that you know at least one person might be wearing a mask after all, and let her decide if she wants to come. If she comes and gets upset by people's costumes, that's really a problem of her own making.

[Zilla]

No, generally you can't place restrictions.  Unless it's a kids party for small kids.  Then you can make a suggestion of Please no scary, bloody or gory costumes.


But for adults?  It would be far kinder and more polite to tell her that guests might wear costumes/masks and leave it up to her.  I would also tell her not to try and tell anyone at the party to take off their masks/costumes either. (been there, seen that...   )

[VorFemme]

Halloween gives her the creeps, she's afraid of masks and full make-up, but she wants to come to a Halloween party as long as no one wears masks and make up? I'm sorry, but that's just plain silly. I'm sorry if she feels left out of the fun, but it doesn't sound like a Halloween party is any place for her. There's no way of knowing if some guests will end up wearing masks or make-up, and it shouldn't really be your job to have to worry that she's going to freak out because of it.

Let her know that you know at least one person might be wearing a mask after all, and let her decide if she wants to come. If she comes and gets upset by people's costumes, that's really a problem of her own making.

This does not compute.

I will now wash off the gold makeup from my Data costume and switch to a Betan costume (full human, requires sandals & a sarong because it is a hot planet - Lois Bujold's Vorkosigan series rather than Star Trek or Star Wars).

Logically, a costume party is going to have people wearing masks and makeup.  NOT wearing masks and or makeup makes it that much harder to put together a GOOD costume. 

I'm afraid that the mask & makeup phobic really need to throw their OWN Halloween parties - with apples, pumpkins, and candy for refreshments - but NO costumes.  Maybe a hayride & a maze as entertainment....?

[The TARDIS]

That is coming off as very Special Snowflake of her, and it feeds right into my pet peeve of "because one person cannot/will not/is offended when people do (something) then no one else can do it either."

Suzy is placing herself in the position to be upset. It is one thing if she was hosting, but it is another for her to act as though you will police costumes just for her.

If it was a latex allergy and she was afraid of a reaction from touching a mask or part of a costume such as a glove, wings, tails or shoes, that is an entirely different matter and I would warn guests to be careful none of the latex parts of their costume touch her.

[rose red]

I don't think she's being SS since she's not demanding anything.  It's wrong of her to assume nobody will wear a mask because nobody did last year, but that's not SS as long as she accepts the consequences after she's been warned.

[quietgirl]

That is coming off as very Special Snowflake of her, and it feeds right into my pet peeve of "because one person cannot/will not/is offended when people do (something) then no one else can do it either."

To be very clear, Suzy did not ask for any special consideration.  She is not a Special Snowflake in any sense of the word.  I wondered if I should ask the other guests not to wear masks.  That thought would never have occurred to her. 

Update:  Party was last night.  Great time was had by all.  No one wore a mask after all.  (Curtis's costume was lost in the mail.)

[LadyL]

I would not enable someone's phobia at the expense of all my other guests, any more than I would make a cocktail party totally dry because of one alcoholic.