General Etiquette > Family and Children

I don't wish to share that information, thank you.

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I have a son who is almost 4. I am starting to get frequent comments about why he is not in preschool (which pretty much all children are in at that age here). What do I say to people (strangers or people who aren't close) who ask this? I don't wish to share with them at this time why he is not. Do I just say "we have future plans for his education" or something a bit fluffy like that? I know people are just trying to be polite and make small talk.

is he starting school at any time in the future? because you could say "he will be starting in Month"

are you homeschooling? you could say that.

If it's just people trying to make small talk, then give a non answer and redirect: "I know, he's at that age isn't he? oh, did i tell you he started [doing somethign silly/amazing/smart]"

Thank you. I might use redirection then at this time. Truth is, he has autism and we're on a waiting list for a program that will provide him special care. I'm just not comfortable talking about it yet with people as I get a lot of sympathy and "oh nos" or "gee, he doesn't look like it"(?) and I'm just not ready for those conversations.

Outdoor Girl:
How about, 'He's on a waiting list for our preferred school?'

It's true but vague.

My eldest is autistic but was actually officially diagnosed pretty late (11). She is high functioning so we get all the comments about how she doesn't look it and other lovely ignorant things, so I know exactly where you are coming from.

I would try a bright "Not yet!" then change the subject.


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