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Author Topic: What to do when an RSVP only asks for confirmations?  (Read 3720 times)

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WolfWay

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Re: What to do when an RSVP only asks for confirmations?
« Reply #15 on: October 28, 2013, 11:03:26 PM »
Thanks everyone!  :)

I get the impression it was more of a courtesy invitation than an actual expectation I would attend. I'll send them an email congratulating them and making it clear I will be unable to attend.
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Aluminum

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Re: What to do when an RSVP only asks for confirmations?
« Reply #16 on: October 29, 2013, 02:52:47 AM »
A few years ago, I had the reverse of this situation.  My aunt and uncle's 50th was being hosted at a restaurant, and the invite had "RSVP Regrets Only".  I called to decline (in all honesty, very close to the RSVP date--the day before or day of, iirc; it just fully slipped my mind as it was a call versus a formal RSVP card or the oh-so-convenient email response!), and got an awkward 15 minute convo with my aunt where she fretted that she hadn't heard from my folks or my sibs.  I did try to point out that based on the invites, that was good!  They were going to the party! ...but it didn't seem to sink in.  After hanging up, I immediately called my mum and sis, and told them they had to RSVP ASAP, much to their confusion!  :P

lowspark

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Re: What to do when an RSVP only asks for confirmations?
« Reply #17 on: October 29, 2013, 07:36:58 AM »
That's exactly why I've never understood the "regrets only" request for replies. I've given far too many parties where I've cleraly stated in the invitation that I need replies either way, and still don't get any reply from some, to think it's a good idea to simply assume that if someone doesn't reply they are coming. It's much more likely that if they don't reply, they are not coming but even that is an assumption that could backfire.

If it's critical to know the exact number, it's best to ask for people to reply either way by a deadline date, and it's almost always necessary to follow up with those who don't reply by the deadline.
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kareng57

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Re: What to do when an RSVP only asks for confirmations?
« Reply #18 on: October 29, 2013, 09:58:13 PM »
That's exactly why I've never understood the "regrets only" request for replies. I've given far too many parties where I've cleraly stated in the invitation that I need replies either way, and still don't get any reply from some, to think it's a good idea to simply assume that if someone doesn't reply they are coming. It's much more likely that if they don't reply, they are not coming but even that is an assumption that could backfire.

If it's critical to know the exact number, it's best to ask for people to reply either way by a deadline date, and it's almost always necessary to follow up with those who don't reply by the deadline.


IME, "regrets only" usually means something like a medium-sized home cocktail party, where the numbers really aren't that critical.  Leftover appetizers can usually be frozen or redistributed... :)

I get what you're saying, but I don't think that there's any quick-fix.  "Confirmation", I would take as being "please confirm Yes", or "Please confirm No", so I don't think that it's automatically a bad wording.  But for formal events such as weddings, where the numbers are critical, we've all heard stories about people who don't respond, and later say "but of course you knew that we were coming!"

Please understand that I am in no way saying that it is all right to not respond; of course it is a requirement.

gramma dishes

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Re: What to do when an RSVP only asks for confirmations?
« Reply #19 on: October 29, 2013, 10:01:54 PM »
Thanks everyone!  :)

I get the impression it was more of a courtesy invitation than an actual expectation I would attend. I'll send them an email congratulating them and making it clear I will be unable to attend.

Perfect.