General Etiquette > Family and Children

Need advice on cut direct involving a third person

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EMuir:
I got a text last night from my  brother's wife saying she got my cell number from her son.  She had a concern about my mother, she wanted to ask me some questions, and to please contact her at my earliest convenience.

My brother and his wife been so toxic to me in the past that I have cut off all contact.  Sometimes Mom will go out for a meal with them. 

Mom has lived with my partner and me for the past year, we've always been very close to my mom so when she no longer wanted to take care of a big house in a small town on her own, moving into the city with us was always the plan. Mom is 77 years old and of course has some health concerns which I keep an eye on and are being addressed by her doctor.  We talk openly with each other.  There is literally no way that SIL could have observed anything about my mother that I haven't already seen.

SIL is unlikely to truly be concerned for Mom's health, given the type of person she is.  She probably wants to ask me prying questions about mom's health.

Part of me wants to text her back to say that it's none of her business.  Instead, I intend to keep the cut direct by blocking the cell she texted me from.  Do you think that is the right decision?

Also, should I tell Mom that SIL texted me at all? 



Minmom3:
Your earliest convenience is the 12th of Never?  Could SIL possibly have seen public behavior or confusion that you might not have seen if only because your Mom is more comfortable with you?  Barring that, if you don't want contact, then don't return the text.  Block it, by all means.  You could ask your mom if she knows why SIL texted you, but if you don't want to return the contact, then don't.

MrTango:
Yep.  I think your plan to block SIL's phone without comment is the right way to go.

If your mother understands why you've cut off your SIL, then I would let her know that SIL tried to contact you, using "concerns" about your mother as a pretext.

If your mother isn't okay with the cut you've given your brother and SIL, then I wouldn't mention anything to her.

TootsNYC:
Your mom is mentally healthy? Able to take care of herself?

I suppose you could text back and say, "I don't discuss Mom's private matters with other people. You could share your concerns with her directly."

And then block her.

shhh its me:

--- Quote from: TootsNYC on October 28, 2013, 11:34:38 AM ---Your mom is mentally healthy? Able to take care of herself?

I suppose you could text back and say, "I don't discuss Mom's private matters with other people. You could share your concerns should speak with her directly."

And then block her.

--- End quote ---
I would do this and tell your mother. Since you will be blocking her and telling her contact mom directly even if she contacts you again from a different number you have established you will not speak to her about your mother.

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