Author Topic: Should he stay or should he go now? Weirdness update p2  (Read 17468 times)

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kudeebee

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Re: Should he stay or should he go now? Weirdness update p2
« Reply #60 on: November 10, 2013, 12:43:29 PM »
i would be tempted to say the following to his wife, should you ever meet her--and know he hasn't been given one by hr;
"How do you like the pink hard hat that your dh got for you?"

It would be worth it to see him squirm if she answers "yes' and maybe adds "plus I like my other hat, too."

If she says "What pink hard hat?" you can always answer "Oh, I thought he was getting one for you."

wildkitty

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Re: Should he stay or should he go now? Weirdness update p2
« Reply #61 on: November 11, 2013, 11:16:39 AM »
It's very bizarre that he would steal a pink hat.

Why do you think it's bizarre?

Raintree

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Re: Should he stay or should he go now? Weirdness update p2
« Reply #62 on: November 12, 2013, 02:47:31 AM »
It's very bizarre that he would steal a pink hat.

Why do you think it's bizarre?

Because it's not an item of any value really. (Not that its having value would make it any more or less OK - it didn't belong to him, period). And a little icky to take a used hat to give to his wife. (If, indeed, this is what happened). I would think it extremely bizarre if I couldn't leave a simple item like a hat or a scarf on my desk in the area designated for me in my workplace, where I know and greet the same people every day and nobody else has access, and find it still there the next day.

I would find it less bizarre if money went missing. I'd be outraged to know that a thief was in our midst, but not puzzled.

Someone once stole a $5 pair of scissors from my kitchen drawer. I knew who it was because of her history, her character, and the fact that she'd been the only one who had visited the house. Those scissors never did turn up even after a move. I thought it was a very bizarre thing to steal, when there were other items around of higher value. But then I googled kleptomania. In the OP's case though, it sounds as though this wasn't just a random compulsion to steal worthless items, but a planned theft and I find it really weird that he wanted a specific USED pink hat for his wife so badly that he'd steal it.

Otterpop

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Re: Should he stay or should he go now? Weirdness update p2
« Reply #63 on: November 12, 2013, 11:06:56 AM »
People steal random, strange things all the time for the thrill of it.  However, this guy stated to OP and several other people that his wife would love a hat like that. So, to him it was a desired, useful object.  Not bizarre.

What is bizarre is him telling lots of people that he was coveting it.  Then it is gone.  You'd think he would have been more stealthy.  Maybe he's using reverse psychology.  "I wouldn't TELL people I wanted it before stealing it.  Therefore I'm not the thief!"  Or...he's just incredibly dumb.

(Either way OP, I couldn't work with him or even look him in the eye.  It would be nicer to just believe a janitor took it).

padua

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Re: Should he stay or should he go now? Weirdness update p2
« Reply #64 on: November 12, 2013, 12:02:51 PM »
He  may have taken the hats; he may not have. For all you know, the hats may have been moved by someone else maliciously or non maliciously. They could have accidentally been dropped in the janitor's trash.
I know I was sure someone took my _____ . A year later, I found it in a drawer. These types of things happened to me all the time.

i feel bad for the guy. i know his behaviors seem shady, but once you're branded as a thief, it's really difficult to recall that. i agree that the concern should be around the fact that there is a thief in the office, and not that this guy is the thief. the first would allow preventative measures regardless of whether or not the coworker is guilty. the second would be tarnishing his reputation and goodwill with his coworkers. wanting something is not always a precursor to taking something.

veronaz

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Re: Should he stay or should he go now? Weirdness update p2
« Reply #65 on: November 16, 2013, 11:15:36 PM »
The circumstantial evidence definitely points to him, and I’m 90% convinced he took it……BUT there is also the possibility that someone else who doesn’t like him took it  - knowing he would be suspect #1.

You will never see it again.  If he did take it, returning it to your office on the sly after he ordered one (which I don’t think he’s going to do) would be way too obvious and makes no sense.

I wouldn’t say anything to his wife.  That wouldn’t accomplish anything.  Also possible she wanted him to take it and/or knows that he did but doesn’t care.


TeamBhakta

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Re: Should he stay or should he go now? Weirdness update p2
« Reply #66 on: November 17, 2013, 12:22:32 AM »
It's very bizarre that he would steal a pink hat.

Why do you think it's bizarre?

Maybe he wears it while doing laundry nude, like the housewife from Ann Landers' column ?  >:D
http://www.snopes.com/embarrass/buff/helmet.asp

Raintree

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Re: Should he stay or should he go now? Weirdness update p2
« Reply #67 on: November 18, 2013, 12:45:50 AM »
It's very bizarre that he would steal a pink hat.

Why do you think it's bizarre?

Maybe he wears it while doing laundry nude, like the housewife from Ann Landers' column ?  >:D
http://www.snopes.com/embarrass/buff/helmet.asp

Haha. I had wondered if the reason for wildkitty's post, "Why do you think it's bizarre" is that she thought the pinkness of the hat and the gender of the suspected thief had something to do with my thinking it was bizarre. I kind of felt like I was being accused of some kind of prejudice or bias against men who like pink. But I assure you, that wasn't going through my mind at all until Wildkitty brought it up. I merely found it bizarre to think that some new employee would see fit to steal some used item of clothing belonging to another. Kind of like, I assume I can leave a pair of running shoes or an umbrella or jacket at my workplace and it would never occur to me that it wouldn't still be there, in MY space where I'd left it, the next day.

I suppose I shouldn't think it bizarre. Years ago, in a retail store, a fellow employee put up a sign stating that someone had stolen an outfit of hers that she'd planned to change into after work for a night of clubbing. She expressed dismay that she'd had to go clubbing in a white polo shirt and casual pants. There were also food thieves at that store. So I suppose nothing should surprise me.

wildkitty

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Re: Should he stay or should he go now? Weirdness update p2
« Reply #68 on: November 18, 2013, 01:35:49 PM »
I apologize Raintree, I didn't mean to give the impression that I was accusing you of gender bias. My question was both curiosity and a lame attempt to subtlety determine if you missed the OP state that the guy wanted the pink hat for his wife. But now that I re-read your post and mine I get the miscommunication. If you had said "Why would he want a used hat?" I would have understood because I agree with you,  hats and shoes are pretty much as personal to me as underwear.

tinkytinky

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Re: Should he stay or should he go now? Weirdness update p2
« Reply #69 on: November 18, 2013, 04:41:23 PM »
It's very bizarre that he would steal a pink hat.

Why do you think it's bizarre?

Maybe he wears it while doing laundry nude, like the housewife from Ann Landers' column ?  >:D
http://www.snopes.com/embarrass/buff/helmet.asp

well that was a visual that was unexpected; it's a good thing my office is quite empty today.....

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Raintree

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Re: Should he stay or should he go now? Weirdness update p2
« Reply #70 on: November 19, 2013, 12:13:19 AM »
I apologize Raintree, I didn't mean to give the impression that I was accusing you of gender bias. My question was both curiosity and a lame attempt to subtlety determine if you missed the OP state that the guy wanted the pink hat for his wife. But now that I re-read your post and mine I get the miscommunication. If you had said "Why would he want a used hat?" I would have understood because I agree with you,  hats and shoes are pretty much as personal to me as underwear.

Oh I see, well no worries. I guess it's not all that bizarre, in the context that he wanted it for his wife.  (If he stole it). Or maybe it is. It's bizarre to openly claim you want something, and then steal it and expect nobody to suspect you. So maybe someone else stole it and he now feels uncomfortable thinking, "Oh great, now everyone's going to assume I stole it." !!

Mel the Redcap

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Re: Should he stay or should he go now? Weirdness update p2
« Reply #71 on: November 23, 2013, 07:22:49 AM »
So Hard Hat Swiper hadn't talked to me since I asked him last Thursday morning if he'd seen my hats. But this morning one of my coworkers walked into my office wearing her own pink hard hat as a joke, and he followed her into my office and said to me, "Is that your hat?!" I said no, it's hers. He said, "Did yours ever show up?"

I came within a hair of saying, Well, not unless you brought it back, but instead said, "No, and I'm sure they never will, but HR has ordered me a new one." And he said to me, "Oh! Who do I ask to get one? Because you know I told you my wife wants one of those."

 :o

I said, "Yeah, you mentioned that. Talk to HR." And then turned to my coworker and started talking about the work-related question she had for me, and he wandered out.

This guy, y'all! This guy has a lot of chutzpah. I'm loving all your comments and appreciating your feedback. Unfortunately locking my door won't do much good since our keys all fit each others' doors, and I don't want to mess with a camera for now. If something else goes missing I'll ask HR to change the locks, but I honestly don't think he'll steal anything else--he already got what he wanted! I did take home the one irreplaceable item in my office that I would be upset to lose, and I won't be leaving my (pink!) gym bag here overnight anymore.

My coworkers don't have much personal stuff in their offices either, and I know a couple of them took home some valuables they didn't want to lose. The HR lady said she might send out a warning email but it's not happened yet.

Hmmm...sounds like someone has a guilty conscience, and while aware of the missing hat, was trying to make it seem like he was completely innocent, by asking how toget one. 

Even if yours hadn't gone missing, its still a bit snowflakey to think that your company would provide him with a pink hard hat for his WIFE. who doens't even work there.

…Okay. Confession time. Back when I was in my late teens, I… er… went through a bit of a sticky-fingered phase. :-[ I stole stupid stuff mostly, things that I wanted but couldn't afford… always something that I'd shown a lot of interest in and asked questions about beforehand... and the next time I was in the shop I'd stolen from, I'd nearly always ask about the thing I'd taken. It was a compulsion, like poking at a sore tooth. "Oh, hey, did you sell the [thingy]? I really liked that!"

*embarrassed cough* So, uh, yeah. It doesn't prove he took the hats, but being really obvious about wanting something, stealing it, then reminding people that you really wanted it is a Thing That Happens.
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