General Etiquette > Holidays

Is There A Polite Way Of Conveying This Message?

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Millionaire Maria:
Hey everyone,

So Dandy Man is two and a half right now and we just recently moved to a new community where we don't know any of our neighbors. Dandy Man has a peanut allergy (not life threatening). Last Halloween, we took him to three or four houses, of friends of ours, to show off how cute he was in his costume. All of our friends knew about the peanut allergy and chose to give him candy that didn't have peanuts in it. He didn't really understand what was going on, but was thrilled to get candy.

So this year, he's old enough to do some real trick or treating. I figured I'd take him up the street about two blocks and then bring him home. Just enough for a little dude. I'm actually really excited to introduce ourselves to some of our neighbors and I'm looking to make a good first impression.

Is there a polite way of conveying to the neighbors that Dandy won't be able to enjoy any treats with peanuts? This is a really nice neighborhood, and I'm anticipating him getting a lot of "the good stuff", which usually includes things like Snickers and Reese's Cups. Halloween candy is a gift, so I don't want to tell people what to give him, but I also don't want to have to take away half his candy when we get home. Are there any other parents out there that have dealt with this dilemma before? How have you handled it?

hannahmollysmom:
If you don't want to remove half his candy, then exchange it. Pick up some that he can have and "trade" him for it. Then take the exchanged candy to work. If it's anything like my job, it will be gone in a flash.

I really don't think you can say anything to the neighbors handing out candy. That would come across as too special. If all they have is candy with peanuts, will you let your son walk away empty handed?

Millionaire Maria:

--- Quote from: hannahmollysmom on October 30, 2013, 01:35:30 AM ---If you don't want to remove half his candy, then exchange it. Pick up some that he can have and "trade" him for it. Then take the exchanged candy to work. If it's anything like my job, it will be gone in a flash.

I really don't think you can say anything to the neighbors handing out candy. That would come across as too special. If all they have is candy with peanuts, will you let your son walk away empty handed?

--- End quote ---

Definitely not! Regardless of the situation, I would never be so rude as to refuse an offered gift. Unfortunately, I don't work, so the taking it to the office thing won't work.

Danika:
I would definitely not mention his allergy beforehand, because that might be all they have in the house anyway. And, I agree with the PP who said it'd be on the special snowflake side. Those folks might not want to then have to run to the store again just to get something peanut-free.

Just say thanks.

And hopefully go out, and return home early enough that you can quickly sort and hand out all the peanut candy to trick-or-treaters who come to your door.

I have a lot of food allergies (luckily, none of them life threatening is moderate or small doses) and so in situations like this, I don't say anything. However, if they were to invite you over for dinner sometime, that would be the time to warn them in advance. Or if they later asked you "How did your child like the peanut-coated candy apple that I got him?" You can be honest and say "Unfortunately, he's allergic to peanuts. So his father and I ate it and it was delicious. Thank you for the gift."

Danika:
Additionally, if you think your son will notice that a considerable chuck of candy has been taken away, you could buy him other candy (or something healthy, if you prefer) before you go out. And you can tell him "Because you are allergic to peanuts, there will be some I can't let you eat. So I bought you this to replace it."

And you can go through and take out the ones he can't have, and give him approved candy/treats that he can that you bought knowing that would happen.

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