Author Topic: Is There A Polite Way Of Conveying This Message?  (Read 5679 times)

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SPuck

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Re: Is There A Polite Way Of Conveying This Message?
« Reply #15 on: October 30, 2013, 02:10:00 PM »
I would go wit the earlier suggestions of the swap out. My neighbors did this with their sons (and sometimes my family would get the left overs :D), and on top of that their grandparents also ended up buying them candy because they were afraid the kids wouldn't get enough. The best road to take in this situation is not to make a big deal out of swapping the candy. He can get excited about the candy, just don't make him feel (or let anyone else make him feel) like he is loosing something.

tinkytinky

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Re: Is There A Polite Way Of Conveying This Message?
« Reply #16 on: October 30, 2013, 02:16:08 PM »
POD previouse posters who said to swap his candy with something that he can have. You can make a game of it, saying "I'll swap you this peanut butter cup for this laffy taffy, OK this candybar with peanuts can be swapped for two packages of smarties and a lollypop" or whatever. He is also old enough to help send care packages to soldiers overseas. It could include some of the candy that he can't have along with some other purchased goodies (like trail mix, fruit snacks, etc). It doesnt have to be anything extremely expensive, and I know they appreciate unexpected treats.

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123sandy

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Re: Is There A Polite Way Of Conveying This Message?
« Reply #17 on: October 30, 2013, 02:22:00 PM »
We do a candy buy back. The kids get to pick 10/12 favourite pieces, we buy the rest for $20. Husband takes candy to work. Happy kids, happy co-workers, and we count the money as off future dentist bills!

Matchbox cars and colouring books used to work too.

Zilla

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Re: Is There A Polite Way Of Conveying This Message?
« Reply #18 on: October 30, 2013, 02:28:08 PM »
If you don't want to remove half his candy, then exchange it. Pick up some that he can have and "trade" him for it. Then take the exchanged candy to work. If it's anything like my job, it will be gone in a flash.

I really don't think you can say anything to the neighbors handing out candy. That would come across as too special. If all they have is candy with peanuts, will you let your son walk away empty handed?

Definitely not! Regardless of the situation, I would never be so rude as to refuse an offered gift. Unfortunately, I don't work, so the taking it to the office thing won't work.


I wouldn't mention it.  I would do as suggested above.  Buy some that he likes and trade him for it.  You can also reinforce why he can't have this candy or that candy but ooh look at what you can have instead!  That way he remembers more of what he can or can't have.


And as for all the candy you can't eat,  when you get home with it, give it out to the trick or treaters that come to your door. :D

esposita

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Re: Is There A Polite Way Of Conveying This Message?
« Reply #19 on: October 30, 2013, 02:38:29 PM »
He's two and a half, right?
...snip...
The chance of him encountering foods he can't eat is always going to be there, so you could consider this part of the learning/teaching process of having a child with a severe allergy.

This is an excellent point. Whatever you decide to do, do it low-key and with a big smile, letting him know that this is a part of his life but its not something to be down about.

Something else to consider is donating the candy he can't eat. A local dentist's office is paying kids $1 per pound, and shipping all the candy they receive overseas to soldiers. That would be a great way of teaching him to turn a difficulty into a way to help others! (Plus, he'd get a free toothbrush, lol.)

Tabby Uprising

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Re: Is There A Polite Way Of Conveying This Message?
« Reply #20 on: October 30, 2013, 02:47:56 PM »
He's two and a half, right?
...snip...
The chance of him encountering foods he can't eat is always going to be there, so you could consider this part of the learning/teaching process of having a child with a severe allergy.

This is an excellent point. Whatever you decide to do, do it low-key and with a big smile, letting him know that this is a part of his life but its not something to be down about.

Something else to consider is donating the candy he can't eat. A local dentist's office is paying kids $1 per pound, and shipping all the candy they receive overseas to soldiers. That would be a great way of teaching him to turn a difficulty into a way to help others! (Plus, he'd get a free toothbrush, lol.)

I was posting here to say the same thing.  Dentists offices in my area are doing candy buy-backs as well and some neighborhood moms collect unwanted candy to box to the troops themselves.  Some moms have said they take all (or a lot) of their child's candy and replace it with a small gift.  They tell their kids the Great Pumpkin comes for the candy and leaves them a present  :)

Millionaire Maria

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Re: Is There A Polite Way Of Conveying This Message?
« Reply #21 on: October 30, 2013, 03:03:42 PM »
Thanks for all the replies everyone. I am like Toots' MIL. I would want to know so I could offer a Kit Kat instead of a Snickers. Please, for future replies, keep in mind that my son's allergy is not severe. He's totally fine having candy that's not officially "peanut free", just as long as it doesn't actually contain peanuts. I don't know that I've ever experienced someone handing out candy that only had peanuts in it. I think this year, we'll only bring it up if they offer to let him choose himself or ask what he would like.
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magician5

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Re: Is There A Polite Way Of Conveying This Message?
« Reply #22 on: October 30, 2013, 03:08:15 PM »
When all the candy gets pitched into a big trick-or-treat bag, the potential for cross-contamination is there. I think you could ask, in a smiling and friendly way, if anything he's being given has peanuts (and of course you recall that the residents might not know and might not tell you accurately, so you'll want to check the labels when you get home)

For my part, as a happy participant in the grand tradition of "Ooh, you're so scary, if I give you some candy you won't haunt me, promise?", I wouldn't mind being asked.
« Last Edit: October 30, 2013, 03:10:15 PM by magician5 »
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Morticia

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Re: Is There A Polite Way Of Conveying This Message?
« Reply #23 on: October 30, 2013, 04:22:53 PM »
I wish people would tell me if they need peanut free. I buy some every year, but I also buy my own favourites, so, you know... I have actually been trying to figure out how to indicate that this is an option, without putting up an "Ask me about my nuts" sign. Currently, everyone gets Rockets (Canadian candy sugar pellets - no nuts), and a chocolate bar of dangerous provenance.
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cwm

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Re: Is There A Polite Way Of Conveying This Message?
« Reply #24 on: October 30, 2013, 04:24:19 PM »
I wish people would tell me if they need peanut free. I buy some every year, but I also buy my own favourites, so, you know... I have actually been trying to figure out how to indicate that this is an option, without putting up an "Ask me about my nuts" sign. Currently, everyone gets Rockets (Canadian candy sugar pellets - no nuts), and a chocolate bar of dangerous provenance.

As a side note, I'd LOVE to see a sign like that on Halloween. Or any time, actually.

SamiHami

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Re: Is There A Polite Way Of Conveying This Message?
« Reply #25 on: October 30, 2013, 04:35:34 PM »
I agree with doing the swap. Also, if you are only going to take him around a couple of blocks, you'll probably still have plenty of ToTer's coming to your place. You could always give his nutty candy away to other children. Just make sure he doesn't think you're being a meanie giving away "his" stuff!  :)

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camlan

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Re: Is There A Polite Way Of Conveying This Message?
« Reply #26 on: October 30, 2013, 04:41:20 PM »
If there's a house where there is a choice, I think he can say, "Can I have the Hershey bar, please? I'm allergic to peanuts."

It would be a good thing in the world, to remind candy-giver-outers that this allergy exists. I know my MIL would want *every* kid who comes to her house to go away with candy that he doesn't have to swap. So if a kid said that to her this year, she'd probably make me go out and buy more plain chocolate or Jolly Rancher stuff so she could give that out. And next year she'd have some non-peanut candy.

You might also contact the local paper or radio station and say, "My kid has a peanut allergy, and we'd love to participate in a story that reminds your readers/listeners to remember this allergy if they are hoping to create a great Halloween for -every- kid. And to share some strategies for coping if you're like us."

In addition to peanut allergies, a surprising number of children have dairy allergies, which makes most chocolate out of bounds for them.

I have two candy bowls at Halloween--one with lots of chocolate goodies, one with (US) Smarties and plain old lollipops. Most kids with allergies can have one or both of those.

It's worth it every year that some mom goes, "No, Sammy, you can't have that," while looking at th chocolate bowl, and I can point them to the other, "safe," bowl that the other kids are ignoring.
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Outdoor Girl

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Re: Is There A Polite Way Of Conveying This Message?
« Reply #27 on: October 30, 2013, 05:06:19 PM »
FYI - US Smarties are the same as Canadian Rockets.  Canadian Smarties are like M&Ms.

Now you are making me feel like I need to run out and buy a bag of something other than chocolate...
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TootsNYC

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Re: Is There A Polite Way Of Conveying This Message?
« Reply #28 on: October 30, 2013, 05:16:21 PM »
When all the candy gets pitched into a big trick-or-treat bag, the potential for cross-contamination is there.

Even through the wrapper?

Katana_Geldar

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Re: Is There A Polite Way Of Conveying This Message?
« Reply #29 on: October 30, 2013, 05:22:46 PM »
When all the candy gets pitched into a big trick-or-treat bag, the potential for cross-contamination is there.

Even through the wrapper?
Sometimes there's residue that can get through to the skin in severe allergies.

I rather like what my Dad did with lollies: put them in a giant jar and let us have some every so often. We did this after every Easter and they stayed good until Christmas.