Author Topic: Is There A Polite Way Of Conveying This Message?  (Read 6121 times)

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shhh its me

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Re: Is There A Polite Way Of Conveying This Message?
« Reply #30 on: October 30, 2013, 10:07:09 PM »
  I think if you can see the bowl  and see there are peanut free options its ok it say "Would the sucker be ok, nut allergy ?" (between trick or treat and thank you) if there was a line or you cant see what they are giving out I wouldn't.  I think most elementary schools also take candy donations.

Danika

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Re: Is There A Polite Way Of Conveying This Message?
« Reply #31 on: October 31, 2013, 01:58:21 AM »
I usually have a variety of different types of candies in one big bowl and I'll tell the kids "pick three" or something like that. I've found that they generally choose candy containing chocolate, FWIW.


I think if it's a serious risk, you have to skip trick or treating and plan a party at home, I have friends who have never let their kids TorT, and not because of allergies. They have a party at home, do the dooking for apples, eating a doughring on a string, wrapping a family member up like a mummy in TP, etc.. Their kids don't miss out.

I agree. If your kid is so allergic to something that something else touching a wrapper touching their skin could cause death, I would like to think that you wouldn't let them go Trick or Treating, or you'd let them go for the experience, but never let them touch the candy and just dispose of it when they returned home.

Runningstar

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Re: Is There A Polite Way Of Conveying This Message?
« Reply #32 on: October 31, 2013, 08:13:14 AM »
 :-\
The OP wanted to know if there was a polite way to convey the message about peanut free candy, which to me the answer is not usually while at the door but could be mentioned at some other time in conversation.  It is up to the parent to decide about safety, how to be safe, etc.  We deal with peanut allergy issues and while there can be contamination, you can also never be sure.   To miss the excitement of the night would be a shame, even if you just dumped the entire loot in the trash would be better than that.   

TeamBhakta

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Re: Is There A Polite Way Of Conveying This Message?
« Reply #33 on: November 01, 2013, 12:30:49 AM »

You might also contact the local paper or radio station and say, "My kid has a peanut allergy, and we'd love to participate in a story that reminds your readers/listeners to remember this allergy if they are hoping to create a great Halloween for -every- kid. And to share some strategies for coping if you're like us."

Honestly, that seems a bit snowflakey to me. You can't accomodate every child's allergy. What about the kids who are allergic to dairy, chocolate, eggs, grains or strawberries ? Or the ones who only eat raw,  vegan or kosher foods ?

Danika

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Re: Is There A Polite Way Of Conveying This Message?
« Reply #34 on: November 01, 2013, 02:13:44 AM »

You might also contact the local paper or radio station and say, "My kid has a peanut allergy, and we'd love to participate in a story that reminds your readers/listeners to remember this allergy if they are hoping to create a great Halloween for -every- kid. And to share some strategies for coping if you're like us."

Honestly, that seems a bit snowflakey to me. You can't accomodate every child's allergy. What about the kids who are allergic to dairy, chocolate, eggs, grains or strawberries ? Or the ones who only eat raw,  vegan or kosher foods ?

You think it's snowflakey to try to make people aware? Toots wasn't advocating telling people what to do. But there are some of us out there who genuinely do want every child who trick or treats to have a fun night. If there is candy that is appropriate for children with allergies, I would have some on hand, if I knew what it was and where to find it. Most people who hand out Halloween candy do so for the joy of participating in the holiday. Most of us would not be put out by a local radio station or newspaper running a story about where to get candy for children with dietary restrictions. And if you are, ignore the story and hand out whatever you want.

I think people are pretty aware of allergies. I don't know anyone who hasn't heard of them or doesn't know someone who has one. The problem is that there are so many things that are even common allergens. And then you have intolerances, and other things. You can't accommodate everyone. The best each person can do is buy a variety of things and let the Trick-or-Treaters choose if they want sugar, chocolate, organic, etc.

But these are gifts. Someone's coming to my door asking me for food. And I'm nice enough to spend $25 to buy candy and stand at my door all night handing it out. I have a ton of allergies myself, that's why I buy a variety. But it is special snowflakey to try to announce on the radio or by word of mouth that people should purchase certain kinds of foods to accommodate anyone coming to their door asking for the food.

And when most of the people in North America (I can't speak for the rest of the world) are already aware of allergies, when you mention it for the nine millionth time, it is like beating someone over the head. And looking a gift horse in the mouth. And it sounds a bit like special snowflakes are being condescending and saying that the free candy isn't good enough. It comes across as judging the gift-giver.

If my free dairy-filled, preservative-filled, high chocolate, high sugar gifts that cost me $25 aren't good enough for the people "begging" at my door (I have little kids too, I don't consider them beggars, but that's the word that comes to mind), then I will turn my porch light off and not hand out candy or anything at all. In any economy, but especially this one, there's no way I'm making sure that I give out healthy, allergy free, intolerance free food that costs way more than the $25 I already spent. I can't anticipate every allergy. And I would find it very off-putting to be asked to.

ChinaShepherdess

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Re: Is There A Polite Way Of Conveying This Message?
« Reply #35 on: November 01, 2013, 04:28:19 AM »
A moot point this late in the holiday season, but re: accommodating trick-or-treaters with allergies, I always keep a bowl of chocolatey treats and a bowl of non-edible treats, like temporary tattoos or stickers. Lots of children choose the tattoos over the chocolate! I love it, because they're vegan/kosher/gluten-free and, unlike a plastic cauldron full of York peppermint patties, I'm not tempted to raid the bowl!

Sharnita

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Re: Is There A Polite Way Of Conveying This Message?
« Reply #36 on: November 01, 2013, 10:28:04 AM »
What kind of candy is that? I mean it would have to be nut free, gluten free,  dairy free, sugar free ...

That sounds like pretty unappealing candy.

Sharnita

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Re: Is There A Polite Way Of Conveying This Message?
« Reply #37 on: November 01, 2013, 11:03:24 AM »
Honestly,  your expectations seem really unrealistic.  Some kids won't be able to eat some treats because they aren't compatible with braces.  If every single potential issue for every subgroup in the population was eliminated, they would have to stop trick or treating all together.

Outdoor Girl

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Re: Is There A Polite Way Of Conveying This Message?
« Reply #38 on: November 01, 2013, 11:06:17 AM »
I really like the suggestion of having a candy bowl and a non candy bowl with stickers and temporary tattoos and little toys.  I may hit the dollar store next year and do that.  I also like the idea of goldfish crackers for the little ones.  My neighbour handed out puddings to the itty bittys.
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Sharnita

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Re: Is There A Polite Way Of Conveying This Message?
« Reply #39 on: November 01, 2013, 11:30:16 AM »
The thing is, you really do seem to expect that people should want to accommodate allergies.

TeamBhakta

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Re: Is There A Polite Way Of Conveying This Message?
« Reply #40 on: November 01, 2013, 12:05:46 PM »
What kind of candy is that? I mean it would have to be nut free, gluten free,  dairy free, sugar free ...

That sounds like pretty unappealing candy.

I'll bet it's very appealing to the kids who can't have anything else.

It's unrealistic. We had someone on another thread who works in a factory that makes gluten free products (or something like that) on certain days. They use bunny suits, flags on fork lifts and don't allow contaminants in the area, but still can't guarantee the product is 100% allergen free. And if they can't do that, how do you expect people to ensure that for random strangers' kids no less ? Shoot, I'm allergic to green peppers and aspartame; and I know there's candies flavored with both of those. But I don't call radio stations asking people to have an alternative to it on hand.

JenJay

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Re: Is There A Polite Way Of Conveying This Message?
« Reply #41 on: November 01, 2013, 12:24:52 PM »
A moot point this late in the holiday season, but re: accommodating trick-or-treaters with allergies, I always keep a bowl of chocolatey treats and a bowl of non-edible treats, like temporary tattoos or stickers. Lots of children choose the tattoos over the chocolate! I love it, because they're vegan/kosher/gluten-free and, unlike a plastic cauldron full of York peppermint patties, I'm not tempted to raid the bowl!

That's brilliant and I'm going to set up a non-candy treat bowl next year, too. Thank you!

Tea Drinker

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Re: Is There A Polite Way Of Conveying This Message?
« Reply #42 on: November 01, 2013, 02:46:57 PM »
If I was handing out candy (the building I live in now doesn't seem to be set up for trick-or-treating) I would want to accommodate allergies. Not, perhaps, everything: but I could as easily buy two or three different kinds of treat (for example, relatively plain chocolates, and something like Smarties or packets of jelly beans) as a larger amount of just one thing. But I might not think of it, without specific people and their known allergies in mind. I might just think "hey, I like the dark chocolate milky ways, I'll get those and eat any that are left over after Halloween." So while that sort of human interest/feature reminder might not be necessary, it doesn't feel snowflakey, if done from the point of view of "Local family has a child with an allergy, so makes a point of having several different kinds of candy for trick-or-treaters" rather than "woe is me, my child can't eat most of the Halloween candy."
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Promise

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Re: Is There A Polite Way Of Conveying This Message?
« Reply #43 on: November 01, 2013, 02:51:30 PM »
This is a good teaching opportunity about his allergy. You won't be able to protect him from every instance that he comes in contact with food he can't eat. Begin now by going through his candy with him, telling him and showing him which ones have peanuts and that eating that will make him very sick. Let him keep the ones that are ok and you eat the ones that are not. Of course you keep them secured in a place where he can't get them!

Deetee

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Re: Is There A Polite Way Of Conveying This Message?
« Reply #44 on: November 01, 2013, 03:06:23 PM »
This is a good teaching opportunity about his allergy. You won't be able to protect him from every instance that he comes in contact with food he can't eat. Begin now by going through his candy with him, telling him and showing him which ones have peanuts and that eating that will make him very sick. Let him keep the ones that are ok and you eat the ones that are not. Of course you keep them secured in a place where he can't get them!

This is about what I was going to post. I think a very , very, very important skill to teach a child with an allergy is that they are responsible for ensuring that what goes into their mouth is safe. This can start very early with the child NEVER eating something that was not given to them by a parent.

One of the kids at my daughter's kindergarten is allergic and I was chatting to her mom at a birthday party. The little girl came running up and showed some food to her mom and her mom quickly glanced at it and said it was OK. The mom mentioned that she just does that with everything so the girl knows that she must vet everything.  Right now, it is through a parent, but she is already aware that all food must go through a "Is this safe?" phase so when she is older she will do the check herself.

I thought this was a good system.