General Etiquette > Family and Children

mother says is helping to fund.... but it is a lie.

(1/3) > >>

Runningstar:
Wondered if anyone would have advice on how to politely tell sil the truth?
 I'm currently busily working on items to sell at a craft fair to support dd's
upcoming event that is with a well known and beloved group.  At my table there will be info and signs promoting both the group and specifically my dd's
event.
 Many locals will most likely be more supportive towards our items as they love what dd is doing.
My mother will also be selling items at the next table, and we will spot each other for breaks, crowds, etc.

The problem is that dm told sil that her profits will also go to my dd......  but this is not true.  She has confirmed that this won't be the case.   Sil has told me
how wonderful this is, and I can just foresee the hurt sil will feel when dn's projects aren't equally or at all supported likewise.
I stay out of this drama usually by just ignoring, refusing to participate, etc.  But, this time I want to tell sil about the truth of this, and that no support is being
given. 
Any ideas of a polite way to do this?  Can it be mentioned at all?  I won't see sil until after the craft fair, and just am befuddled about a non drama causing
way to correct this "misinformation".  Btw, dm is just like this - I'm not at all worried about fixing her.

amylouky:
I'd tell SIL. Since she already told you about it, it's too late to do the surprised/confused act, but I would tell her.

I'd also make sure that dm doesn't co-op some of your signs promoting dd's group/event to put near her own table, and make sure she isn't telling people at the event that she's supporting dd's group/event.

Deetee:
I would just tell SIL that she must have misunderstood your mother and that your mother has no plans to support your group with the craft fair.

Keep it utterly factual and don't speculate or blame or suggest that your mother was lying (even if you are certain she would).

Then I would not worry about SIL being upset about your daughter not being supported by your mom. I think she'll get over that.

MrTango:
I agree that it's okay to tell SIL.  "Whatever Mom has told you about supporting [event], she hasn't actually given anything."

That way, you aren't confirming or denying what your mother has said to SIL, but you are instead stating what she has (or in this case, hasn't) done.

TootsNYC:
I think that if you are worried your mother will pretend to be so supportive of your own kid, and then won't actually be supportive of SIL's kids, thereby hurting SIL's feelings with the apparent disparity, that you can actually have a confidential convo w/ SIL to say, "Look, don't feel bad--Mom doesn't do all the stuff that she says she does. She doesn't help my kid that much, etc. She just likes the way it sounds sometimes."

Navigation

[0] Message Index

[#] Next page

Go to full version