General Etiquette > All In A Day's Work

privacy in the bathroom -- am I crazy or is everyone else?

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flickan:
I've dealt with the "small office" bathroom (think 2-3 stalls, everyone knows everyone) for a long time and there is a thing that happens often enough that I can't help wondering if I'm the only one who thinks it's out of line.

Does anyone else get bothered by coworkers talking to them when they're in the stall?  It has always struck me as a serious breach of etiquette to attempt to converse with a coworker when they are indisposed.  I knows guys don't talk in the men's room.  I know women sometimes talk to their friends in a public bathroom.  But don't female coworkers respect the stall as a blind spot and a privacy zone?  You're not supposed to know who's in there unless you saw them go in, right?  And even then you're supposed to pretend.

I'm not particularly close to any of ladies I work with so it isn't a friend scenario.  The most glaring example was a while back when I had a coworker call me out in the stall (I guess she saw my shoes?) and ask me a work-related question.  It was not by any means urgent and it felt terribly intrusive.

Then the other day I was taking care of business when suddenly a voice from the stall next to me called "psst, Flicka, is that you??"  I was so startled I tensed up and shot back a not-very-polite, "What's wrong-- what do you want!?"  I thought maybe something bad had happened and then I thought maybe she ran out of paper.  But no, she continued with, "Sorry if you hear any noises, okay, please ignore them!"

Are you kidding me??

I mean, I was in zen mode and taking care of business and now my coworker is not only calling attention to the fact that we're both attending to needs but prepping me for embarrassing noises that I am usually thrilled to pretend aren't happening.

I was so flummoxed I just stammered, "Yeah, great, okay, whatever," and bolted from the bathroom.

So I could have been nicer about it, definitely.  No points there.  But it really shook me up.  I had to wait until she was gone so that I could creep back into the bathroom and take care of things.

Taking into account the fact that I am extremely introverted--is this rude or are my expectations out of order?   

shhh its me:
  Except for "I'm out of paper can you please pass me some?" or something along those lines THERE IS A CONE OF SILENCE.   

Zizi-K:

--- Quote from: flickan on October 30, 2013, 09:43:49 PM ---I've dealt with the "small office" bathroom (think 2-3 stalls, everyone knows everyone) for a long time and there is a thing that happens often enough that I can't help wondering if I'm the only one who thinks it's out of line.

Does anyone else get bothered by coworkers talking to them when they're in the stall?  It has always struck me as a serious breach of etiquette to attempt to converse with a coworker when they are indisposed.  I knows guys don't talk in the men's room.  I know women sometimes talk to their friends in a public bathroom.  But don't female coworkers respect the stall as a blind spot and a privacy zone?  You're not supposed to know who's in there unless you saw them go in, right?  And even then you're supposed to pretend.

I'm not particularly close to any of ladies I work with so it isn't a friend scenario.  The most glaring example was a while back when I had a coworker call me out in the stall (I guess she saw my shoes?) and ask me a work-related question.  It was not by any means urgent and it felt terribly intrusive.

Then the other day I was taking care of business when suddenly a voice from the stall next to me called "psst, Flicka, is that you??"  I was so startled I tensed up and shot back a not-very-polite, "What's wrong-- what do you want!?"  I thought maybe something bad had happened and then I thought maybe she ran out of paper.  But no, she continued with, "Sorry if you hear any noises, okay, please ignore them!"

Are you kidding me??

I mean, I was in zen mode and taking care of business and now my coworker is not only calling attention to the fact that we're both attending to needs but prepping me for embarrassing noises that I am usually thrilled to pretend aren't happening.

I was so flummoxed I just stammered, "Yeah, great, okay, whatever," and bolted from the bathroom.

So I could have been nicer about it, definitely.  No points there.  But it really shook me up.  I had to wait until she was gone so that I could creep back into the bathroom and take care of things.

Taking into account the fact that I am extremely introverted--is this rude or are my expectations out of order?

--- End quote ---

I'm an extrovert, and this would annoy me/skeeve me out to no end. I have no idea what you can do about it, other than continue offering only terse replies. To the woman who asked you a work-related question, I might have said - "Um, Sally hows about we talk about this once I'm out of the bathroom. I consider this to be private time. Thanks!"

Jones:
Definitely reminds me of Elliot Reid in Scrubs, who has an ongoing problem with speaking to people who are standing outside the door and trying to have a conversation while she "takes care of business" inside.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h3mFZFVuYwc

In one episode, JD tries to express his love to her and she screams at him, because she's on the toilet! Couldn't find that clip though I tried.

I personally don't talk to people while I or they are using a toilet unless it's the aforementioned request for TP.

Katana_Geldar:
Or maybe emergency feminine products. If you really have to have a conversation in the bathroom, wait until you're outside the stalls.

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