Author Topic: Our treats aren't your buffet  (Read 6069 times)

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SoCalVal

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Re: Our treats aren't your buffet
« Reply #15 on: November 02, 2013, 04:15:13 AM »
I have to agree that I don't understand why no one said anything.  By letting her just collect up food and go, you all silently told her that it was perfectly fine.



TootsNYC

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Re: Our treats aren't your buffet
« Reply #16 on: November 02, 2013, 01:04:03 PM »
Or you could have put it away. I've done that--about the third person shows up, and it's clear that people are going to be descending, I've gotten up and said, "I'm going to put these away or out of sight, here behind me on my desk, if you want them. That'll discourage other people from other departments."

I understand how it can be really daunting to essentially say, "We don't want to share with you."

And honestly, all those people who came to get candy were anywhere from sort of wrong to really wrong.

White Lotus

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Re: Our treats aren't your buffet
« Reply #17 on: November 02, 2013, 10:17:26 PM »
It actually would be fun for different groups to bring in their own secret treats and have everybody go trick or treating around the building -- one at a time from each department.  Good way for people to get to know each other in a situation that is both structured and informal.

However, unless you happen to be in a specific location on actual business, and at least ask, if not wait to be invited, mooching a work group, department, etc.'s  goodies is rude.  "Hey, ask first!  We only brought  for ourselves" occurs to me as a not rude response if said in a pleasant and slightly jocular tone.

jane7166

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Re: Our treats aren't your buffet
« Reply #18 on: November 05, 2013, 07:56:14 AM »
I used to work in an office where everyone would stop by my department and just help themselves to whatever we "girls" had brought in.  This even included the lunches on our desks if we forgot to hide them.  We did say something and were told that it was not "nice" to not share.
Yikes.   It's also not nice to never contribute but keep taking.  Sounds like your coworkers never left kindergarten.

MissRose

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Re: Our treats aren't your buffet
« Reply #19 on: November 05, 2013, 09:19:35 AM »
I would have said something like, "sorry these are for a meeting".

At least in my office when we have potlucks, it is understood (and also communicated) that all those who brought something get to partake.  Only later in the day can others who chose not to can partake if there are leftovers.

Petticoats

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Re: Our treats aren't your buffet
« Reply #20 on: November 05, 2013, 11:42:55 AM »
I have to agree that I don't understand why no one said anything.  By letting her just collect up food and go, you all silently told her that it was perfectly fine.

Those of you saying this must not be Southern. :) For me and my circle, the idea of telling someone no in a situation like this is horrifying.

And yes, it is a terrible inhibition to have trained into one... which is one reason I like hanging out at Ehell, so I can learn ways to correct situations without feeling like I'm behaving like a heinous, rude, "ugly" cow.

SoCalVal

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Re: Our treats aren't your buffet
« Reply #21 on: November 06, 2013, 01:51:19 AM »
I have to agree that I don't understand why no one said anything.  By letting her just collect up food and go, you all silently told her that it was perfectly fine.

Those of you saying this must not be Southern. :) For me and my circle, the idea of telling someone no in a situation like this is horrifying.

And yes, it is a terrible inhibition to have trained into one... which is one reason I like hanging out at Ehell, so I can learn ways to correct situations without feeling like I'm behaving like a heinous, rude, "ugly" cow.

Oh, I understand; in my Asian heritage, we wouldn't dream of telling someone no, normally (I see this every month at church -- there are two individuals who are never at Mass and who don't contribute to the post-Mass fellowship potluck and practically run down the parishioners to load up their plates first then ignore us all and chow down on the free food; I'd love to say to them "could you, at least, try not to knock over others in your quest to get to the food then to the tables before the rest of us?").  However, I also tend to be forthright (which I wouldn't say is my culturally American side -- it's just me in a nutshell) and will often stand on principle so I would not have a problem "being the bad guy" in order to stop such SS behavior.

In this case of treat-hoarding, if this happened at work, I think my coworkers and I would've determined to pass out the treats individually in advance in the future so, unless that person wants to come and steal treats from everyone's desk that belongs to those individuals, that person wouldn't have the opportunity to hoard everything.  I suppose this would be considered PA, but I'd feel an inclination to say to each person as I was passing out the treats, "Last time, I noticed not everyone got to have a treat so I'm making sure each person gets one" (hmmm...this sounds oddly familiar so I'm wondering if I've had to deal with such behavior in the past...).



Minmom3

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Re: Our treats aren't your buffet
« Reply #22 on: November 06, 2013, 12:49:06 PM »
You did - and it was in grade school!
Mother to children and fuzz butts....