General Etiquette > All In A Day's Work

The playpen at work...better known as the office....

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happygrrl:
I've noticed that another manager has seemed very aloof and distant for the past several weeks, although we are just co-workers, not friends-outside-of-work. I haven't paid a lot of attention to it (due to being busy and distracted myself), but it was brought to my attention today that she is miffed at me b/c she thinks that I snubbed her one Friday when I was swamped and a mutual coworker asked me to go to lunch. I was in the middle of a messy, must be finished by the end of the day project and asked who was going (thinking that if it was a large group, it would take more time to order, pay-up, etc...) and it was. So, I declined (told her i was busy) and that was that.

Or so I thought. A week or so after that, us managers were told that we were to be given a series of free management effectiveness classes over the course of a couple of months. All of the other managers were invited, but not me. When I asked, i was told that there wasn't enough room for me (10 mangers in a room meant to hold 80 people), and the pissed-off co-worker was the one that made that decision. I let that go b/c I was/am so busy, but now I've heard this.

I have no clue as to what to do. This woman is thistight with our boss who thinks she can do no wrong. Any thoughts? (I swear I work in a playpen!!)

Kaypeep:
Ignore all this drama. But, in the spirit of friendly coworkerness, ask that woman to lunch who you turned down back then. Don't make it about righting a wrong or trying to get back into good graces.  Just go to lunch like nothing ever happened.  Don't play their game, but since you didn't snub her and might have ordinarily gone to lunch anyway, doing so now shows you harbor no ill will towards her (then or now.)

veronaz:
The problem seems to be you're being told by others that the manager is mad at you and why.  Red flag!  Junior high school potstirrers.  Steer clear of THEM.  Don't comment to them about the situation.

Meanwhile, I agree that it might be a good idea to invite her to lunch.

momof2weenies:

--- Quote from: happygrrl on November 01, 2013, 01:28:26 PM ---Snip . . .

Or so I thought. A week or so after that, us managers were told that we were to be given a series of free management effectiveness classes over the course of a couple of months. All of the other managers were invited, but not me. When I asked, i was told that there wasn't enough room for me (10 mangers in a room meant to hold 80 people), and the pissed-off co-worker was the one that made that decision. I let that go b/c I was/am so busy, but now I've heard this.

--- End quote ---

You do need to check with your boss on this though.  "Boss, I understand that apparently there isn't enough space for me to attend the management effectiveness classes with the other managers.  When can I expect to be scheduled for make-up sessions?"

Because of course you're not being denied this opportunity that every other manager is getting, surely it's only been delayed for you - and since you're a team player, you're cool with it and just following up.

peaches:

--- Quote from: happygrrl on November 01, 2013, 01:28:26 PM --- I was in the middle of a messy, must be finished by the end of the day project and asked who was going (thinking that if it was a large group, it would take more time to order, pay-up, etc...) and it was. So, I declined (told her i was busy) and that was that.


--- End quote ---

I think this is where things might have gone wrong. You asked a question that might have been misinterpreted. If you didn't explain why you asked who was going (size of the group, therefore too much time involved), your decision not to go could be seen as a snub.

I'll be honest - getting along with other employees, even the difficult ones, is an important part of any job. It's just as important as getting the actual work done. 

Given that this person is in the good graces of the boss, it's all the more important to get along with her.

I'd make an effort to get to know this person better, and I'd take the initiative to do it.

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