Author Topic: People asking the hostess for rides?  (Read 3932 times)

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lakey

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Re: People asking the hostess for rides?
« Reply #30 on: January 08, 2014, 02:17:19 PM »
Everyone knows, or should know, that hosting a party involves a lot of work, cleaning, food preparation, getting dressed. Expecting a host or hostess to drive over and pick you up isn't just rude, or entitled, it is an incredible imposition. If someone is adult enough to be invited to a party, they are adult enough to provide for their own transportation.

If this happens with younger adults, perhaps they were raised in homes where they were allowed to believe that the world revolves around them. There are parents who cater to their kids, and I imagine that when they grow up, these kids might think that expecting a host to get in the car and come to get them is reasonable. This is why it is important to say "no" to people. Every time that a person makes an unreasonable request, and we don't kindly say "no", we are letting them think that imposing on people is acceptable. We are encouraging them to be self-centered.

When a lot of us were in our early twenties, we made some missteps, usually due to lack of experience. I believe that in the past people were more likely to let us know when we crossed the line. I think that now, a lot of people are so afraid of hurting someone's feelings that they unintentionally encourage poor behavior.

lakey

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Re: People asking the hostess for rides?
« Reply #31 on: January 08, 2014, 02:20:51 PM »
There is one exception that I would make. If a guest was already at my home, but was too drunk too drive home, I would make sure there was alternate transportation, even if it meant waiting until everyone left and driving them myself.

lakey

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Re: People asking the hostess for rides?
« Reply #32 on: January 08, 2014, 02:27:17 PM »
Lorelei_Evil,
If you really think that your family isn't inviting you to functions because you use public transportation, it wouldn't hurt to tactfully let one or more of them know that you are used to using the bus and transportation to events isn't an issue for you.
It is a shame for you to miss out on things because of a misunderstanding.
I come from a similar family. Everyone gets around by cars. I have one cousin who never got a driver's license or car, lives downtown, and gets along just fine. He attends anything he chooses to.

Lorelei_Evil

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Re: People asking the hostess for rides?
« Reply #33 on: January 08, 2014, 02:38:24 PM »
Except that transit strands me 45 miles away, so that won't work.  There's no connection between the 2 systems.  One is public, the other private.

I don't miss out.  They don't miss me at all, why should I worry about it?

Thipu1

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Re: People asking the hostess for rides?
« Reply #34 on: January 08, 2014, 02:49:50 PM »
I can understand arranging a ride for an elderly person who chooses not to drive after dark but those arrangements are usually made long before the actual date of the party. 

I can also understand emergencies such as an auto breakdown or the migraine incident an earlier poster mentioned.  An SO of the host or another guest would probably chip in to help in these cases. 

Guests must understand that the offer of hospitality does not include serving as a hotel shuttle.  Chauffeuring people to and from parties can seriously dilute the pleasure of their company. 

Mrs S

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Re: People asking the hostess for rides?
« Reply #35 on: January 10, 2014, 02:16:12 AM »
I have had it offered to me once. I had just had surgery on my tummy and was not allowed to drive (hubby even stole my keys!) and DH was going to be at work.

DS was asked to go to a party and we had RSVP'd yes but then i had my emergency surgery so I contacted the host to say I would be unable to drop DS off. She then offered to pick him up for the party and let him stay for a bit longer after so I could rest (she knew how bad I was prior to the sugery).

Prob the one and only time I would ever let the host pick me or my kids up.

TootsNYC

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Re: People asking the hostess for rides?
« Reply #36 on: January 10, 2014, 08:07:48 AM »
I have had it offered to me once. I had just had surgery on my tummy and was not allowed to drive (hubby even stole my keys!) and DH was going to be at work.

DS was asked to go to a party and we had RSVP'd yes but then i had my emergency surgery so I contacted the host to say I would be unable to drop DS off. She then offered to pick him up for the party and let him stay for a bit longer after so I could rest (she knew how bad I was prior to the sugery).

Prob the one and only time I would ever let the host pick me or my kids up.

But see, this is different: you simply stated your problem while you were declining the invite. Your hostess wasn't put on the spot, and you didn't ask for something unreasonable, thereby displaying your lack of regard for her.

SHE offered.

And in many situations, it wouldn't be wrong for a guest receiving such an offer to seriously consider it, and even to accept it.