Author Topic: She wants to apply for a really "icky" job  (Read 5117 times)

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jmarvellous

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Re: She wants to apply for a really "icky" job
« Reply #15 on: November 02, 2013, 10:15:18 AM »
Well, telling her it's illegitimate and unsafe is doing so, in so many words. Just my opinion.

veronaz

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Re: She wants to apply for a really "icky" job
« Reply #16 on: November 02, 2013, 10:17:17 AM »
My mistake. I think your obligation to apologize (and not to offer your opinion that the person is "icky") is even greater when it's someone you barely know, so my opinion still stands.

Maybe I missed it, but veronaz didn't tell her that she is icky.

You are correct.  And I never said the person is icky - I referred to the job itself as being icky - imo.

perpetua

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Re: She wants to apply for a really "icky" job
« Reply #17 on: November 02, 2013, 10:20:30 AM »
You owe friend an apology, and not a qualified one, a straight up, "I shouldn't have said that. I'm sorry. I respect your right to make your own choices, which are none of my business."

I hope your friendship can grow from there, but I wouldn't be surprised if it doesn't.

???

In my first post I said the person was an acquaintance.  This is someone I run into maybe once a year, if that.  There is no hope for growth (on either of our parts).  However, if we crossed paths again I wouldn't run to the other side of the street - I would be courteous/civil and wouldn't bring the subject up.

That being the case, her choice of career is even *less* of your business than it would have been if she was a friend.

Given that, whatever the level of your friendship, you owe this person an apology, OP. This really was none of your business and commenting on it like that was really rude and unnecessary.

veronaz

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Re: She wants to apply for a really "icky" job
« Reply #18 on: November 02, 2013, 10:30:08 AM »
You owe friend an apology, and not a qualified one, a straight up, "I shouldn't have said that. I'm sorry. I respect your right to make your own choices, which are none of my business."

I hope your friendship can grow from there, but I wouldn't be surprised if it doesn't.

???

In my first post I said the person was an acquaintance.  This is someone I run into maybe once a year, if that.  There is no hope for growth (on either of our parts).  However, if we crossed paths again I wouldn't run to the other side of the street - I would be courteous/civil and wouldn't bring the subject up.

That being the case, her choice of career is even *less* of your business than it would have been if she was a friend.

Given that, whatever the level of your friendship, you owe this person an apology, OP. This really was none of your business and commenting on it like that was really rude and unnecessary.

:D :D

Then perhaps she shouldn't have told me. I was in a grocery store aisle - minding my own business - when she approached me, said 'hi' and made her announcement.

As I've said, there is no level of friendship.
« Last Edit: November 02, 2013, 10:33:11 AM by veronaz »

SamiHami

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Re: She wants to apply for a really "icky" job
« Reply #19 on: November 02, 2013, 10:34:25 AM »
Veronaz, I am going to disagree with most of the PPs here. I think having phone scrabble with strangers is an icky way to make money, even though I recognize it is legitimate and legal. Some jobs are less desirable than others. I know a plumber who thinks his work is the bees knees, but I think it's icky. There's nothing wrong with that. I wonder why someone who is a mere acquaintance is bringing up the subject with you; it seems like an odd thing to discuss with someone you don't know that well, considering that a lot of people could have negative feelings about that type of work. It makes me wonder if she perhaps enjoys getting a reaction out of people (which I guess would be a positive in the line of work she's considering !  ;)  )

What have you got? Is it food? Is it for me? I want it whatever it is!

veronaz

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Re: She wants to apply for a really "icky" job
« Reply #20 on: November 02, 2013, 10:38:34 AM »
BWAHHAHA @ SamiHami ;) ......yeah, indeed.

But hey, it's okay...... others are entitled to their opinions - just not entitled to their own facts.

As far as people coming up to announce something just to get a reaction…………I’m reminded of something that happened several years ago.  I took a bus downtown and some woman I used to live down the street from came and sat down next to me.  After a couple minutes she said “See that guy back there in the blue shirt?  We’re having an affair.”  I just said “Oh?”, nodded, and soon it was time to get off the bus and say “Take care!”  So I was good that time. :)

correction - woman (not women)

« Last Edit: November 02, 2013, 11:02:31 AM by veronaz »

SiotehCat

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Re: She wants to apply for a really "icky" job
« Reply #21 on: November 02, 2013, 10:45:54 AM »
Veronaz, I am going to disagree with most of the PPs here. I think having phone scrabble with strangers is an icky way to make money, even though I recognize it is legitimate and legal. Some jobs are less desirable than others. I know a plumber who thinks his work is the bees knees, but I think it's icky. There's nothing wrong with that. I wonder why someone who is a mere acquaintance is bringing up the subject with you; it seems like an odd thing to discuss with someone you don't know that well, considering that a lot of people could have negative feelings about that type of work. It makes me wonder if she perhaps enjoys getting a reaction out of people (which I guess would be a positive in the line of work she's considering !  ;)  )

Or she could just be excited? I couldn't tell if she had actually found a job in that line of work yet, but I can see why she would be excited to have found such a good job.

SamiHami

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Re: She wants to apply for a really "icky" job
« Reply #22 on: November 02, 2013, 11:00:35 AM »
BWAHHAHA @ SamiHami ;) ......yeah, indeed.

But hey, it's okay...... others are entitled to their opinions - just not entitled to their own facts.

As far as people coming up to announce something just to get a reaction…………I’m reminded of something that happened several years ago.  I took a bus downtown and some women I used to live down the street from came and sat down next to me.  After a couple minutes she said “See that guy back there in the blue shirt?  We’re having an affair.”  I just said “Oh?”, nodded, and soon it was time to get off the bus and say “Take care!”  So I was good that time. :)

That reminds me of something....My DH and I used to work at the same place. We would drive in together and park, then ride a company provided bus to our worksite. Of course, we always sat together on the bus to and from work. One afternoon we were sitting together and happened to be holding hands. A woman in my dept that I knew, but not well, was standing in the aisle (her preference, there was plenty of seating). She saw us holding hands and winked at me. Feeling silly, I laughingly said, "Shhh! Don't tell my husband!"

Her back stiffened and and she looked shocked. I realized she thought I was serious! I told her I was kidding and that DH really is my hubby, but I don't think she really believed me...she was pretty chilly to me after that.  Oh well!

What have you got? Is it food? Is it for me? I want it whatever it is!

veronaz

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Re: She wants to apply for a really "icky" job
« Reply #23 on: November 02, 2013, 11:01:15 AM »
It was my understanding that she was considering it and looking into the application process.

Quote
She saw us holding hands and winked at me. Feeling silly, I laughingly said, "Shhh! Don't tell my husband!"

Her back stiffened and and she looked shocked. I realized she thought I was serious! I told her I was kidding and that DH really is my hubby, but I don't think she really believed me...she was pretty chilly to me after that.  Oh well!

So..she winked when she thought you were having an affair, but became cool when you said you two were married.  Go figure.
« Last Edit: November 02, 2013, 11:07:46 AM by veronaz »

Goosey

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Re: She wants to apply for a really "icky" job
« Reply #24 on: November 02, 2013, 11:07:37 AM »
It definitely seems you're not open to hearing anything other than "ew, you're right! Soooo icky! You couldn't help yourself!"

Sorry, you're an adult. I would expect you to control yourself and not pull a face and say false things (what's that about being entitled to your own opinion and not your own facts? Her potential job is neither illegitimate or dangerous...) AND then tell her what she SHOULD do instead. It was insulting and infantizing. ESPECIALLY since you don't know her well. You basically told her that she must not have thought this through. Very condescending.

*inviteseller

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Re: She wants to apply for a really "icky" job
« Reply #25 on: November 02, 2013, 11:33:37 AM »
If someone I knew..be it a great friend or an acquaintance, told me they were going to make money doing anything in the scrabble industry, my reaction would be one of horror also.  I would not be able to control the look on my face, and I would be honest about my feelings on it..I think it is demeaning to a person to have to earn money by talking about sex over the phone.  It is just another form of prostitution as you are getting paid to have scrabble with an anonymous person.  I am not by any means a prude, but the scrabble trade industry is mainly aimed at exploiting women.  There are plenty of part time jobs that have a little more respect attached to them..at home transcription work, baby sitting, assisting home bound and the elderly.  Much better than playing fantasy games with men over the phone.

Goosey

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Re: She wants to apply for a really "icky" job
« Reply #26 on: November 02, 2013, 11:34:39 AM »
I wasn't trying to get the thread lock I was criticizing your behavior. I also criticized what you said as false. I don't understand how these two things equals me trying to get the thread closed unless there's a rule against saying the OP was in the wrong both factually and behaviorally. I did not address anything you haven't brought up first. So, if you're accusing me of trying to get that closed why did you bring up these topics in the first place?

SiotehCat

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Re: She wants to apply for a really "icky" job
« Reply #27 on: November 02, 2013, 11:36:34 AM »
Hmmm.  Goosey, could you be trying to get the thread locked by going off the deep end with your rant?  I think it's certainly possible. (btw, I don't come here for agreement, approval, and/or validation.)  I don't need a "sorry" and I'm aware that I'm an adult.

Anyway, if you're successful at getting the thread locked (a tactic often used), it would be a shame because I actually think the discussion is interesting.

Oh well, we'll see.

I think you are being very rude. I wouldn't call Gooseys post a rant or "going off the deep end". I actually very much agreed with her.

You posted and asked opinions. The majority agree that you were wrong and should apologize. You have made excuses for yourself and defended your position. It does look like you were seeking validation.

veronaz

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Re: She wants to apply for a really "icky" job
« Reply #28 on: November 02, 2013, 11:42:38 AM »
Btw re: cleaning houses – yes that can be physically exhausting but it pays a lot more and is less stressful than a minimum wage fast food worker.  I know someone who cleaned houses on Saturdays for awhile and made $120 plus tips for 6 hrs work.  Running errands can also bring in some decent money.

Back to topic......

Quote
It does look like you were seeking validation.
Looks can be deceiving.  Actually, the question "Was I rude?" or "Could I have handled this better?" or "What do you think?" and similar questions are asked a LOT (most of the time) in this forum.  When I see such posts I don't necessarily think people are seeking official sanction or thay they "need" people to agree with them and be on their side.  They are simply generating discussion and asking opinions.  Sometimes people agree, sometimes they don't, and (imo) that's fine.

And yes, sometimes posters go off the deep end on a rant for their own reasons or to try to get the OP and others riled up in an effort to get the thread locked.  Sometimes they are successful, sometimes not.
« Last Edit: November 02, 2013, 12:19:09 PM by veronaz »

LadyL

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Re: She wants to apply for a really "icky" job
« Reply #29 on: November 02, 2013, 11:50:32 AM »
Hmmm.  Goosey, could you be trying to get the thread locked by going off the deep end with your rant?  I think it's certainly possible. (btw, I don't come here for agreement, approval, and/or validation.)  I don't need a "sorry" and I'm aware that I'm an adult.

Anyway, if you're successful at getting the thread locked (a tactic often used), it would be a shame because I actually think the discussion is interesting.

Oh well, we'll see.

I think you are being very rude. I wouldn't call Gooseys post a rant or "going off the deep end". I actually very much agreed with her.

You posted and asked opinions. The majority agree that you were wrong and should apologize. You have made excuses for yourself and defended your position. It does look like you were seeking validation.

POD. I understand the OP may have expected that we would agree that the job is "icky" and her response was reasonable, but many think the OP was far ruder than the oversharing acquaintance. I agree that the response was insulting, infantilizing, and condescending.