Author Topic: General Magazine Nuttiness  (Read 19960 times)

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Kimblee

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Re: General Magazine Nuttiness
« Reply #60 on: November 04, 2013, 10:25:10 AM »
My mil subscribes to a couple of mags that she was sold to...and gives them to me.

Anyway, last month has a suggestion under, "help, I am out of lipstick and going out with the girls in an hour.  What to do??"

And the advice was to go to the Kitchen for a can of beets and to stain your lips with beet juice.

I quit reading the mag.

Seriously, if I am that desperate, beets are not the answer.

I'm completely fascinate by this suggestion.

Do that many people have cans of beets?  How do you run out of lipstick( I mean you can get a good 20 more application when they are worn own with a brush or even your finger.  Who has one tube of lipstick? *if its so important to you that cant go out without , to the point of putting beet juice on your lips wouldn't you notice a month before your one and only tube ran out? and how many people just can't take 3 minutes to buy one at the start of the evening or on their way out?  and I don't think beet juice would look good on everyone. Wouldn't it be messy , wouldn't purple strain all around your mouth look worse then no lipstick, I can put lipstick on without going "coloring outside the lines"  but beetjuice applied perfectly maybe a challange.... I know the point was that it was silly but it doesn't make sense on any level.

Also I have a jar of beets so am going to try it.  I think I'll end up with purple over half my chin

Plus, if you're going to take something from your kitchen, why not grab a q tip and the red food coloring? It'll last longer and you won't smell like beets!

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Re: General Magazine Nuttiness
« Reply #61 on: November 04, 2013, 11:06:44 AM »
MIL and her friends subscribe to a number of health newsletters.  Some of these are of more va
Ue than others. She frequently sends us tips on what we should be drinking.

In the last month, we've been told that we should ---

Drink cocoa instead of coffee for breakfast (good for the memory)

Drink a large glass of grape juice with every meal (good for the memory)

Drink a hot beverage after every meal (dissolves all the fat in the food you eat.  :( )

Of course, we should be drinking at least a gallon of water a day and at least ten cups of green tea. 

Good grief!  With all that liquid, I'd be lucky if I ever got out of the bathroom.


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Re: General Magazine Nuttiness
« Reply #62 on: November 04, 2013, 02:41:10 PM »
MIL and her friends subscribe to a number of health newsletters.  Some of these are of more va
Ue than others. She frequently sends us tips on what we should be drinking.

In the last month, we've been told that we should ---

Drink cocoa instead of coffee for breakfast (good for the memory)

Drink a large glass of grape juice with every meal (good for the memory)

Drink a hot beverage after every meal (dissolves all the fat in the food you eat.  :( )

Of course, we should be drinking at least a gallon of water a day and at least ten cups of green tea. 

Good grief!  With all that liquid, I'd be lucky if I ever got out of the bathroom.
Some time ago, there were a series of ads in women's magazines for a fat-buster product.  Not to consume, mind you, but to put into your hot bath water.  It was supposed to somehow dissolve the fat, which then went down the drain. 

This raised a number of questions in my mind, like "How dumb do these people think women are?"

And even more about "But what if it really worked?"
  • Wouldn't the fat float to the top of the water?  Ewww, bathing in grease-coated water, my favorite thing in the world.  And think about having to clean the bathtub!
  • If the fat does go down the drain, wouldn't it cause clogs?
  • How long does it take to work?  If you sit in the tub, wouldn't it dissolve only the fat below the water-line? Or to even things out, do you have to sink down into the water and slowly rotate, like a chicken on a rotisserie?
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cwm

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Re: General Magazine Nuttiness
« Reply #63 on: November 04, 2013, 02:49:18 PM »
MIL and her friends subscribe to a number of health newsletters.  Some of these are of more va
Ue than others. She frequently sends us tips on what we should be drinking.

In the last month, we've been told that we should ---

Drink cocoa instead of coffee for breakfast (good for the memory)

Drink a large glass of grape juice with every meal (good for the memory)

Drink a hot beverage after every meal (dissolves all the fat in the food you eat.  :( )

Of course, we should be drinking at least a gallon of water a day and at least ten cups of green tea. 

Good grief!  With all that liquid, I'd be lucky if I ever got out of the bathroom.
Some time ago, there were a series of ads in women's magazines for a fat-buster product.  Not to consume, mind you, but to put into your hot bath water.  It was supposed to somehow dissolve the fat, which then went down the drain. 

This raised a number of questions in my mind, like "How dumb do these people think women are?"

And even more about "But what if it really worked?"
  • Wouldn't the fat float to the top of the water?  Ewww, bathing in grease-coated water, my favorite thing in the world.  And think about having to clean the bathtub!
  • If the fat does go down the drain, wouldn't it cause clogs?
  • How long does it take to work?  If you sit in the tub, wouldn't it dissolve only the fat below the water-line? Or to even things out, do you have to sink down into the water and slowly rotate, like a chicken on a rotisserie?

Okay, now you're making me laugh out loud at work, and while it's fun, I'm getting weird looks!

Maybe we should all just get some Adipose pills? The fat just walks away, or so I've been told...

Redwing

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Re: General Magazine Nuttiness
« Reply #64 on: November 04, 2013, 02:57:00 PM »
I can't think of any outrageous things I've seen in the magazines in the 35 years I've been keeping my own house.  I pretty much stopped reading them years ago when I realized each issue of almost every magazine was causing me to feel badly about myself.  Everything in them was be a better homemaker, be a better mother, be a better scrabble player, be a better daughter, sister, aunt, drone.  It never ended. 

After a long hiatus, I will buy them occasionally, mostly because I love magazines of almost any type.  But let's face it, everything they've got in them of value, like recipes, is available on the internet.

magicdomino

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Re: General Magazine Nuttiness
« Reply #65 on: November 04, 2013, 03:08:03 PM »
I "loved" the articles on How to Organize Your Small Closet.  Yeah, Smart Decorator Person? Let's see you stuff that stuff into my 24" by 36" closet.  Their small closets were easily twice the size of mine. 

lowspark

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Re: General Magazine Nuttiness
« Reply #66 on: November 04, 2013, 03:52:49 PM »
I like to add up how much money was spent on an outfit when they list all the prices. It's amazing how many times it's upwards of $1000. And I'm just talking top, pants, shoes and purse or maybe a pair of earrings.

I think they get sent a ton of free stuff from companies who hope they will promote their product. What happens to all that free stuff? I guess staff takes it home, right? After a few months of that, you probably get immune to the cost of things and how we in the real world actually have to shell out real money.

My challenge: I defy you to find a woman's magazine that does NOT have a picture of some kind of make up which has been removed from its container and crushed, smeared or poured into an artistic mass. Something like this: http://www.pixibeauty.com/media/wysiwyg/Family_Circle_Pixi_March_2013.jpg Every single issue of every single woman's magazine I've ever opened up has some version of this page.

TootsNYC

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Re: General Magazine Nuttiness
« Reply #67 on: November 04, 2013, 03:55:22 PM »
well, they have to photograph makeup every month, and they want something semi-artistic. And I'll say that I've always had the urge to do that with makeup in the package.

jedikaiti

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Re: General Magazine Nuttiness
« Reply #68 on: November 04, 2013, 03:59:28 PM »
The lists of holiday suggestions that they've trotted out for the last 75 years, without changing so much as a period.

"Wet the string when you tie up packages for mailing, and it won't come untied!"
And the US Postal Service will refuse to accept it, and has so refused for decades.  String would get caught in their machinery -- and we have adhesive tapes now MADE for sealing packages.

"Use a flashlight instead of a candle in the pumpkin that your child carries around on Halloween."  :o I'm 58 years old, and I have NEVER seen a child carrying a pumpkin around ToTing.  WHY would someone do such a silly thing?   They're too heavy and awkward for a small child, and kids can't carry a decent bag or bucket for the candy that way!

I bet they mean those plastic pumpkins kids carry to collect candy.  My dad did this for me.
]

I can't imagine putting a candle in a candy bucket anyway, though. And it seems like the flashlight would just get buried and the light blocked, anyway.
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lowspark

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Re: General Magazine Nuttiness
« Reply #69 on: November 04, 2013, 04:00:18 PM »
Yeah, I agree, it looks like it would be fun to crunch up the make up like that. I'm just sick to death of seeing it every single time.

GlitterIsMyDrug

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Re: General Magazine Nuttiness
« Reply #70 on: November 04, 2013, 04:00:44 PM »
well, they have to photograph makeup every month, and they want something semi-artistic. And I'll say that I've always had the urge to do that with makeup in the package.

I'm not alone! Actually I've done that with make-up, but much cheaper make-up then what they use in magazines I'm sure. I find it fun.

jedikaiti

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Re: General Magazine Nuttiness
« Reply #71 on: November 04, 2013, 04:25:19 PM »
MIL and her friends subscribe to a number of health newsletters.  Some of these are of more va
Ue than others. She frequently sends us tips on what we should be drinking.

In the last month, we've been told that we should ---

Drink cocoa instead of coffee for breakfast (good for the memory)

Drink a large glass of grape juice with every meal (good for the memory)

Drink a hot beverage after every meal (dissolves all the fat in the food you eat.  :( )

Of course, we should be drinking at least a gallon of water a day and at least ten cups of green tea. 

Good grief!  With all that liquid, I'd be lucky if I ever got out of the bathroom.
Some time ago, there were a series of ads in women's magazines for a fat-buster product.  Not to consume, mind you, but to put into your hot bath water.  It was supposed to somehow dissolve the fat, which then went down the drain. 

This raised a number of questions in my mind, like "How dumb do these people think women are?"

And even more about "But what if it really worked?"
  • Wouldn't the fat float to the top of the water?  Ewww, bathing in grease-coated water, my favorite thing in the world.  And think about having to clean the bathtub!
  • If the fat does go down the drain, wouldn't it cause clogs?
  • How long does it take to work?  If you sit in the tub, wouldn't it dissolve only the fat below the water-line? Or to even things out, do you have to sink down into the water and slowly rotate, like a chicken on a rotisserie?

Okay, now you're making me laugh out loud at work, and while it's fun, I'm getting weird looks!

Maybe we should all just get some Adipose pills? The fat just walks away, or so I've been told...

Why that would be a secret thing, is beyond me. Just ask - there's thousands of people on Earth who'd happily help an alien race procreate in exchange for miraculous fat loss!
What part of v_e = \sqrt{\frac{2GM}{r}} don't you understand? It's only rocket science!

"The problem with re-examining your brilliant ideas is that more often than not, you discover they are the intellectual equivalent of saying, 'Hold my beer and watch this!'" - Cindy Couture

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Re: General Magazine Nuttiness
« Reply #72 on: November 04, 2013, 07:13:10 PM »
In the last month, we've been told that we should ---

Drink cocoa instead of coffee for breakfast (good for the memory)

Drink a large glass of grape juice with every meal (good for the memory)


I doubt I'd ever remember to do all that . . . 8)
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baglady

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Re: General Magazine Nuttiness
« Reply #73 on: November 04, 2013, 07:21:21 PM »
Have you seen http://Catalogliving.net and Magazine Living: http://curbed.com

Wonderful snarky comments based on the assumption that people actually decorate their houses that way.

The "save a bunch of money by giving up your daily Starbucks latte" tips crack me up. I don't do Starbucks, and if I did, I'd be buying plain old black coffee (do they sell such a thing?). I will buy the occasional $1.20 cup of coffee at the convenience store instead of, or in addition to, making my own at home. I guess I'm just not in their demographic. I'm definitely not in the "wear your panties as a Scrunchie" demographic -- they obviously haven't seen my plus-size cotton Hanes skivvies.
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Re: General Magazine Nuttiness
« Reply #74 on: November 04, 2013, 07:58:20 PM »
Have you seen http://Catalogliving.net and Magazine Living: http://curbed.com

Wonderful snarky comments based on the assumption that people actually decorate their houses that way.

The "save a bunch of money by giving up your daily Starbucks latte" tips crack me up. I don't do Starbucks, and if I did, I'd be buying plain old black coffee (do they sell such a thing?). I will buy the occasional $1.20 cup of coffee at the convenience store instead of, or in addition to, making my own at home. I guess I'm just not in their demographic. I'm definitely not in the "wear your panties as a Scrunchie" demographic -- they obviously haven't seen my plus-size cotton Hanes skivvies.

OMGoodness, thank you. "Wars on Kinkade" on Curbed is killing me. I love it.
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