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Author Topic: But that's MY name!  (Read 10496 times)

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Piratelvr1121

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Re: But that's MY name!
« Reply #30 on: November 06, 2013, 05:53:27 AM »
In our college circle there were two pairs of guys who shared a name. Two named Paul, two named Mike, and come to think of it, on my floor during my freshman year there were two Mia's and two Steves. 

So we gave them nicknames.  One Steve was Huck, the other Howie, with the Mia's, one of them would call everyone Miss or Mr. Lastname so we called her Miss Lastname and the other was Mia.   We called one Paul "Kramer" cause he acted like the character from Seinfeld, and one of the Mikes was "Frankie" though I don't remember how he got that nickname.

It worked pretty well and after a while "Kramer" got tired of being called that, but by that time we weren't hanging out with the other Paul as much so we just did away with the nickname since the reason for the nickname was moot.
Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars.  You have a right to be here. Be cheerful, strive to be happy. -Desiderata

cwm

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Re: But that's MY name!
« Reply #31 on: November 06, 2013, 08:39:47 AM »
On my dad's side of the family, it seems that every other daughter is named "Mary", so growing up I always had to clarify "Your Aunt Mary, my Aunt Mary, or your Great Aunt Mary?". It's a very common question among that family.

Mom's name is Chris *Mylastname*, but her maiden name was Chris *Lastname*. She has a cousin, Elizabeth *Lastname*. She also has another cousin, Chris *Lastname* who married an Elizabeth, who is now Elizabeth *Lastname* on Facebook. None of the four of them are fond of having their own pictures up as their profile picture. My mom is Chris *Lastname* *Mylastname*, so all of her high school friends can search for her by her maiden name. Actually, there's also a third Chris *Lastname*, but he goes by a completely weird nickname, not at all related to his name.

It's not that hard to figure out, really. The cousin Elizabeth who married in and the cousin Elizabeth who was born in are very different in terms of posting style, and cousin Chris usually only comments on his wife's posts, and nobody has had to change their names. It's just how our family ended up being, that so many names are similar.

citadelle

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Re: But that's MY name!
« Reply #32 on: November 06, 2013, 09:40:42 AM »
I can see how you would be taken back. However, I think a person should be able to choose what they'd like to be called, regardless of who else is in his/her life. It probably isn't about you, to her, but instead it is about her own reasons for wanting a change.


Not to mention there is something that would feel odd if someone close to you announces that they want to be known by your name, when they have been going by another name since birth. It has an odd SWF vibe, even if that's not intended.


Any confusion is frustrating, for sure, but I really don't agree that this is a "SWF" kind of thing.

Twik

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Re: But that's MY name!
« Reply #33 on: November 06, 2013, 09:45:26 AM »
I would consider it much less SWF-ish if she didn't run around answering every time someone tried calling the OP by name. It has an air of "Name? You must be talking to me! No, really, it has to be me, because I'm the only Name here, at least the only one that matters."

Not to mention that there will, most likely, be bureaucratic and personal mixups galore. I know my cousin Twik's grades from university, because her marks were always sent to me. She got sent medical information of mine. When I left Hometown to move to Bigcity, it was widely reported that Cousin's wife had left him, and it was rather a shock for people to find her still walking around the town arm-in-arm with him.
My cousin's memoir of love and loneliness while raising a child with multiple disabilities will be out on Amazon soon! Know the Night, by Maria Mutch, has been called "full of hope, light, and companionship for surviving the small hours of the night."

Kiwichick

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Re: But that's MY name!
« Reply #34 on: November 06, 2013, 11:38:21 AM »
But she's not running 'around answering every time someone tried calling the OP by name.'  She's done that on the two occasions they've been together.  Maybe she is a bit drama queenish, but it's likely (since she's not used to being called by her new name) that she's checking to see if she was the person being spoken to.

MariaE

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Re: But that's MY name!
« Reply #35 on: November 06, 2013, 11:54:21 AM »
SWF? I've only ever seen that used to mean "Single White Female", and that doesn't make too much sense in this context :P
 
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Twik

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Re: But that's MY name!
« Reply #36 on: November 06, 2013, 11:55:27 AM »
SWF? I've only ever seen that used to mean "Single White Female", and that doesn't make too much sense in this context :P

It's the title of a movie, where a woman's psychotic roommate tries to "become her".
My cousin's memoir of love and loneliness while raising a child with multiple disabilities will be out on Amazon soon! Know the Night, by Maria Mutch, has been called "full of hope, light, and companionship for surviving the small hours of the night."

Twik

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Re: But that's MY name!
« Reply #37 on: November 06, 2013, 11:58:34 AM »
But she's not running 'around answering every time someone tried calling the OP by name.'  She's done that on the two occasions they've been together.

Well, by that statement, she's done it *every time* the two have been in the same room so far. It wouldn't be apparent if there were only one person by that name in the room.

It may be complete coincidence, or she's more "tuned" to hearing that name right now and will settle down to normal after a while, but if it continues, it will be at best mildly annoying, and at worst creepy.
My cousin's memoir of love and loneliness while raising a child with multiple disabilities will be out on Amazon soon! Know the Night, by Maria Mutch, has been called "full of hope, light, and companionship for surviving the small hours of the night."

MariaE

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Re: But that's MY name!
« Reply #38 on: November 06, 2013, 12:14:31 PM »
SWF? I've only ever seen that used to mean "Single White Female", and that doesn't make too much sense in this context :P

It's the title of a movie, where a woman's psychotic roommate tries to "become her".

Ah!!! That explains it. Thanks! :)
 
Dane by birth, Kiwi by choice

LifeOnPluto

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Re: But that's MY name!
« Reply #39 on: November 08, 2013, 01:30:43 AM »
I can see where the OP is coming from - this would annoy me too. I can understand the cousin wanting to change back to her maiden name. But the "now going by middle name" thing is much more unusual. In my experience, people who go by their middle name have usually been doing so since they were children. Suddenly changing to your middle name well into adulthood strikes me as rather odd.

That said, I don't think there's much you can really do about it. I'm glad she has changed her name on Facebook.

Twik

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Re: But that's MY name!
« Reply #40 on: November 08, 2013, 08:26:07 AM »
The only thing that can be done is to carefully monitor one's financial and other records, to make sure that there's no confusion. The rest may be annoying, but will probably settle down. But scrambled records can create a lot of confusion. My name is, for some reason, a common combination, and it's not unusual for, say, the pharmacist to have to check through several Twiks to get the right one.
My cousin's memoir of love and loneliness while raising a child with multiple disabilities will be out on Amazon soon! Know the Night, by Maria Mutch, has been called "full of hope, light, and companionship for surviving the small hours of the night."

Seraphia

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Re: But that's MY name!
« Reply #41 on: November 08, 2013, 08:40:11 AM »
In our college circle there were two pairs of guys who shared a name. Two named Paul, two named Mike, and come to think of it, on my floor during my freshman year there were two Mia's and two Steves. 

So we gave them nicknames.  One Steve was Huck, the other Howie, with the Mia's, one of them would call everyone Miss or Mr. Lastname so we called her Miss Lastname and the other was Mia.   We called one Paul "Kramer" cause he acted like the character from Seinfeld, and one of the Mikes was "Frankie" though I don't remember how he got that nickname.

It worked pretty well and after a while "Kramer" got tired of being called that, but by that time we weren't hanging out with the other Paul as much so we just did away with the nickname since the reason for the nickname was moot.

I think I've told this on here before, but we had the same issue in the church group I belonged to in college. Three Daves, two Jameses, two Chrises, three Sarahs, two Marks, two Julias, two Joes... you get the idea. We had a lot of people going by surnames or 'big James/little James' for a couple years. It was a relief to have a name that doesn't show up on keychains much.
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emwithme

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Re: But that's MY name!
« Reply #42 on: November 08, 2013, 11:46:29 AM »
On my dad's side of the family, it seems that every other daughter is named "Mary", so growing up I always had to clarify "Your Aunt Mary, my Aunt Mary, or your Great Aunt Mary?". It's a very common question among that family.

My mum and maternal aunt had "Jim" in a similar way.  They both married men called Jim and shared a brother Jim).  Even though my parents have been divorced for nearly 35 years and my mum has now been dead for 20, when I'm talking to that side of the family, it's mine/yours/ours. 

Sophia

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Re: But that's MY name!
« Reply #43 on: November 08, 2013, 12:30:27 PM »
I would put in an alert with all the credit reporting agencies.  It only lasts a certain amount of time.  But, if her thought was to borrow your credit while she is getting on her feet, it will thwart her. 

Twik

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Re: But that's MY name!
« Reply #44 on: November 08, 2013, 12:42:19 PM »
I'll give her the benefit of the doubt that she doesn't plan on stealing the OP's identity for financial reasons, but it can still create a lot of confusion because institutions are great at getting garbage into their databases, and very poor at removing it. So yes, a credit watch is a good idea while things get switched over to her new name.
My cousin's memoir of love and loneliness while raising a child with multiple disabilities will be out on Amazon soon! Know the Night, by Maria Mutch, has been called "full of hope, light, and companionship for surviving the small hours of the night."